Don't Ask Me To
of Montreal Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

How will I ever know you enough to love you
If you're hiding who you are?
Don't ask me to explain.
Who are you hiding you from,
Across the table with a penny in each eye?
Don't ask me to explain.

I'd like to marry all of my close friends,
And live in a big house together by an angry sea.
Am I the devil's marbles don't move on without me
Who will be watching my body when I sleep?
Who will I believe in?

How am I supposed to let it show when I don't even know?
Don't ask me to explain.
Besides, I don't want to be the one whose coming out first,
I'd really like to but I'm just too shy.
Don't ask me to explain.

I'd want to marry all of my close friends,
And live in a big house together by an angry sea.
Am I the devil's marbles don't move on without me
Who will be watching my body when I sleep?
Who will I believe in?





It's so easy to lie to myself
And pretend that I could love you but I can't

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of "Don't Ask Me To" by of Montreal convey the struggle of opening up to someone and being vulnerable. The opening lines "How will I ever know you enough to love you / If you're hiding who you are?" speak to the difficulty of truly getting to know someone who is not comfortable sharing their true self. It can create a barrier in forming a deeper connection or love.


The chorus speaks to the desire for closeness and intimacy with others, particularly friends. The desire to "marry all of my close friends" and live together, suggests a community and bond that goes beyond just friendship. However, there is a fear of being the first one to open up and "come out" about these desires. The line "Besides, I don't want to be the one whose coming out first, / I'd really like to but I'm just too shy" speaks to the insecurity and hesitancy in being vulnerable and honest about one's desires.


The bridge questions the reliability of others when it comes to trust and belief. "Who will be watching my body when I sleep? / Who will I believe in?" suggests a lack of trust in others, perhaps due to past experiences or a fear of vulnerability.


Overall, the song highlights the struggle of opening up and being vulnerable with others, particularly in regards to intimate relationships and desires. It speaks to the importance of authenticity and true connection in forming meaningful relationships.


Line by Line Meaning

How will I ever know you enough to love you If you're hiding who you are?
How can I possibly love you, if you keep hiding your true self from me?


Don't ask me to explain.
Don't expect me to give you an answer or justification for your secretive behavior.


Who are you hiding you from, Across the table with a penny in each eye?
Why are you concealing yourself, even when we are sitting face to face?


I'd like to marry all of my close friends, And live in a big house together by an angry sea. Am I the devil's marbles don't move on without me Who will be watching my body when I sleep? Who will I believe in?
The artist desires to live in a communal setting with friends but is plagued by existential doubts about the meaning of life and the afterlife.


How am I supposed to let it show when I don't even know? Don't ask me to explain.
The artist is struggling to come to terms with their own sexuality and cannot reveal themselves to others, let alone understand it themselves.


Besides, I don't want to be the one whose coming out first, I'd really like to but I'm just too shy. Don't ask me to explain.
The singer wishes to reveal their true self but is afraid of being the first one to do so, and cannot explain why.


It's so easy to lie to myself And pretend that I could love you but I can't
The singer is acknowledging their inability to love the other person fully, because of their own personal struggles with identity and honesty.




Lyrics © OBO APRA/AMCOS

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
To comment on or correct specific content, highlight it

Genre not found
Artist not found
Album not found
Song not found
Most interesting comments from YouTube:

@alinealves9779

[Verse 1]
How will I ever know you enough to love you
If you're hiding who you are?
Don't ask me to explain, don't ask me to explain
Who are you hiding you from
Across the table with a penny in each eye?
Don't ask me to explain, don't ask me to explain

[Chorus]
I'd like to marry all of my close friends
And live in a big house together by an angry sea
Am I the devil's marbles don't move on without me
Who will be watching my body when I sleep?
Who will I believe in?

[Intro]
Woo, woo, woo, woo

[Verse 2]
How am I supposed to let it show
When I don't even know?
Don't ask me to explain, don't ask me to explain
Besides, I don't want to be the one whose coming out first
I'd really like to but I'm just too shy
Don't ask me to explain, don't ask me to explain

[Chorus]
I'd like to marry all of my close friends
And live in a big house together by an angry sea
Am I the devil's marbles don't move on without me
Who will be watching my body when I sleep?
Who will I believe in?

[Intro]
Woo, woo, woo, woo

[Bridge]
It's so easy to laugh to myself
And pretend that I could love you but I can't



@name4906

My list would probably be something like
-Cherry Peel
-4 Track
-Satanic Panic
-Hissing Fauna
-Sunlandic Twins

Cherry Peel is definitely a classic:)
Though for some tracks I prefer the demo versions from ‘Pre Cherry Peel Demo’, which I recommend to anyone here who hasn’t heard it yet:)



All comments from YouTube:

@pearlyp9898

God, I'm literally crying... just been trying to find songs about platonic love (which is difficult, btw), this one hits particularly hard. I can't explain myself. I'd like to, but I can't, not for now. All I know is that the thought of living with my friends, instead of any romantic partner, makes my heart feel alive, yet ache in a strange way, all at once. I want it. I want it so bad, this specific vision in my head. But I don't think the people in my life would understand.

@jams7811

This comment is a few years old, how are you with this struggle now?

@pearlyp9898

​​@@jams7811Sorry for the very late reply!! But I'm doing so much better now :) I'm very happy with my identity as an aromantic person now - so happy, and in part I owe that to this song, that made me realize it. It's a label that brings me a lot of comfort, and now I've got many close friends who accept me as well. The future is still very undecided, as to who I will actually end up living with, if with anyone at all - but I know no matter with, I will be okay. I've got people who love me, after all, platonically, and that's the most important thing to me.
Thank you for caring <3

@mints4997

@@pearlyp9898 you are sad and little

@Reeve9207

"I'd like to marry all of my close friends, live in a big house together by an angry sea." I love that lyric... for me, I'd say it's true. Wouldn't it be nice? Live with all of your closest friends, just enjoy live as it passes by. Never be lonely again, and never really be down- and if you are, your friends are there to come home to. <3

@spockezri

oh i agree, i've thought about that lyric constantly since hearing this song for the first time, i love it so much <3

@anothercarttogo1819

I'm gonna come out and say it: I'm aro and I'm proud. I find this aspect of my queerness very beautiful. Of course like any other queer identity, it comes with internalization and rough edges (** cough cough ** internalized arophobia). This song perfectly captures how I feel in where I dream my future self being. It's not that I want to marry all of my very close friends, but living in a house with them all and being surrounded in that love, knowing that I wouldn't have to be expected to do nor feel anything, that I can't otherwise do or feel. Being close with those I may or may not have meshes on (an alterous attraction form of a crush) would be beautiful, something that I dream of, yet wouldn't be understood by my friends who are all mostly alloromantic (this term meaning when you're not aro/aro-spec in any means). And besides, it's always expected that you must feel some kind of strong emotion towards a specific person, or persons, to feel the want to live with them; but that's simply not the case with me. Even if I didn't have a mesh or strong platonic attraction towards any of my friends, I deserve to be happy in a way that would make me happy!

@ColterHarris

Sometimes you hear those songs that get everything perfectly. This is one of them.

@person26dx

They sounded so much better with guitars! I love literally everything about this song...

@blackgoldism

The sound is so raw and amazing. love this song.

More Comments

More Versions