Confessions
Tim Minchin Lyrics

I believe that women have the right
I believe women should have certain basic freedoms

To walk the streets at night
To walk without being afraid of being attacked

And not be afraid for their lives
To feel safe from harm

And I believe a woman has the right
I believe women should have the freedom to make certain choices

To choose what happens to her body
To decide what happens during pregnancy or with contraception

Without suffering the judgement
Without being criticized or judged

Of the conservative right
Of those who don't support these freedoms

And I believe a woman has the right
I believe women should have certain clothing freedoms

To wear the clothes she likes
To dress how she wants

Without being treated like dirt
Without being maligned or made to feel bad

And I think we men are pathetic
I think men are foolish and weak in certain ways

How we seem to judge aesthetic
How we value appearance above other qualities

As the measure of a woman's worth
As the only important factor in evaluating a woman's merit

I'm ashamed on behalf of my sex
I feel embarrassed for men as a group

For making women feel like objects
For treating women as if they are things or possessions

Fuck I love boobs though
I have strong feelings of affection for breasts

I just really love them
I feel a strong emotional attachment to them

I just want to rub them
I desire to touch or fondle them in a sensual way

They're just so jooby
They have a certain pleasant quality about them

They make me feel groovy
They give me a feeling of happiness or wellbeing

I would rather watch boobs than a movie
I have a strong preference for looking at breasts over other forms of entertainment

Ba doop-e-do
A meaningless phrase used for rhythmic effect

I just really love boobs
I have a deep affection for breasts that I feel compelled to express

I believe the people are entitled
I believe that everyone should have certain rights

To basic human rights
To certain freedoms and protections inherent in human life

Whether they're rich or they're poor
Regardless of their financial situation

And I believe a world where no children are starving
I believe it would be ideal for there to be no instances of child starvation

Is a world worth fighting for
It would be a better world to live in

And I try to remind myself
I make an effort to remember

Even when I'm struggling
Even when things are difficult for me

How incredibly lucky I am
How fortunate I am compared to many others

And I don't think it's okay
I believe it is unacceptable

That the luxuries I crave
The things I want but don't necessarily need

Should come at the expense of my fellow man
Should harm or negatively impact other people

I'm sure I could do a little more
I could take actions to help others more than I currently do

To alleviate the suffering of the poor
To help those who are experiencing hardship or poverty

I just really love boobs
I feel a deep sense of affection for breasts that I can't help expressing

I don't really mind if
It doesn't matter to me

I am behind, below, or above them
Different positions or arrangements of breasts don't change my feelings regarding them

They're just so jubbly
They have an appealing quality that I find difficult to explain

They make me feel lovely
They give me a feeling of happiness or pleasure

I would rather own boobs than a pub
I would prefer to have access to breasts than to own or operate a pub business

Ba doop-e-doop de do
Another meaningless phrase used for rhythmic effect

I believe the planet that we live in
I believe we have a responsibility to the earth and its health

Is a living organism
The earth is a system with its own unique properties and traits

And we must treat her carefully
We need to be mindful of how our actions and choices impact the environment

I don't think we should assume
We should not make presumptions without evidence

We can go on consuming
We can continue using up resources at our current rate

Her resources indefinitely
Without ever running out or depleting them

The world's not a bottomless pit
There are limits to how much we can use or consume

And we can all do our little bit
We can each make small, positive changes to help the earth and its sustainability

Evolutionary theory says bosoms
A scientific explanation for the appearance and development of breasts

Are buttocks like protrusions
That breasts evolved to resemble similar distinctly human characteristics

Designed to tempt men
Nature or evolution favored this kind of development to produce a reproductive advantage

In situations when they can't get a glimpse of your bum
When a man is unable to see a woman's posterior region

I find such hypotheses dumb
I think such ideas are poorly thought-out

It's like the one that says
It's similar to another idea I find implausible

Lipstick is for making your lips look more
A possibly false belief held by some people about the purpose of lipstick

Like the lips of a happy vagina
That lipstick was developed to replicate the appearance of female genitalia

Since they said that I can't
This idea has had an unintended consequence that affects me personally

Look my great aunt in the eye
I feel embarrassed or uncomfortable in front of certain people because of this idea

Why'd they have to say that, oh why?
I question the reasoning behind spreading or believing such notions

From the first little suck of colostrum
From the earliest feeding of milk after birth

To the grope of the nurse in the old people's hostel
To other instances of physical contact and intimacy along the course of human life

We're just fucking monkeys in shoes
Humans are still fundamentally primitive creatures, despite modern advancements

And I will always love boobs
My feelings for breasts are deeply ingrained and unlikely to change

I will always love boobs
Breasts are a source of pleasure and happiness for me that will endure