The song addresses the need for validation in the digital world, especially the YouTube community. It discusses the competitive nature of the site and its creators, contesting over who gets the most views and subscribers, and the emotional toll that can take on people and relationships.
YouTube as “bitter content” in early 2018, Dodie explained that the song was inspired by Dom Fera’s short film Content, which she described as “too good for YouTube”.
She later went on to explain upon the EP’s release:
"this was originally called “Bitter Content” but was always a placeholder name because it explored a weird feeling I couldn’t quite pinpoint
There’s definitely bitterness in there about social media and its relationship with art and success and validation."
Not What I Meant
dodie Lyrics
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To look like someone you should know
Maybe I'd sound a little better
If my features were more sweet
Your mind's already been made up
You saw my number and my number wasn't good enough
I'll write a little better
If I'm willing to compete
I'll do it if I have to
Hoping for an inbetween
Not what I meant when I said that I
I wanted to be seen
How am I meant to stay on track
When each hand I shake will pull me back
Oh, I'll work a little harder
But walk a little less
And in the end will I feel proud
That I grit my teeth,
and followed the damn crowd
Will I have grown a little empire
Or made a fucking mess
I'll do it if I have to
Hoping for an inbetween
Not what I meant when I said that I
I wanted to be seen
I'll do it if I have to (I'll keep it to myself)
Hoping for an inbetween (I must have seen that somewhere)
Not what I meant when I said that I
I wanted to be seen
In the song "Not What I Meant" by dodie, the singer is expressing her feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. She sings about the pressures of trying to look and sound a certain way in order to be accepted by others, even though it goes against her true self. She seems to be struggling with the idea of compromise: whether to give in and change herself to fit in or stay true to who she is and risk rejection.
Dodie begins the song by saying "let's find out just how far I'll go" which indicates a willingness to go to great lengths to be accepted. She then sings "if my features were more sweet" which suggests she already feels inadequate and needs to change her appearance to fit in. The next line "your mind's already been made up" shows that she feels judged and dismissed based on her outward appearance.
Dodie continues to express her inner conflict in the chorus, stating "I'll do it if I have to, hoping for an in between" indicating that she is willing to change if it means being accepted, but she isn't sure if it's worth it. The line "Not what I meant when I said that I wanted to be seen" signifies a desire for genuine connection and validation, rather than just fitting in superficially.
Towards the end of the song, Dodie appears to be questioning the path she has taken, wondering if it will lead to success or failure. "Will I have grown a little empire, Or made a fucking mess" shows her uncertainty about the outcome of her choices. The final lines "I'll do it if I have to (I'll keep it to myself), Hoping for an in between (I must have seen that somewhere), Not what I meant when I said that I, I wanted to be seen" imply that she may still choose to change herself to fit in, but deep down, it goes against what she really wants.
Overall, "Not What I Meant" explores the internal struggle of wanting to be accepted while staying true to oneself, highlighting the price one must pay for acceptance.
Line by Line Meaning
Let's find out just how far I'll go
I am willing to go to extreme lengths to impress you
To look like someone you should know
My goal is to change myself to fit your expectations
Maybe I'd sound a little better
If I altered my appearance to fit your standards, maybe you'll like me more
If my features were more sweet
If my natural appearance was more pleasing to you
Your mind's already been made up
You've already made a judgment about me before giving me a chance
You saw my number and my number wasn't good enough
You judged me based on a superficial characteristic (such as a phone number) and found me lacking
I'll write a little better
I am willing to improve my skills to impress you
If I'm willing to compete
I am willing to work harder than others to stand out to you
I'll do it if I have to
I am willing to change myself to fit your expectations
Hoping for an inbetween
I want to find a balance between my own identity and what you expect me to be
Not what I meant when I said that I, I wanted to be seen
When I said I wanted to be seen, I did not mean I would change myself to fit your expectations
How am I meant to stay on track
It's difficult for me to stay true to myself when everyone expects me to be someone else
When each hand I shake will pull me back
Every person I meet will influence me to change myself to fit their expectations
Oh, I'll work a little harder
I am willing to put in extra effort to impress you
But walk a little less
However, I am willing to sacrifice some of my own identity to fit your expectations
And in the end will I feel proud
I am not sure if I will feel fulfilled if I change myself to fit your expectations
That I grit my teeth, and followed the damn crowd
If I succumb to societal pressure, will I feel content or regretful?
Will I have grown a little empire
If I change myself to fit expectations, will I achieve great success and influence?
Or made a fucking mess
Alternatively, will I feel lost and unfulfilled if I am not true to myself?
I'll keep it to myself
I will not express these doubts and struggles to others
I must have seen that somewhere
Maybe the desire to change myself to fit expectations is something I picked up from societal pressure
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: Dorothy Clark
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind