When I Was One
The C.R.S. Players Lyrics

When I was a kid I was innocent
During my childhood, I possessed a sense of purity and naivety.

But now life's different
Currently, life has undergone significant changes.

What happened when I was a kid
I am curious about the events that occurred during my childhood.

Time to dig the past up, I don't know what's left
Now is the moment to delve into the past, uncertain about what remnants remain.

Like a time capsule that I forget
Similar to a forgotten time capsule, there are aspects of my past that have slipped from memory.

But can't forget manhunt running from my friends
However, I cannot erase the memories of playing a game of manhunt, attempting to elude my friends.

Now life's a game of manhunt running from regret
At present, life resembles a game of manhunt, where I continually attempt to escape from the remorse I feel.

We'd play Grounders by the swing sets
We used to engage in a game called Grounders near the swing sets.

And road Hockey, always moving our net
We frequently played road hockey, constantly relocating our goal.

Or Mario Kart on the DS
Alternatively, we would spend time playing Mario Kart on the DS gaming console.

If you listen and relate, then put your foot in
If you can empathize and identify with my experiences, then engage and participate.

Ya, when I was a kid (playing truth or dare cuz)
Indeed, during my childhood, we often played the game of truth or dare.

Ya, When I was a kid (nah we didn't care much)
Yes, when I was a kid, we didn't have many concerns or worries.

When I was a kid (sky blue, sky blue)
During my childhood, the color of the sky appeared to be a vibrant blue.

Ya, When I was a kid (all out but you)
Yes, when I was a kid, I would give my full effort, but you did not reciprocate.

When I was a kid (with a crush at school)
During my childhood, I developed a romantic interest in someone at school.

And if I sit down with the kid that I was
If I were to have a conversation with my younger self,

Would he be proud of who he has become?
Would he have a sense of pride in the person he has grown into?

Or would he look down on me,
Or would he regard me with disappointment,

Seeing the untapped potential I have in me full of disgust?
Observing the wasted opportunities and unexplored capabilities within me, filled with disgust?

Dear Younger Chris, I wrote this because
My letter addresses my younger self, Chris, and I composed it for a specific reason.

I know that you're needing someone and you wanna feel loved,
I am aware of your need for companionship and longing to experience love.

I'll explain so you understand where you'll go wrong:
I will clarify and provide an understanding of the mistakes you will make.

One day you'll meet someone that you don't expect
At some point, you will encounter an individual who will surprise you.

Two friends from your school name her at recess
You will hear about her from two friends during recess at school.

Now, at about this time it's Winter, Grade 6
Around this period, it is winter, and you are in sixth grade.

You'll have an iPod, which is why you will text this girl just to get a response
Possessing an iPod will motivate you to send text messages to this girl in the hope of receiving a reply.

She gets you excited but never responds
Despite evoking excitement within you, she consistently fails to reply.

She makes you feel comfortable inside her arms
When you are in her embrace, you experience a sense of comfort and security.

But leaves you abandoned when life becomes hard
However, she abandons you when faced with challenging circumstances.

Still, you'll get curious cuz she is beautiful
Nevertheless, your curiosity will persist due to her physical attractiveness.

Now you wanna get to know her much more and so
As a result, you desire to form a deeper connection with her.

Then you'll go deeper and deeper and show your soul
Consequently, you will gradually expose more and more of your inner self.

This is the part where the story gets sour though
At this point, the narrative takes a turn for the worse.

She doesn't have a soul
Regrettably, she lacks a genuine and compassionate nature.

She takes off her veil and reveals that she's really a demon and this whole time she's been
Unexpectedly, she discards her facade and exposes her true demonic nature, deceiving you throughout.

Plotting and scheming to ruin your life and kill all of your freedom
She has been plotting and strategizing to destroy your life and rob you of your independence.

She pulls out a knife and she taunts you before she then stabs you a million times in the back
She brandishes a knife, taunting and provoking you, before mercilessly betraying you countless times.

And while there is blood pouring out of that hole in your chest, she'll seduce you and ask for you back
Amidst the blood flowing from the wound in your chest, she will allure and entice you, begging for your return.

And when you say no, she'll get vicious but vow to meet all of your wishes
Upon your refusal, she will turn spiteful but promise to fulfill all your desires.

She swears no rejection, she promises safety inside of a prison
She declares that you will never face rejection and assures security within a metaphorical prison.

But the only twist is no true love can get in
However, the ironic twist is that genuine love is unable to enter this confinement.

Chris, I'm sorry I'm noticing now
Chris, I apologize for realizing this just now.

When you meet Porn you'll be only a child
When you encounter pornography, you will still be a young and impressionable child.

11 years old, man I regret it now
At the age of eleven, I deeply regret the exposure to such content.

I'm sorry I'm just so damn mad at myself
I apologize, but I am incredibly angry with myself.

I wish you'd be happy, I wish you'd be free
I hope for your happiness and freedom, but unfortunately, it will not come to pass.

But sadly you won't and it's because of me
Tragically, your lack of happiness is my fault.

I failed you, I'm sorry, you gave me belief
I have let you down, and I am sorry for that. You placed your trust in me.

But I spat in your face, man I'm not who you dreamed you would grow up to be
Instead of living up to your vision of who I would become, I have disappointed you and betrayed your hopes.