With the release of the seminal Telemetry of a Fallen Angel (existing in a few incarnations prior to Dancing Ferret Discs' version in 1997), The Crüxshadows enjoyed their first defining moment courtesy of the infinitely catchy dance floor anthem "Marilyn My Bitterness." With additional strong releases including The Mystery of the Whisper (1999), Until the Voices Fade (1999) and Paradox Addendum (2000) backed by lengthy tours, The Crüxshadows were able to build a legion of diversified fans consisting of everything from jarheads to gamers to anime & role playing enthusiasts.
While the lineup has indeed changed over the years, one constant has remained the same; Rogue, the vocalist, leader and mastermind of The Crüxshadows has directed his troupe towards an unconventional and lofty goal. "I want to change the world with music, I want people to find hope within themselves. I want them to know that anything is possible if you believe and follow through. I think that music has the power to inspire and move people to do amazing things" he muses. He is not alone in his belief. Their fans seem to believe it too. The bands motto "live love be believe" is everywhere, and many of their supporters will tell you that the lyrics have changed their lives in some way. This isn't exactly typical for a band most often identified as gothic or dark-wave. The Crüxshadows are not concerned. "Goth isn't about being a stereotype" the front-man complains, "its about being who you want to be... about not running from yourself or your emotions." The charismatic singer/songwriter/producer understands an audience and tends to deliver his dramatic croon right in their laps. Nothing they do is exactly new, but how they do it is completely unique. The lyrics are deep and meaningful, the stage show is dynamic and entertaining, and the music is hooky and inspired by pop. But pop it is not. It is a hybrid music that exists in a place just left of everyday, and just right of never-ever.
The band has maintained a surprising consistency despite the personnel turnovers that have plagued it in recent years. Jessica Lackey, a singer/dancer who married Rogue in 2007, and keyboardist Jen Jawidzik, who was once Rogue and Jessica's roommate, have stuck with it for the better part of the last decade. "When we have to find someone new, I feel like sometimes they don't understand all the hard work that was necessary for us to get to that point" Jessica states flatly, "It is not difficult to under-appreciate everything the band has accomplished, so people move on because they have not invested the same energy into the project." While the shows and the music continues to get better, that magically 'permanent' combination of personalities has continued to elude them. The band has had a difficult time keeping guitar players and dancers in particular, but has seen turnover in almost every position. These days Crüxshadows has Rogue backed by a mostly female band of new wave latex clad gypsies, and boasts an original mix of violins, dancers, guitars, and electronics. Tight and well-practiced, the seven performers interact on stage with clockwork like precision. The audience is captivated. Some of them scream. Some of them sing along. A few others stare at the stage dumbfounded.
Although The Crüxshadows maintain a strong fan base in their native United States, their most perceptible success seems to be focused in Europe. It is not uncommon for the band to share stages with the likes of Ladytron, Prodigy, The Cure, or even Bjork. The 2002 Tears EP topped the Deutsche Alternative Charts for months, a practice that has continued with all subsequent releases soaring to the DAC's Top 10. "I don't think we're actually more popular there (In Europe)" says Rogue, "It just seems like there is more access to our fans. What we do has more acceptance by the powers that be. In America it feels like all of our victories are covered up or are unacknowledged by the media." 2002 also saw the release of their fifth full-length album Wishfire; a fan favorite that featured the Euro hit "Tears" and a number of other dark dance mainstays. Similarly the follow-up album Ethernaut (released in 2003) brought the band what has become one of its most notable tracks, the European club anthem entitled "Winterborn (This Sacrifice)."
Remixes and special versions of songs have kept there fans satiated when no new traditional album lay on the horizon. In 2004 Fortress In Flames was released featuring a cover by the popular American artist Chad Michael Ward. There The Crüxshadows' material was remixed by peers like the Dutch legends Clan of Xymox and German industrial giants In Strict Confidence. Each year has seen some new disc from the band, and they come in a variety of formats. The year 2005 witnessed the release of their first DVD Shadowbox. The DVD is highlighted by a 2004 performance before a rabid crowd of 15,000 at the Wave-Gotik-Treffen in Leipzig Germany, where the ‘call and response' raw energy the band delves out is served right back by an adoring audience.
In 2006 the band would seem to breakaway from their underground moniker. The addictive single "Sophia" impressively debuted on the Billboard Hot Dance Singles Sales Charts in September at position #1, replacing Beyoncé in the top spot while landing #7 on the Hot 100 Singles Sales Chart. "We couldn't believe it, doors began to open. It was as if we couldn't be ignored anymore, after a decade and a half we seemed to be getting some respect. The local news in Florida even put us on the nightly news to get our take on the whole thing", the frontman recalls. The following year was pivotal for The Crüxshadows; in May the band successfully toured China performing at the Midi Open-Air Festival in Beijing, in the presence of many thousands of new fans. Later that year the band released the highly anticipated Dreamcypher album that contained yet another Billboard #1 Dance Single with the song "Birthday." This time the band climbed into the #2 spot on the Hot 100 Singles Sales Chart. With Dreamcypher, The Crüxshadows melded their fondness for 1980s Synth Pop/New Romantic sounds with modern Euro dance nuances into perfection. Dreamcypher joins the aforementioned shimmering "Sophia" and "Birthday" with the guitar fronted "Defender" and the majestic sounding "Eye of the Storm." The infectious disc would become The Crüxshadows' best selling album to date both in the United States and abroad.
The following year witnessed another single marching up the Billboard charts. "Immortal" continued the bands musical string of hits, despite the loss of violinist Rachel McDonnell. David Wood and JoHanna Moresco stepped in as an electric violining duo who not only safe-guarded the signature instrument of the band, but expanded it by way of rich layering and counterpoint melodies impossible in previous years. 2008 also saw the band's label Dancing Ferret Discs, withdraw from actively releasing new material. This left the band to deal with a large number of new and unforeseen issues, and delayed their plans to release a new full length album.
While The Crüxshadows spent most of 2009 touring in Europe, the band still managed to release yet another successful Billboard charting single in America. "Quicksilver" debuted just in time for their annual appearance at Atlanta's famed Dragon*Con Convention before an impressive capacity crowd of several thousand of their most loyal fans. "I think the new single, and really the most recent releases in general, are our most polished and well written work" says Rogue, "but there are still those in the scene, and in the business in general, that just think the whole thing is just dumb luck." The single was the first release from Wishfire Records, a new label founded by the band, and eventually reached #1 on The Billboard Hot Dance Singles Sales Charts and #2 on The Billboard Hot 100 Singles Sales Charts. Seemingly too pop for many critics and too underground for the industry, the band has apparently found the perfect balance for the people who matter the most to them; their fans.
The Crüxshadows have played by their own rules, and who is to say in a world of declining sales and illegal internet downloads that they haven't gotten the balance right. Time will tell. For now, The Crüxshadows continue to defy as well as define the odds, and their dark yet positive machine continues to roll.
INSOMNIA
The Crüxshadows Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
The room is different the walls dissolve
Replaced by sky
Horizon blackening twilight
Beckoning
As the clouds are stretching wide
Little holes
That light is clawing to get through
With the shadows
That are drifting on the ceiling as you move
Are you awake?
Sour thoughts are dancing now
All around your head
Shoulders shake chattering teeth
The cold wind rips the covers from
Your bed
The apparition
The eyes are digging
Heart is pounding
Eyelids will not close
Your voice is failing
The scream derailing
And she stands so near to you
And nothings sweeter than the songs you're
Seeing
Begging for the colder hand she hides
Floating
Flowing
Her soul is hunting
Glimmer
Shimmer
White lights breaking
And fluid cries
She's reaching
Screeching
Imploring
Seething
And the haunting
Hurting
Spilling
No-one knows
A kiss-like smile that leaves you beguiled
Fading darkness and the whisper of a ghost
The Cruxshadows's song "Insomnia" is a hauntingly beautiful representation of the difficulties one faces when suffering from insomnia. The song takes the listener on an ethereal journey through the mind of someone who cannot sleep. The lyrics describe the feeling of being trapped in a room, as the walls dissolve to be replaced by the vast expanse of the sky. The twilight sky is both alluring and haunting, with little holes of light clawing their way through the clouds.
As the song progresses, feelings of hope are quickly extinguished by the shadows that drift on the ceiling as though alive. The singer of the song begins to question whether they are really awake or not. This is evidenced by the anxiety they feel as sour thoughts dance around their head while their teeth chatter and their shoulders shake from cold. Suddenly, an apparition appears, and with it comes an overwhelming feeling of fear and panic.
The apparition is described as having white lights breaking and fluid cries, seeming to be both reaching and screeching. The ghostly figure is imploring the singer of the song to do something, though it is not entirely clear what that may be. The song ends with a kiss-like smile that leaves the singer beguiled as the darkness fades away.
Line by Line Meaning
You're lying awake
You are unable to sleep and are awake.
The room is different the walls dissolve
You feel disoriented as if the walls of the room are dissolving and everything around you is changing.
Replaced by sky
The walls of your room have been replaced by the sky.
Horizon blackening twilight
It is getting dark and the sky is turning black.
Beckoning
The darkness is calling you.
As the clouds are stretching wide
Clouds are moving and spreading wide in the sky.
Little holes
Small openings in the clouds.
That light is clawing to get through
The light is trying to break through the clouds.
But hope is shifting
Your hope is diminishing.
With the shadows
Your hope is being replaced by shadows.
That are drifting on the ceiling as you move
The shadows are moving on the ceiling as you move.
Are you awake?
The uncertainty of whether you are dreaming or awake.
Sour thoughts are dancing now
Negative and unpleasant thoughts are circulating in your mind.
All around your head
These thoughts are all over your mind.
Shoulders shake chattering teeth
You are shivering and your teeth are chattering.
The cold wind rips the covers from
The wind blows your covers away from you.
Your bed
Your bed is where you are sleeping.
The apparition
A ghostly image or a figment of your imagination.
The eyes are digging
The eyes of the apparition are staring intently at you.
Heart is pounding
Your heart is racing with fear.
Eyelids will not close
You are unable to close your eyes despite being scared.
Your voice is failing
You are unable to scream or cry out.
The scream derailing
The scream that you want to let out is being disrupted.
And she stands so near to you
The apparition is standing close to you.
And nothings sweeter than the songs you're
You are hearing sweet songs in your head.
Seeing
Perhaps you are hallucinating these songs.
Begging for the colder hand she hides
You want the cold hand of the apparition to comfort you.
Floating
The apparition is floating in the air.
Flowing
The apparition has a smooth flowy motion.
Her soul is hunting
The apparition is searching for your soul.
Glimmer
The apparition has a faint shining light.
Shimmer
The apparition has a slight flicker of light.
White lights breaking
Bright white lights are flashing around you.
And fluid cries
You are crying fast and frequently.
She's reaching
The apparition is trying to reach you.
Screeching
The apparition is giving a loud, sharp cry.
Imploring
The apparition is making an urgent and emotional appeal.
Seething
The apparition is filled with intense anger.
And the haunting
The feeling of being haunted.
Hurting
You are emotionally hurt by this experience.
Spilling
Your emotions are overflowing or spilling out.
No-one knows
No one else knows what you are feeling or experiencing.
A kiss-like smile that leaves you beguiled
The apparition has a smile that is both seductive and scary.
Fading darkness and the whisper of a ghost
The darkness is fading away and you hear a faint whisper, like that of a ghost.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: MARIJNE ELLEN VAN DER VLUGT, PAUL KENNEDY, PETER CHARLES BROWN, ROB WAKEMAN
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind