My Pink Half of the Drainpipe
The Bonzo Dog Band Lyrics

You who speak to me across the fence
I am referring to my neighbor who I am speaking to from my side of the fence.

Of common sense
My neighbor is someone who I see as very practical.

How your tomato plant will win a prize,
You are telling me about how your tomato plant is going to be awarded a prize.

won't that be nice,
You seem to be happy about the prospect of your tomato plant winning a prize.

And by the way, how's your wife?
You are inquiring about my wife's well-being.

Your holidays were spent in Spain
You spent your holidays in Spain.

You went by train
You traveled to Spain by train.

You'll go again
You intend to go to Spain again.

Have you seen me bullfight poster on the wall?
You are asking me if I have seen your bullfighting poster.

Do you know the appy memory it recalls?
You want me to know how happy of a memory it is for you.

Here's a photograph of me and my son, Ted
You show me a photograph of yourself with your son, Ted.

That's me cousin with his hanky on his head!
You identify your cousin who is wearing a handkerchief on his head.

We booked in at our otel just after two
You tell me that you checked into your hotel at around 2 o'clock.

And met a family from Bradford that we knew
You let me know that you met a family from Bradford who you already knew.

Oooh, a melody! Burp!
You begin to hum a tune and then burp.

My pink half of the drainpipe
The half of the drainpipe that is painted in pink color.

Separates next door from me
That half of the drainpipe separates me from my neighbor next door.

Oh, Mama!
A sudden interjection.

Belongs to me
It is my property.

Rodney's vain saxaphone solo, as promised
A reference to Rodney's saxophone solo that was previously promised.

Semi-detach-ed, ah!
The house is semi-detached from the neighbor's house.

My pink half of the drainpipe
The half of the drainpipe that is painted in pink color.

Belongs to moi
It belongs to me.

I have a sister in Toronto who's a nurse
I tell you about my sister who works as a nurse in Toronto.

And I've had a bit of bother laying turf
I faced some difficulties while laying turf.

It's life, not books, that taught me all I've learned
I believe that my experiences in life taught me everything I have learned.

Woop, in the b'oven my rice pudding's getting burned!
I suddenly remember that my rice pudding is getting burnt in the oven.

Ere, have you seen the new attachment on me drill?
I ask you if you have seen the new attachment on my drill.

I must have the cat put down, cause he's ill
I explain that I have to put my cat down because he is sick.

Hey, neighbour!
An attention grabber directed at my neighbor.

I may paint it blue
I might change the color of the drainpipe to blue.

Keeps me safe from you!
The half of the drainpipe belongs to me and it keeps me safe from my neighbor.

I'm a wobbly jelly, you're a pink blancmange
I am referring to myself as a wobbly jelly and you as a pink blancmange.

I'm a sherry trifle, you're a chocolate sponge
I am likening myself to a sherry trifle and you to a chocolate sponge.

Your dad wears a paper hat, mine inflates balloons
I tell you how your father and my father are different from each other.

Whoops! Boodly boop! Pop! Here comes a spoon!
A nonsensical line of words.

Separates me from the incredibly fascinating story of your life and every day to day event in all it's minute and tedious attention to detail... And was it a Thursday or a Wednesday? Or, oh, no, it wasn't though. Oh, who cares anyway because I do not so Norman, if you're normal, I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen incessant quotations from "Now We Are Six" through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head.
My half of the drainpipe keeps me from hearing about every mundane detail of my neighbor's life, and I want to be different from them. I will do things that may seem strange, and confuse them with bizarre things.