Nina the Vampire Slayer
Nina West Lyrics

Once in the late 1800s
Mercy Brown, it is commonly said
When lost to the dreaded consumption
Was shortly thereafter undead

She haunted the house of her family
Who fell gravely ill one by one
When they unearthed the body of Mercy
They found with no doubt what she'd [Done]

Oh my God that's just like this one time on Buffy!

They chased her to the graveyard and circled around
This one vampire was hiding in the background
He grabbed her neck and threw her in a grave
You guys I was like freaking out I didn't think she'd get away

She hit him in the chest and the vampire fell
She got him with a stake and he went straight to hell
She dusted all the other guys with just one blow
It was so cool you guys I swear you gotta see that episode

Nina! Please sit down!
(Narrator)
Then there was Vlad The Impaler
In a time when real vampires reigned
He silenced a great many mortals
You'd be wise not to utter his [Name]

Nina: Oh my God like when everyone on Buffy couldn't talk!

These creepy ghoulie thingies from a fairytale
They stole the voice of everyone in Sunnydale
These straitjacket guys were hunting people down
And then the baldy ghoulies took the hearts of folks all over town

The people's silence gave the weirdos power
The show was dead air for like a half an hour
But that's when Buffy screamed and everything was fine
Oh dude their heads exploded - best episode of all time

Nina! These fabrications are senseless and groundless
Gather round for the story of the Blood Countess

Then there was the time when Sunnydale seemed fine
But everyone was singing everything
Sashaying down the street to an imaginary beat
These poor actors never thought that they'd have to dance and sing

And just like any good musical
There was a demon in a zoot suit
A child bride, some wooden guys
And though it was utterly beautiful
The gang thought Dawn had brought

The demon on his wedding day
He wanted to make her his bae
But Xander was the one to blame
He wasn't gay they all were saved

Oh my God I loooooooooooove that whole season!

Nina: I can't believe that brilliant show was ever cancelled
Narrator: So awesome-palooza I can't even handle
Nina: It shoulda got like max awardage every year
Narrator: The hottest guys like Spike and Xander, Riley Finn and Warren Mears

Narrator: Can I go back to 1998
Nina: And tune into the only show that I don't hate
Narrator: I betcha Bram Stoker's turning in his grave
Both: Compared to sucky Dracula Buffy Summers slaaaaaaays