1. The F… Read Full Bio ↴There have been several band that recorded as The Frantics.
1. The Frantics were a 1990s punk band from South Carolina. They had several 7-inch records and appearances on compilation albums. Also released two full length albums before their break-up in 2000. The Frantics toured and/or played shows with bands like AFI, Bouncing Souls, FYP, and Blanks 77. Band members consisted of: Kevin McSwain (vocal/guitar), Anthony Price (bass/vocals), Timmy Campbell (guitar/vocals), Todd Hooks (1st Drummer: 1994 - 1998), Drew Perry (1998 - 2000).
In 2005, the band got back together for one last performance at a benefit concert for the ailing club owner who booked them in their heyday.
A year later three members (Kevin, Anthony, and Drew) went on to form The Black Kites, who performed a more stripped-down rock sound. They released a four song EP and played shows for nearly two years, ending in 2008.
2. The Frantics were a Seattle based rock and roll / instrumental group that was active between 1956 and 1966. They started out as The Four Frantics in 1955 when guitarist Ron Peterson and accordionist Chuck Schoning started playing together in the seventh grade. After they added a drummer, bassist and sax player to the ensemble, they began performing at teen dances; before long, they were opening shows for national touring acts throughout the Pacific Northwest.
The band signed a recording contract with Seattle-based Dolton Records and their first hit was a tune called ‘Straight Flush’, which entered the charts in 1959. The band’s finest artistic moment came a year later when they recorded ‘Werewolf’, an offbeat soundscape that opens with a bit of dialogue from Lon Chaney Jr’s film The Wolf Man (1941).
The band's line-up was Jim Manolides, Don Fulton, Ron Petersen, Chuck Schoning, Bob Hosko and Geno Landis.
3. The Frantics were a Canadian comedy quartet from the 1980s, recently reunited, consisting of Rick Green, Dan Redican, Paul Chato and Peter Wildman. They had a weekly comedy show on CBC radio, and a short-lived TV show called "Four On The Floor".
4. The Frantics are four lads from the west coast of Scotland, brought together by the music. Since they formed, the chemistry has flown. Tunes wrote with an inspiration of the rock n roll scene, Made up of Bradley Waite (Vocals + Lead guitar) Calum Bennett (Guitar) Matthew New (Bass) and Blair Gilmour (Drums + Backing Vocals).
Worshippers 'R' Us
The Frantics Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
(praying)
Oh large person or persons of whatever gender
Or branch of the animal kingdom
Who did something great
And is now someplace where we aren't
Please forgive us for whatever you deem bad
And help us to do whatever strikes you as good
Whether that be to work hard, eat no pork, or wage a holy war
Grant us whatever you tend to grant
Unless you don't interfere with earthly concerns
Watch over us
Or save us from evil
Or let us find out for ourselves
Or damn us randomly
Amen, praise Allah, have a nice day...
Preacher: May the being, as you define Him, Her, or It be with you.
Congregation: And also with you.
Preacher: Let us give thanks for (a) divine intervention, or (b) divine abstention.
Congregation: It is right to give Him or Her thanks and praise.
Preacher: May peace dwell here amongst us... and keep us free from WAR!
Congregation: [sort of unison grunt] Uh!
Preacher: WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?!
Congregation: Absolutely nothing.
Preacher: SAY IT AGAIN!
Brothers and sisters... Last Thursday, during our annual Baptist jihad/barbecue, I was flipping the meatless kosher hydroponically-grown food product on the grill, when a stranger approached me. He asked me, "Why bother? Why bother trying to organise a religion which synthesises all faiths and beliefs? Why bother organising weekly prayer/fiesta/sword dances?" Why bother?
But then, I hearkened back to the origin of all our religions, of all our faiths, and I gave unto him the answer; the answer that has sustained all religions can also sustain us. Why bother?
Just 'cause!
Now before we christen the babies, walk over burning coals, form a human pyramid, and proceed out to the street corners to chant for spare change, I'd like to make a few announcements! Next Sunday is young Mazimoro Kyoto's bar mitzvah/confirmation. We'll be down at the river at sunset, dunking him in the waters, circumcising him with a stick, and chopping off his hands for stealing. So, come on down and wish him well. There will be self-flagellation and coffee served in the Friendship Room afterwards.
Mrs. Edmonds?
(hymn)
Some think he's a rock
Or a big cosmic clock
Some think he's a bug who just hovered
Some think he's a bird
An idea or a turd
But at least we've got our asses covered
Amen, praise Allah, have a nice day...
The Frantics's song Worshippers 'R' Us is a satirical commentary on organised religion and its various traditions and rituals. The lyrics mock the generic nature of prayer books and the idea of a one-size-fits-all religion that can synthesise all faiths and beliefs. The preacher's prayer is a humorous take on the common phrases used in religious prayer and the contradictory requests made to a higher power. The preacher's response to the stranger's question of "Why bother?" is also a tongue-in-cheek reference to the origin of religion and the fact that people follow it just because it's there.
The song also takes jabs at specific religious practices, such as the Baptist jihad/barbecue and the ceremony for young Mazimoro Kyoto's bar mitzvah/confirmation. The announcement of chopping off someone's hands for stealing is an exaggerated take on traditional punishments, as is the mention of self-flagellation. The hymn at the end pokes fun at the various beliefs about what God looks like or represents, suggesting that at least everyone can agree on the need to cover all bases.
Line by Line Meaning
Oh large person or persons of whatever gender
Addressing the higher power that they believe in or something/someone unknown that has great power.
Or branch of the animal kingdom
The higher power might even be an animal or related to it.
Who did something great
Acknowledging the power of the higher power that has done something impactful/great.
And is now someplace where we aren't
The higher power is believed to be somewhere away from them.
Please forgive us for whatever you deem bad
Asking for forgiveness from the higher power for anything considered bad.
And help us to do whatever strikes you as good
Requesting assistance from the higher power in doing things considered good by them.
Whether that be to work hard, eat no pork, or wage a holy war
Providing examples of things that the higher power might consider good.
Grant us whatever you tend to grant
Asking the higher power for whatever they usually give or help with.
Unless you don't interfere with earthly concerns
Asking for the higher power's help only if it doesn't interfere with their worldly problems.
Watch over us
Asking the higher power for protection.
Or save us from evil
Asking the higher power to save them from evil.
Or let us find out for ourselves
Giving the higher power the option to let them handle things themselves.
Or damn us randomly
Giving the higher power the right to do whatever they want with them.
Amen, praise Allah, have a nice day...
Ending the prayer with Amen and wishing everyone a nice day while acknowledging Allah.
May the being, as you define Him, Her, or It be with you.
Wishing that the higher power be with them in whatever they believe in.
And also with you.
Same as above, wishing that the higher power be with them.
Let us give thanks for (a) divine intervention, or (b) divine abstention.
Thanking the higher power either for intervening or not intervening.
It is right to give Him or Her thanks and praise.
Acknowledging that it is right to thank and praise the higher power because of its greatness.
May peace dwell here amongst us... and keep us free from WAR!
Wishing for peace among them and anyone else while mentioning the need to avoid war.
[sort of unison grunt] Uh!
Expressing the congregation's response of agreement to the wish for peace.
WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?!
Questioning the reason for a particular thing, namely war.
Absolutely nothing.
Stating that war is not good for anything.
SAY IT AGAIN!
Encouraging everyone else to say it again.
Brothers and sisters... Last Thursday, during our annual Baptist jihad/barbecue, I was flipping the meatless kosher hydroponically-grown food product on the grill, when a stranger approached me. He asked me, "Why bother? Why bother trying to organise a religion which synthesises all faiths and beliefs? Why bother organising weekly prayer/fiesta/sword dances?" Why bother?
Recalling an experience when someone questioned their beliefs and practices and wondered why they even bothered trying to bring different religions and beliefs together.
But then, I hearkened back to the origin of all our religions, of all our faiths, and I gave unto him the answer; the answer that has sustained all religions can also sustain us. Why bother?
Reminiscing about how all religions and beliefs had a purpose and reminding the congregation that the answer to the question 'why bother' is simply, just because.
Now before we christen the babies, walk over burning coals, form a human pyramid, and proceed out to the street corners to chant for spare change, I'd like to make a few announcements! Next Sunday is young Mazimoro Kyoto's bar mitzvah/confirmation. We'll be down at the river at sunset, dunking him in the waters, circumcising him with a stick, and chopping off his hands for stealing. So, come on down and wish him well. There will be self-flagellation and coffee served in the Friendship Room afterwards.
Giving some announcements to the congregation to attend a ceremony next Sunday wherein they will do some practices, including rituals for a boy becoming a man/confirmation and oddly, cutting off his hands for stealing.
Some think he's a rock
Speculating or imagining what the higher power may be, such as being compared to a rock.
Or a big cosmic clock
Speculating or imagining what the higher power may be, such as being compared to a big cosmic clock.
Some think he's a bug who just hovered
Speculating or imagining what the higher power may be, such as being compared to a bug that just hovered.
Some think he's a bird
Speculating or imagining what the higher power may be, such as being compared to a bird.
An idea or a turd
Speculating or imagining what the higher power may be, such as being compared to an idea or a turd.
But at least we've got our asses covered
Acknowledging that they might not know who/what the higher power is like, but they have their own perception and beliefs.
Amen, praise Allah, have a nice day...
Closing the hymn with Amen, praising Allah, and wishing everyone a nice day.
Contributed by Makayla O. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@theresapaininmybrain
These guys were way ahead of their time. Still funny 20 - something years later.
@luthe25
Amen...praise Ala...have a nice day...
@paulmadryga
Damn, but I miss these guys.
@stone1andonly
When he's about to give the answer as to "why" he/they do what they do in their church, I was just so sure for a second that the response would be, "Boot to the head!" (Which, if you think about it, has been the approach of a few religions!)
@NeosimianSapiens
Umm, isn't this how the Church of England works, basically?
@waterbuoyish
I remember this CBC comedy from the 80s and have misplaced the CASSETTE on which I had it. Thankyou, to whomever, for digging this up. My plan is to use the prayer for grace some night with my evengelical/creationist US inlaws. (who have a sense of humour about most things... this will be revealing)
@gammoregan
there most definetly WILL be self flagellation and coffee served in the friendship room afterwards, you can be sure of that.
@wallersmooth
I'm gonna name my rock band Baptist Jihad Barbecue!
@michaeldsteiner1387
sounds like my Episcopal service to me.....really
@DonaldHolben
lmao!!