”It’s about never wanting marriage, not wanting children, and not feeling like that’s a life that I want. But then like, “What if I do?” All of my friends around me have kids—babies are adorable and I’m so happy for my friends—but whenever I say “I still don’t know if I want kids,” they take it so personally and get really offended by me saying that. Having a kid is a personal choice, isn’t it? When you live in a very woke bubble that I’m in with my friends who live very different lives, it’s not a big deal. But as soon as I move slightly outside of that, there’s a judgment cloud if you choose not to have children.
— via Rolling Stone
”My husband and I both had fairly traditional childhoods, and I’ve always [sensed] a certain amount of confusion around my lifestyle—friends and family wondering when we’ll stop partying and settle down. In 2020, we eloped in Las Vegas, and the reaction was pretty uniform, like, ‘Oh, thank god, you did something normal! So when are you having kids?’ People seem to have this idea about how our life is supposed to look, and if that idea doesn’t appeal to you, it makes your head spin. You’re like, ‘Is there something wrong with me?’ We made a beat that sounded sad and upbeat at the same time, and it reminded me of the Stepford Wives—that eerie feeling you get in suburbia that everyone is hiding something.”
– via Apple Music (October 14, 2022)
Suburbia
Tove Lo Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I never wanted babies
I know they're kinda cute
I never wanted marriage
But here I am with you
We love to live in chaos
There's nothing in our way
Our love is deep but fragile
No fake grass, no fake friends
That's our plan, yeah, that's our future dance
No pretend, no safe end
That's our plan, no circumstance
I, I don't want suburbia
I don't need routines and lies
I hope you know that I know
You are the love of my life
But I, I, I can't be no Stepford wife
Just let me talk this through
So, if we had a baby
You'd love them more than me?
What if I'm way too lazy
For the mom Olympic team?
Will we still be romantic?
Will I still get my sleep?
Will you be less pedantic?
No fake grass, no fake friends
That's our plan, yeah, that's our future dance
No pretend, no safe end
That's our plan, no circumstance
I, I don't want suburbia
I don't need routines and lies
I hope you know that I know
You are the love of my life
But I, I, I can't be no Stepford wife (oh)
What if I change my mind and want one
But then I can't have none?
Would you leave me then?
What if I don't want the things
I'm supposed to want? What then?
But what if I do in the end?
I, I don't want suburbia (no, no)
I don't need routines and lies (I don't need no lies)
I hope you know that I know (I know)
You are the love of my life
But I, I, I can't be no Stepford wife (oh, no)
I hope you know that I know
You are the love of my life
But I-I-I can't be no Stepford wife
The lyrics of Tove Lo's "Suburbia" explore the internal struggle of the singer regarding societal expectations and traditional ideas of love and relationships. The song delves into the conflict between wanting love and companionship while resisting the conformity and restrictions that often come with it.
The first verse reflects the singer's admission of not desiring the conventional path of having children and getting married. Despite their initial resistance, they find themselves in a relationship, living in chaos but deeply in love. However, there is a sense of fragility in their love, perhaps because it is not aligned with societal norms.
The chorus "I don't want suburbia, I don't need routines and lies" emphasizes the rejection of a typical suburban lifestyle associated with conformity, routine, and pretense. The singer values authenticity and embraces a more unconventional approach to love and life. They express their fear of becoming a "Stepford wife," referring to the submissive and conformist behavior displayed by the women in the 1975 film "The Stepford Wives."
In the second verse, the singer questions the implications of having a baby and how it may affect their relationship. They ponder the possibility of their partner preferring the child over them or becoming less attentive. They express their concerns about losing their freedom and sleep, as well as the fear of not meeting society's expectations of being a perfect mother.
The bridge explores the singer's fears of changing their mind, both about having children and conforming to societal norms. They ponder the consequences of expressing their true desires and wonder if their partner would leave them or if they would be accepted for not wanting what they are expected to want.
Overall, "Suburbia" presents a narrative of resistance against societal pressures, focusing on the importance of staying true to oneself and finding love on one's own terms, without adhering to traditional expectations.
Line by Line Meaning
Now here I am with you
Despite not wanting a conventional life, I find myself in a relationship with you
I never wanted babies
Having children was never a desire of mine
I know they're kinda cute
I acknowledge that babies can be adorable
I never wanted marriage
The idea of getting married was never appealing to me
But here I am with you
Nevertheless, I am in a relationship with you
We love to live in chaos
We thrive in an unpredictable and unstructured lifestyle
There's nothing in our way
There are no obstacles preventing our unconventional relationship
Our love is deep but fragile
Our love is intense, yet vulnerable
No fake grass, no fake friends
We reject superficiality and insincere relationships
That's our plan, yeah, that's our future dance
Our intention is to avoid pretense and continue living authentically
No pretend, no safe end
We refuse to fake our emotions or settle for a predictable outcome
That's our plan, no circumstance
Our plan is to navigate life without succumbing to external pressures or circumstances
I, I don't want suburbia
I reject the conformity and monotony associated with suburban life
I don't need routines and lies
I do not desire a life filled with repetitive patterns and deceit
I hope you know that I know
I want you to understand that I am aware
You are the love of my life
You are the most significant person in my life
But I, I, I can't be no Stepford wife
However, I cannot conform to the stereotypical ideal of a submissive and obedient wife
Just let me talk this through
Please allow me the opportunity to express my thoughts
So, if we had a baby
In the scenario of having a child
You'd love them more than me?
Would your affection for our child surpass your love for me?
What if I'm way too lazy
What if I lack the motivation and energy required for parenting?
For the mom Olympic team?
Could I still be a suitable mother despite not meeting societal standards of perfection?
Will we still be romantic?
Will our relationship maintain its passion and affection?
Will I still get my sleep?
Can I still prioritize my rest and well-being?
Will you be less pedantic?
Will you become less nitpicky and overly concerned with details?
What if I change my mind and want one
If my desires shift and I decide I want a child
But then I can't have none?
But what if circumstances prevent me from becoming a parent?
Would you leave me then?
Would you abandon our relationship if I could not fulfill your expectations?
What if I don't want the things
What if I do not desire the conventional milestones of life
I'm supposed to want? What then?
Society expects certain desires from me, but what if I defy those expectations?
But what if I do in the end?
However, what if I ultimately embrace the things I am supposed to want?
I-I-I don't want suburbia (no, no)
I categorically reject the idea of settling into suburban life
I don't need routines and lies (I don't need no lies)
I have no desire for monotonous patterns and deceitful behavior
I hope you know that I know (I know)
It is important for me that you understand that I am aware
You are the love of my life
You hold the utmost importance in my life
But I-I-I can't be no Stepford wife (oh, no)
However, I refuse to conform to the submissive and obedient role of a Stepford wife
I hope you know that I know
I want you to understand that I am aware
You are the love of my life
You are the most significant person in my life
But I-I-I can't be no Stepford wife
However, I cannot conform to the stereotypical ideal of a submissive and obedient wife
Lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Tove Lo, Ludvig Karl Dagsson Soederberg
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@ericku.b.2953
One of the best songs of the album✨️💛
@Danimasvi
Totally agree, Call on me is a masterpiece❤❤❤
@yanivshemtov9430
All of them tho
@Dokushin1989
One of the many!
@adrianvelez5077
If not THE BEST 💜
@TlumaczeniaPL
Tove's albums have only best songs
@yumichinnyeon
I'm married to a guy from a small town and this song perfectly described what I was feeling and it resonated with me. I'm not ready to have kids, I'm not ready to live my life in circles, whereas he is. I just love how Tove is so honest and not showing her raw emotions. She's truly saving many people who are going through similar experiences.
@sophieminter0
This is my favorite song of the album for sure. It describes me to a T and is such a unique song theme. I feel like almost every female struggles with this, feeling like we have to get married, have babies, and have a nuclear family in "suburbia" because that is our duty but not wanting that or "the things we're supposed to want." From a young age, we have heard "you'll understand when you have kids", "when you get married...", or your parents saying "I'll save this for my grandchildren". We have also heard about women who had babies and then the dad leaves or cheats on them with a younger woman who might not have the lasting marks of giving birth (c-section, sagging breasts etc) and isn't tired all the time from taking care of their child. But then since our "biological clock" is ticking we worry that we would want kids when it's too late "what if I want them in the end".
@678Lj
I haven’t wanted kids since I was 10- I’m so fulfilled with this experience - I LOVED this song and I will support her if she decides to have kids- the emotions of this song are Real:)
@joshklaver47
Being childfree is awesome. Once you let go of those societal expectations, you get to experience true freedom.