Werewolf Bar Mitzvah
Jeff Richmond Lyrics

Aw man, Tray, look up at the sky! It's a full moon... on the Sabbath.
The full moon on the Sabbath is scary.

I was working late on my Haftorah When I heard a knock on my bedroom-doorah I opened it up and to my surprise There was a werewolf standing there with glowing gold eyes He says tomorrow my son you will be a man But tonight's the time to join the wolfen clan Tomorrow you will stand at the bimah and pray But tonight let's gaze at the moon and bay
A werewolf visited while Haftorah was being read, inviting the boy to join the wolfen clan the night before the Bar Mitzvah.

Werewolf bar mitzvah Spooky scary Boys becoming men Men becoming wolves Werewolf bar mitzvah Spooky scary Boys becoming men Men becoming wolves Alright, that was great Tray. Ok, it's over. That's a wrap! Oh-
The boy's Bar Mitzvah was spooky and scary, with boys becoming men and men becoming wolves. It was a successful wrap.

The next day what happened, the Talmud didn't teach Oh, there's more... I got up in front of everyone to give my little speech Then my teeth turned into fangs and my nails into claws And I nearly dropped the Torah when my hands turned into paws I growled and I roared and my rabbi did as well It was a rocking werewolf zoo at Temple Beth-Emmanuel Ey man, where'd you learn all these Jewish words? My manager, Harvey Lemmings.
The day after the Bar Mitzvah, the boy turned into a werewolf and the rabbi followed suit. The boy's manager taught him the Jewish words in the song.

Werewolf bar mitzvah Spooky scary Boys becoming men Men becoming wolves
The boy's Bar Mitzvah was so spooky and scary that boys became men and men became wolves.

I don't... I-I just don't think this... the idea of the song can substain its self for that long because it... it seems a little sweaty now, so... This whole premise is sweaty.
The idea of the song is unrealistic and not sustainable, thus the premise is sweaty.

We had a reception at the Larchmont Country Club They served a real nice brisket and an eight foot party sub I danced with my cousins, I got money from my folks We had a lot of fun making circumcision jokes Uh-uh... Then I remembered the premise of my song I was at a nice reception but the werewolf part was gone So we pulled ourselves together and we're wolfmen again Just in time for monster fight to begin Noooo... All the country club employees were brainsucking pack Who had all turned into zombies and were on the attack No, man... So we fought them and some draculas and frankensteins too Cause you gotta love bar mitzvah, even if you're not a Werewolf bar mitzvah There's no such thing as "Frankensteins"... Spooky scary "Steins". Boys becoming men No plural Frankenstein. Men becoming wolves Werewolf bar mitzvah Kooky hairy Boys becoming men Men becoming wolves
The reception was fun until the werewolf part faded. They transformed again just in time to fight off zombies, draculas, and Frankensteins, even though they do not exist. All of them became like werewolves.

I don't want this... I don't like this... this is scary! Turning into werewolves and stuff, you know? I dunno Tray, I'm not feeling it. This ain't no "Dick In A Box".
Turning into werewolves is scary and the idea doesn't seem that great anyway, it isn't like "Dick In A Box".

Mazel tov.
Congratulations.