Balboa
Toluca Lake Lyrics

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I don't know if I believe what you wrote
Half-hearted farewells and failed attempts to cope
I don't know if I've been sober, I've spent time alone
Drunk enough to say that this is when I've felt a ghost

I never meant to cut your throat
I only meant to cut the rope

Tried to get what I thought I desired
Spending years apart until we both got tired
Of waiting, of hating, but you were not the right mistake to make
And I am just a life to take

I've been running faster lately from things I can't escape
I can't stop myself from wishing I threw my promises away
A few weak words with perfect chemistry that never seemed to break
Only bond your expectations of me and all my past mistakes

Just the wrong way to try
I did my best to realize
And maybe I've been blind
But at least you know I tried looking up at the light

I never meant to cut your throat
I only meant to cut the rope

I've been running faster lately from things I can't escape
I can't stop myself from wishing I threw my promises away
A few weak words with perfect chemistry that never seemed to break
Only bond your expectations of me and all my past mistakes

All my past mistakes
Everything you hate

All my past mistakes
Everything we faked

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Toluca Lake's song "Balboa" convey a sense of regret, confusion, and longing for escape. The opening lines suggest that the singer is skeptical about the sincerity of someone's words or actions. They question whether they have been truly sober and have spent enough time alone to discern the presence of a "ghost," possibly referring to the lingering emotions or memories of a past relationship.

The chorus, "I never meant to cut your throat, I only meant to cut the rope," metaphorically expresses the singer's intention to gently let go or end a connection rather than causing harm or ending things abruptly. It could be seen as a metaphor for trying to make a difficult decision without causing unnecessary pain.

The second paragraph delves into the failed attempts to attain what the singer believed they desired. They mention spending years apart, hoping that time would bring clarity or resolution. However, both parties ultimately grew tired of waiting and hating each other, realizing that the other person was not the right mistake to make. The line "And I am just a life to take" suggests a feeling of insignificance or expendability in the relationship.

The third paragraph reveals the singer's recent efforts to run away from things they cannot escape, possibly referencing unresolved emotions or the consequences of their actions. They contemplate the idea of discarding their promises, feeling trapped by them. The mention of "perfect chemistry that never seemed to break" suggests that despite difficulties, there was a strong bond between the singer and the other person based on shared expectations and past mistakes.

The final repetition of "All my past mistakes, everything you hate, everything we faked" reflects the concept of acknowledging and accepting responsibility for the errors made in the relationship. It also alludes to the idea that the relationship had an element of pretense or unauthenticity, which possibly contributed to its demise.

Overall, "Balboa" explores themes of disillusionment, self-reflection, and the complexities of human relationships, highlighting the honest attempts and shortcomings that come with navigating emotions and making difficult decisions.

Line by Line Meaning

I don't know if I believe what you wrote
I am unsure if I trust the words you have written

Half-hearted farewells and failed attempts to cope
Our goodbyes lacked sincerity and our efforts to deal with the situation were unsuccessful

I don't know if I've been sober, I've spent time alone
I am uncertain if I have been clear-headed, as I have been isolating myself

Drunk enough to say that this is when I've felt a ghost
In a state of intoxication, I claim to have experienced a haunting presence

I never meant to cut your throat
My intention was not to harm you deeply

I only meant to cut the rope
I simply wanted to sever the ties between us

Tried to get what I thought I desired
I made an attempt to attain what I believed I wanted

Spending years apart until we both got tired
We spent a significant amount of time apart until both of us became weary

Of waiting, of hating, but you were not the right mistake to make
We grew tired of waiting and resenting, but I realize that you were not the correct choice to make a mistake with

And I am just a life to take
I am merely a person that can be discarded or taken advantage of

I've been running faster lately from things I can't escape
Recently, I have been trying to flee from things that I cannot evade

I can't stop myself from wishing I threw my promises away
I constantly find myself longing to break the commitments I have made

A few weak words with perfect chemistry that never seemed to break
Despite their fragility, some words we exchanged had an undeniable connection that remained intact

Only bond your expectations of me and all my past mistakes
Those words only strengthen the expectations you have of me and remind you of all the errors I have made in the past

Just the wrong way to try
My approach was simply incorrect

I did my best to realize
I made every effort to understand

And maybe I've been blind
Perhaps I have been oblivious

But at least you know I tried looking up at the light
Nevertheless, you are aware that I made an effort to seek hope and positivity

All my past mistakes
Every error I have made in the past

Everything you hate
Everything about me that you despise

Everything we faked
All the pretense and deception in our relationship

Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid
Written by: Toluca Lake

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

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