The music of $uicideBoy$ varies between different sub-genres of rap; while some songs have melancholy tones with lyrical content that focuses on subjects such as depression and suicidal ideation (topics not widely exposed in rap music), others are wildly aggressive, with themes of violence and sexual content. Some of their music is based around life growing up in New Orleans; song titles such as Audubon, Tulane, Elysian Fields and St. Bernard reflect streets and neighborhoods that influenced the life of Arceneaux and Petrou. A large portion of their music focuses on depression and its symptoms, an angle not often received in mainstream hip hop; Arceneaux elaborated on this in an interview with Mass Appeal, stating, “A lot of people take it as emo, or depressed music, or negative music... it’s really just connecting. It’s therapy, through music". Excluding occasional guest producers, the entirety of Suicideboys' discography is self-produced, mainly by Arceneaux under his pseudonym Budd Dwyer (an homage to the former politician of the same name).
$crim was born Scott Arceneaux Jr. on April 11, 1989 in Marrero, Louisiana. Arceneaux originally was inspired by T-Pain and Kanye West to produce music, buying his first laptop which he used to start DJing with money gained from selling drugs. Arceneaux's passion for DJing extended when he started to attend Delgado Community College, where he was hired to DJ parties. He also worked selling used furniture, getting fired for his new hand tattoos after three years.
Ruby da Cherry was born Aristos Petrou (Αρίστος Πέτρου) on April 22, 1990 to an American mother and Greek Cypriot father. Raised in Metairie, Louisiana, Petrou's interest in music began when he was seven, playing violin and then drums when he was ten, eventually joining bands in middle school. He worked at his father's restaurant as a waiter, a job he held until 2015. His experience with the punk rock scene continued as he joined the band Vapo-Rats as its drummer; however, disillusioned with the apathy his bandmates showed towards the future of the band, Petrou left in order to pursue a career in hip-hop with Arceneaux.
Arceneaux and Petrou are cousins, and as such shared a close relationship growing up. Realising that both were interested in taking a musical career seriously, and both dissatisfied with the direction of their lives, the two formed Suicideboys, making a pact that if their musical career didn’t work out, they would both commit suicide. Elaborating on this in an interview with Mass Appeal, Arceneaux states that, “it was pretty much like cutting the hand, bleeding, and making a pact that there’s no plan B, that if this doesn’t happen by the time we’re 30, I’m blowing my head off”.
The duo's first project together, a three-track EP named Kill Yourself Part I: The $uicide $aga, was released in June 2014 on SoundCloud and Bandcamp, attracting attention for their collaboration with notable underground rapper Bones. In the following months, the duo released a further nine iterations of the Kill Yourself series. After a number of collaboration EPs with fellow underground artist Black Smurf, their first full length project titled Gray/Grey was released on March 3, 2015.
Suicideboys' underground breakthrough came with the release of 2015 EP $outh $ide $uicide, a collaboration with established South Florida rapper Pouya, which thrust the duo into the underground rap spotlight. Other 2015 releases include 7th or St. Tammany, YUNGDEATHLILLIFE, High Tide in the Snake's Nest, Grey Sheep EP, I No Longer Fear The Razor Guarding My Heel (part I and II), My Liver Will Handle What My Heart Can't, Now The Moon's Rising and G.R.E.Y.G.O.D.S. with fellow g59 rapper RAMIREZ.
The duo's first foray onto the mainstream musical charts came with the release of Radical $uicide in the summer of 2016. The five-track EP, produced by EDM musician Getter, peaked at number 17 on the Billboard Rap charts. Other 2016 releases include Dark Side of the Clouds, Grey Sheep II, Eternal Grey, I No Longer Fear The Razor Guarding My Heel (part III), G.R.E.Y.G.O.D.S.I.I. with [artis]RAMIREZ, DIRTYNASTY$UICIDE with GERM, and Black $uicide Side C with Black Smurf.
In 2017 the boys released another 10 iterations of the Kill Yourself series, they also dropped DIRTIERNASTIER$UICIDE, with GERM.
On September 7, 2018, their debut studio album I Want to Die in New Orleans was released. A statement posted by the duo's official Instagram account stated, "We started recording this album in the beginning of 2017. Initially we wanted to write about our experiences on the road and express how our lives had become slightly more extravagant."
In late 2018, a rumor arose that the group had broken up following a series of ominous tweets. However, they soon clarified that the tweets were in relation to "personal issues" facing Arceneaux, and that they had in fact not broken up.
Life Is but a Stream~
$uicideboy$ Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
One in the chamber
One, one
One in the chamber
One in the chamber
One, one
My life is a movie, but I bought the tickets too late
Refund me they won't
So now I make pay sellin' it as single frames
Tellin' myself that it's bank
But deep down I know it's just change
One day the seats will be empty
And one day the screen will be blank
Until that day, please don't tempt me
'Cause I'm gonna try and stay straight
Vacant apologies hollow the blame
My sorrow is comfortin' and I'm in pain
I'll follow what's numbin', but there I'll remain
But there I'll remain
Call it what you want but don't call it what it ain't
One in the chamber for ya
One in the chamber for ya
One in the chamber for ya
One in the cha-
One in the cha-
One in the chamber for ya
One in the chamber for ya
One in the chamber for ya
One in the chamber for ya
Don't wanna talk about my drug use
Suffer through so much abuse
Lost my way back home
Left my family all alone
Did what I would never do and can't forgive myself
What I put my father through
Left him to burn in hell, yeah
My brother hugged me with tears in his eyes
Pointed to his veins
Tryna indicate that the blood we share is both the same
Man, I swear I died that day
Amends that I try to make
Wrote this for the words I could not find to say
The lyrics of $uicideboy$'s song "Life Is but a Stream" express a feeling of regret and despair. The opening line "One in the chamber for ya" suggests a sense of aggression or readiness for confrontation. The repetition of "One in the chamber" emphasizes this feeling, creating a sense of tension in the song. The following line, "My life is a movie, but I bought the tickets too late," expresses a sense of missed opportunities and regret. The metaphor of life as a movie suggests that the singer feels like a spectator in their own life, unable to participate fully in the events of their existence.
The lyrics go on to express a sense of isolation and emptiness. The singer feels like they are selling their life piece by piece, unable to appreciate it as a whole. They know that one day their life will be over, and they will have nothing to show for it. The repetition of "One in the chamber" in the chorus reinforces this sense of finality, suggesting that the end is near.
The second verse delves into the singer's drug use and the toll it has taken on their relationships. They feel like they have let down those closest to them and can't forgive themselves for it. The mention of the singer's brother points to a sense of familial bonds, but also to the shared struggles of addiction. The lyrics suggest that the singer is trying to make amends for their actions, but is having a hard time finding the right words to express their regret and sorrow.
Overall, the lyrics of "Life Is but a Stream" express a sense of hopelessness and regret. The song paints a picture of a life slipping away, with nothing left but memories and missed opportunities.
Line by Line Meaning
One in the chamber for ya
I have something for you - a bullet in my gun, ready to fire at any moment
My life is a movie, but I bought the tickets too late
I feel like I'm just watching my life happen, and I didn't get involved when I had the chance
Missin' the show
I'm not living my life to the fullest
Refund me they won't
I can't undo the mistakes I've made, I can't get back the time I've wasted
So now I make pay sellin' it as single frames
I try to find meaning in my life by breaking it down into smaller, more manageable parts
Tellin' myself that it's bank
I try to convince myself that I'm making progress and that I'm happy with my life
But deep down I know it's just change
I know that the small things I do every day won't add up to a significant change in my life
One day the seats will be empty
One day I will die and there will be no one left to share my experiences with
And one day the screen will be blank
When I die, my life will be over and there won't be anything left to show
Until that day, please don't tempt me
I try to resist the temptations of using drugs or other ways of escaping reality
'Cause I'm gonna try and stay straight
I want to do my best to live my life without relying on temporary fixes or distractions
Vacant apologies hollow the blame
I'm sorry for what I've done, but my apologies don't really mean anything if I keep hurting others
My sorrow is comfortin' and I'm in pain
I find some sort of peace in feeling sad, but deep down it only hurts me more
I'll follow what's numbin', but there I'll remain
I might try to use drugs or other means of escape, but ultimately I'll still be stuck in the same place
Call it what you want but don't call it what it ain't
I am who I am, and I won't pretend to be something I'm not
Don't wanna talk about my drug use
I don't want to face the reality of my addiction and how it's affecting my life
Suffer through so much abuse
I've endured a lot of pain and suffering, both externally and internally
Lost my way back home
I don't know where I belong or how to get there
Left my family all alone
My addiction has caused me to distance myself from the people who care about me the most
Did what I would never do and can't forgive myself
I've made mistakes that I never thought I would make, and I have trouble forgiving myself for them
What I put my father through
My actions have hurt my father deeply
Left him to burn in hell, yeah
I feel like I've condemned my father to suffer because of my own mistakes and shortcomings
My brother hugged me with tears in his eyes
My brother empathizes with me and he's sad to see how much I'm struggling
Pointed to his veins
He's indicating that we're both trapped by our addiction, and that it runs in the family
Tryna indicate that the blood we share is both the same
Our shared DNA makes us more similar than we might realize, and we're both at risk of going down the same dangerous path
Man, I swear I died that day
That moment was a turning point for me, and it made me realize how serious my addiction had become
Amends that I try to make
I'm trying to make up for my mistakes and make things right with my family
Wrote this for the words I could not find to say
Sometimes it's easier for me to express myself through music and lyrics than it is to have a face-to-face conversation
Lyrics © PFIVE Entertainment Mexico, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Aristos Petrou, Scott Arceneaux
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@l1lunc1v1l
This is the PTSD album. Whether you want it or not, shit is a battle...
@katayacastillo8972
So true
@christianswahlstedt933
I’ve been thinking this for awhile now.. it’s almost entirely painful
@goatgamingyt2964
These past 2 nights my night terrors have been bad ptsd kicking my ass
@phoenix_radio
@@goatgamingyt2964 yeah youre not alone there fam, but we keep marching on
@XBIGBEARX.2003
@@goatgamingyt2964 I feel ya been dealin with it the last 4 years and still goin threw it stay strong bro your not alone
@zannchristo
Ruby killed his parts, but $crim went extra deep this album
@camthesooner123
That’s what sobriety does man. You can speak on the bad with a clear head
@magednosseir8304
went alittle hardcoreee
@everstilljoshtns3404
nah, that’s definitely scrims one 🔥❤️🔥