The Devil in My Bloodstream
The Wonder Years Lyrics

We wiped out all the Buffalo
Humans have caused a lot of destruction around the turn of last century, wiping out the buffalo herds.

Around the turn of the last century,
Referring to the early 1900s when a lot of industrial and economic changes were happening rapidly.

And so it's factories and sawgrass,
Amidst all the changes, factories emerged with fields cleared of buffalo, now growing sawgrass instead of natural grass.

Wheat fields and asphalt laid in front of me.
The effects of industrialization are such that we see vast wheat fields as well as roads made of asphalt.

The Midwest feels like a hollow place
The place feels empty and meaningless.

That we filled with love and industry.
However, we tried to fill this emptiness with love and industry.

And we're staring at the frozen ground in Goodwill suits,
In a moment of loss for someone close, we are all staring at the ground in profound sadness, gathered in our Goodwill suits.

Silent as the pastor reads the eulogy.
The pastor reads the eulogy, and we all remain quiet, thinking about the life that has passed on.

Well I wanted to see just a little bit of everything, let me be.
The artist wants to experience everything life has to offer before it passes, before arriving at a stage of sadness and regret.

Two blackbirds on a highway sign
The artist noticed a couple of blackbirds standing on a sign on the highway.

Are laughing at me at four in the morning.
At 4 a.m., the birds seemed to made fun of the singer as if mocking his existence.

They played the war drum out of time
The blackbirds seem to mimic the beating sound of a war drum in an out-of-sync, erratic manner.

So I'm not sure where I've been marching.
The singer is confused, unsure where he's been taking himself all this while.

I wanna be strong, but it's not easy anymore.
The singer desires to be a strong, courageous person but it is becoming increasingly difficult to do so.

I'm hoping I'm wrong.
Although doubtful, the singer is still keeping his hopes up that what he thinks of himself is wrong.

It's sixteen hours straight to home
It takes about 16 hours to travel straight to his home.

From the heart of North Missouri,
The artist is in the center of northern Missouri.

And so I searched through my great-grandpop's memoirs
In search of more meaning, the singer turns to his great-grandfather's memoirs.

For the devil in my bloodstream.
Partly to make sense of his existence, the singer aggressively examines the notes of his great-grandfather in hopes of finding connections to himself, understanding of his identity.

Depression grabbed his throat
His great-grandfather faced depression and mental illness.

And choked the life out of him slowly.
That mental illness took over his life and eventually took his life slowly but painfully.

I've got the same blood coursing through my veins
The artist realizes he shares the same genetics as his great-grandfather, leading to the rational fear that he might experience the same fate.

And it'll come for me eventually.
It is almost certain that the singer would face similar mental struggles as his great-grandfather at some point in life.

I bet I'd never have the guts for war,
The artist is doubtful he will have the courage to go to war even if he were called to do so.

'Cause I can't spend another month away from here.
He believes he cannot afford to spend one more month away from home as he feels rather lost without his home base.

These frantic rest stop phone calls don't get answered anymore.
The singer feels anxious and lonely and has had failed attempts in trying to communicate with friends/family.

But I, I wanted to know if I could please come home.
He finally reaches out, pleading just to come back home.

I know how it feels to be
The artist confidently states that he understands the pain others feel as well.

At war with a world
The world exhibiting its tough, imposing nature compels us to battle it most of the time.

That never loved me.
Some people feel that the world does not love them, and the singer could empathize with such sentiments.

I wanna be strong,
In life, it's common for us to crave strength.

But it's not easy anymore.
As we grow older, holding on to that strength and courage becomes increasingly difficult.

I'm hoping I'm wrong.
Despite feeling incapable, having doubts, and feeling weak, the artist still hopes he's wrong about himself.

I'm hoping I'm wrong.
The artist's desire to believe that he is stronger than what he thinks, but also wanting to be vulnerable and asking for help.