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Popular Phrases
by Tig Notaro

Seems like it's really popular these days to say things like, um, "
Oh that gross my out.
I just threw up a little in my mouth,", or, um, "
Oh you're so funny, I just peed a little." That's like you're a gross person.
Why don't you pull yourself together and then rejoin polite society after you've cleaned yourself up a bit?
When you say those things you cause me to shed my uterine lining.

Contributed by Lily K. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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