Better Off Without a Wife
Tom Waits Lyrics

All my friends are married
All the people I'm acquainted with have already pledged to spend their lives with someone else.

Every Tom and Dick and Harry
This phrase sarcastically refers to every non-descript man on the street that has found himself a partner and committed to marriage.

You must be strong
Being single requires great strength to face the world alone and accept the loneliness associated with it.

To go it alone
Facing the world alone, without a partner or companion to share life's joys and sorrows with.

Here's to the bachelors
Celebrating single men who have chosen to live their lives without getting married.

And the bowery bums
Referring to homeless people living on the streets, who are free of the trappings of marriage and family responsibilities.

And those who feel that they're the ones
Acknowledging the fact that some people prefer to be alone and feel it is better for them than being married.

Who are better off without a wife
These people strongly believe that they are happier, more content, and fulfilled being without a wife or partner.

I like to sleep until the crack of noon
Tom is a self-proclaimed night owl, who prefers to stay up late, sleep in, and has no responsibilities to drag him out of bed early in the morning.

Midnight howlin' at the moon
A poetic and playful way to describe his love for staying up late, howling at the moon, and enjoying the night sky.

Goin' out when I wanto, comin' home when I please
Tom enjoys the freedom of being able to come and go as he pleases, without having to answer to anyone else or feel guilty for staying out late.

I don't have to ask permission
Tom does not have to seek permission from anyone else to do the things he loves, go where he wants to go, or spend his time in any particular way.

If I want to go out fishing
Tom enjoys the freedom of being able to go out to fish whenever he feels like it, without having to make any arrangements or ask someone else for permission.

And I never have to ask for the keys
Tom does not have to worry about losing his key or asking someone else for the key to his own place when he comes and goes. He is free from this inconvenience and responsibility.

Never been no Valentino
Tom is not a player who goes after women to have short-lived relationships. He has no interest in the Romeo or Valentino lifestyle.

Had a girl who lived in Reno
Tom shares that he had an ex-girlfriend who lived in Reno, where he had a short-lived and uneventful relationship with her.

Left me for a trumpet player
Tom's ex-girlfriend chose to leave him for someone who plays the trumpet, a detail of the story Tom shares with playful sarcasm.

Didn't get me down,
Tom wasn't too devastated or impacted that his relationship did not work out, and he quickly moved on from the experience.

He was wanted for assault
The trumpet player was suspected of committing an act of violence, a detail that Tom shares with dark humor.

Though he said it weren't his fault
Despite the accusations against him, the trumpet player denied any wrongdoing or fault in the incident.

Well the coppers rode him right
The police arrested the trumpet player, bringing him to justice for his crimes.

Out of town (chorus) selfish about my privacy
Tom prefers to keep his personal life separate from everyone else's, and he enjoys his privacy to the fullest extent possible.

As long as I can be with me
Tom is comfortable spending time with himself and does not need other people to feel complete or happy.

We get along so well I can't believe
Tom enjoys his own company so much that he cannot believe how well he gets along with himself.

I love to chew the fat with folks
Tom still loves to chat and mingle with all kinds of people, even as a bachelor living alone.

And listen to all your dirty jokes
Tom is happy to listen to silly, ribald jokes with his friends, enjoying the fun and lighthearted moments with others.

I'm so thankful for these friends
Tom expresses gratitude for his friends, who keep him company and make him feel less lonely despite his chosen bachelor lifestyle.

I do receive (chorus)
Tom is happy to receive the companionship, laughter, and joy that his friends share with him, even as he remains alone in his personal life.