Her psych folk with guitars, dobr… Read Full Bio ↴Tia Blake recorded only one album.
Her psych folk with guitars, dobro, flute and vocals was recorded at the Ossian Studio in Paris in 1971 and released that same year by the tiny French label SFP (Societe Francaise de Productions Phonographiques).
Plastic Jesus
Tia Blake Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.
{Refrain}
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.
I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car,
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant,
Take Him with you when you're travelling far
{Refrain}
I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I have magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply
I've got the whole damn Holy Family
Riding on the dashboard of my car
{Refrain}
You can buy a Sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell
{Refrain}
I don't care if it bumps or jostles
Long as I got the Twelve Apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Don't I have a pious mess
Such a crowd of holiness
Strung across the dashboard of my car
{Refrain}
No, I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I think he'll have to go
His magnet ruins my radio
And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar
{Refrain}
Riding through the thoroughfare
With his nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, he don't see
He just keeps his eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behind
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps him up to par
When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who's boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run them down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far
When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say Damn
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar
God made Christ a Holy Jew
God made Him a Christian too
Paradoxes populate my car
Joseph beams with a feigned elan
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
Famous cuckold in the master plan
Naughty Mary, smug and smiling
Jesus dainty and beguiling
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
His message clear by night or day
My phosphorescent plastic Gay
Simpering from the dashboard of my van
When I'm goin' fornicatin
I got my ceramic Satan
Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
The women know I'm on the level
Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Leering from the dashboard of my van
If I weave around at night
And the police think I'm tight
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar
The song "Plastic Jesus" by Tia Blake is a satirical take on the commercialization and trivialization of religion. The singer of the song is an irreverent person who has a plastic Jesus glued to the dashboard of their car. The lyrics express a sense of detachment from the true purpose of Christianity and spirituality, as the person in the song seems to rely on their plastic Jesus for protection and guidance more than anything else. The plastic Jesus is portrayed as a cheap and easy replacement for a real devotion to God.
The refrain, "Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car," is repeated throughout the song and emphasizes the idolization of objects over genuine faith. The singer sees their various religious figurines (magnetic Mary, Sweet Madonna, and the Twelve Apostles) as simply "strung across the dashboard" without any appreciation or understanding of their meaning.
The song is a commentary on the commercial nature of religion and the tendency to prioritize material objects over true spirituality. The use of satire highlights the ridiculousness of believing that a plastic figurine can bring about faith or inner peace, revealing a lack of true devotion in the person who relies on such objects.
Line by Line Meaning
Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
No matter the weather condition, I am not bothered
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
As long as I have my plastic Jesus with me
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Sitting on the car dashboard as I drive
Through all trials and tribulations,
Through every challenge that comes our way
We will travel every nation,
We will journey to every country
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.
My plastic Jesus will take me to many places
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Referring to the plastic figurine of Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car,
Stuck on the dashboard of my car with glue
You can buy Him phosphorescent
It is also available in a phosphorescent material
Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant,
It glows in the dark and has a pink color that's pleasing to the eye
Take Him with you when you're travelling far
Carry Him along when traveling to distant locations
I don't care if it's dark or scary
I am not worried if it is dark or scary outside
Long as I have magnetic Mary
As long as I have the magnetic Mary figure
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
Also sitting on the car dashboard
I feel I'm protected amply
I am convinced that I have sufficient protection
I've got the whole damn Holy Family
I have the entire Holy Family members with me
Riding on the dashboard of my car
All sitting on the dashboard of my car
You can buy a Sweet Madonna
You can also purchase a figurine of Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Adorned with rhinestones and sitting on
Pedestal of abalone shell
A decorative piece made from an abalone shell
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
Even when traveling at an intense speed, I am not afraid
Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
Because I have my Virgin Mary figurine
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell
Convinced that Mary will ensure I do not go to Hell
I don't care if it bumps or jostles
I am not afraid of bumps or jostles while driving
Long as I got the Twelve Apostles
As long as I have figurines of the Twelve Apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Attached to the dashboard with bolts
Don't I have a pious mess
Isn't it a chaotic display of faith?
Such a crowd of holiness
So many holy figures
Strung across the dashboard of my car
All suspended across my car dashboard
But I think he'll have to go
However, I think I will have to take the plastic Jesus figure off
His magnet ruins my radio
As the magnet he has under his base disrupts the radio signal
And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar
If I have a car crash, he will leave a mark
Riding through the thoroughfare
Driving through the street
With his nose up in the air
With his head upwardly raised
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Even if there is the possibility of a car accident, he is unperturbed
Trouble coming, he don't see
He is oblivious to incoming trouble
He just keeps his eyes on me
He only focuses on me, the driver
And any other thing that lies behind
And anything else situated behind him
When pedestrians try to cross
When people walking try to cross the road
I let them know who's boss
I assert my superiority over them, communicating who is in charge
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I do not show them respect by honking or warning
I ride all over town
I drive across the whole city
Trying to run them down
Intentionally attempting to hit them with my car
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning
It's rare for them to be alive the next day after trying to cross my path
His halo fits just right
The halo of the plastic Jesus fits as expected
And I use it as a sight
I use it as a reference point
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far
People will either run away or be hit and scattered all around by the car
When I'm in a traffic jam
When I find myself stuck in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say Damn
The plastic Jesus figure is indifferent to me swearing
I can let all sorts of curses roll
I can continuously swear without caring or getting reprimanded
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
The plastic Jesus does not have the ability to listen and comprehend
For he has a plastic ear
He has an ear made from plastic material, which doesn't allow for actual hearing
The man who invented plastic saved my soul
The person who created plastic helped save my soul (life)
Once his robe was snowy white
The plastic Jesus figurine's robe was initially white as snow
Now it isn't quite so bright
The robe now isn't as white or bright as before
Stained by the smoke of my cigar
Discolored due to the smoke from my cigar
God made Christ a Holy Jew
God created Jesus as a holy Jewish figure
God made Him a Christian too
God also created Jesus as a Christian savior figure
Paradoxes populate my car
My car is full of many contradictory things
Joseph beams with a feigned elan
Joseph (Mary's husband) smiles with a fake enthusiasm
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
From the shaggy dashboard of my luxurious van
Famous cuckold in the master plan
Joseph is infamous for being the cuckold (husband of an adulterous wife) depicted in God's plan
Naughty Mary, smug and smiling
Mary is depicted in a provocative manner, with an arrogant and self-satisfied smile
Jesus dainty and beguiling
Jesus is portrayed as delicate and charming
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
Jesus and Mary are partially buried in the clutter inside my van
His message clear by night or day
The message Jesus conveys is clear during any time of day
My phosphorescent plastic Gay
My phosphorescent plastic figurine of a gay person
Simpering from the dashboard of my van
Looking silly, and sitting on my dashboard
When I'm goin' fornicatin
When I'm going to engage in sexual promiscuity
I got my ceramic Satan
I have my Satan figurine made from ceramic material
Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Sitting on the dashboard of my recreational vehicle as I'm sinning
The women know I'm on the level
Women are aware of my truthful intentions
Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Also sitting on the dashboard
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Looking derisively from the dashboard
Leering from the dashboard of my van
Looking at people in an evil way from the dashboard of my van
If I weave around at night
If I'm driving recklessly at night
And the police think I'm tight
And the police suspect I'm drunk
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
Even if they ask, they will never find the bottle containing alcohol
Plastic Jesus shelters me
Plastic Jesus protects me
For His head comes off, you see
Because the head of the figurine comes off
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask
The figurine is empty inside, and I use it as a flask
Ride with me and have a dram
Join me and have a drink
Of the blood of the Lamb
A reference to drinking symbolic blood from Jesus Christ
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar
Plastic Jesus is seen as a sacred vessel
Contributed by Kayla R. Suggest a correction in the comments below.