In 1989, Stephan Groth and Jon Erik Martinsen formed Apoptygma Berzerk in Norway. They wrote several songs, one of them "Ashes To Ashes" would later be released as a 12" single on the Norwegian label Tatra Productions in 1991. Martinsen left the band shortly afterwards feeling uncomfortable with the direction of the band's music. Since then the band had many lineup changes, Groth being the only constant members.
Stephan Groth claims that the band name was randomly picked out of a dictionary. Apoptygma is an old Greek word for the fold of a woman's garment. Technically the 'y' ought to be pronounced like a long 'u', but the band's name is commonly pronounced a-pop-TIG-ma or a-pop-TEEG-ma.
Apoptygma Berzerk released six studio albums so far: Soli Deo Gloria in 1993, 7 in 1996, Welcome To Earth in 2000, Harmonizer in 2002, You and Me Against the World in 2005, and Rocket Science in 2009.
The first two albums, Soli Deo Gloria and 7 were a similar style of synthpop and EBM. Welcome to Earth featured an evolved EBM/synthpop sound. Harmonizer featured a softer, more synthpop-oriented direction. You and Me Against the World represented an almost complete change in style for the band, from EBM to indie rock-oriented sound. Rocket Science continued the rock-oriented direction of their sound.
They also released three compilations (The Apopcalyptic Manifesto in 1998, The Singles Collection in 2003 , Sonic Diary in 2006), three live albums (APBL98 in 1999, APBL2000 in 2001, Imagine There's No Lennon in 2010) and three live DVDs (APBL2000 in 2001, The Harmonizer DVD in 2004, Imagine There's No Lennon in 2010).
In total, the band issued six EPs: Victims of Mutilation in 1990, The 2nd Manifesto in 1992, Mourn EP in 1997, Unicorn EP in 2004, Black EP in 2006, and Green Queen in 2009.
List of former band members:
Jon Erik Martensen: keyboards (1989)
Per Aksel Lundgreen: keyboards/manager (1991–1994)
Anders Odden: guitars (1992-1999)
Geir Bratland: keyboards/backing vocals (1995-2009)
Fredrik Darum: producer/live guitarist (1999–2001)
Ted Skogmann: drums and guitar (1999–2002)
Fredrik Brarud: drums (2002-2009)
Audun Stengel (Angel): guitars (2002-2009)
Anders Odden: guitars (2003-2006)
Official site: http://www.apoptygmaberzerk.de
Shadow
Apoptygma Berzerk Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Weighing every word I want to say
Darkness fills the room, it's closing in on us
The words all come out wrong again, I let you down
If I could just trust more I'd dare to speak the truth
Wish I could give one hundred percent
It's sad and unfair, you too are suffering
For way too long
I've been merely a shadow of my true self
I'm in despair
I'm beyond repair
A shadow hanging over me it clouds my mind
Preventing any sane thoughts to occur
A silhouette is cast on your side of the bed
Reminding me of what I have become
For way too long
I've been merely a shadow of my true self
I'm in despair
I'm beyond repair
The lyrics of Apoptygma Berzerk's song "Shadow" present a character who is struggling with a deep sense of inadequacy and guilt. The singer is unable to speak honestly and trust themselves. This burden is so heavy that it has transformed them into a shadow of their true self. As the song progresses, the imagery of darkness and shadows becomes more prominent, with the "silhouette cast on your side of the bed" representing the singer's own diminished sense of self. The singer is aware of the suffering they are causing their loved one, who they refer to as "the innocent."
The lyrics of "Shadow" evoke a sense of hopelessness and despair that is difficult to shake. The repetition of "beyond repair" emphasizes the singer's belief that they are irreparable. The use of first-person pronouns like "I" and "me" throughout the song places the focus squarely on the singer's internal struggles, creating a sense of intimacy and vulnerability.
Overall, the lyrics of "Shadow" are a poignant exploration of the effects of self-doubt and guilt on an individual's mental and emotional state. The song serves as a reminder of the importance of self-acceptance and honesty, themes that are common in Apoptygma Berzerk's music.
Line by Line Meaning
Staring at the ceiling sorting out my thoughts
I am lost in introspection, trying to make sense of my thoughts
Weighing every word I want to say
I am hesitant to speak because I am afraid of hurting you with my words
Darkness fills the room, it's closing in on us
The tension between us is growing, and it feels like the darkness is taking over
The words all come out wrong again, I let you down
I struggle to articulate my thoughts and feelings, and in doing so, I disappoint you
If I could just trust more I'd dare to speak the truth
I am aware that I need to trust myself and have confidence in what I say before I am able to speak the truth
Wish I could give one hundred percent
I wish I had the courage and ability to give my all, especially to you
It's sad and unfair, you too are suffering
I recognize that it's not just me who is hurting - my struggles are affecting you too
When I'm the guilty you are the innocent
I see myself as the one at fault, and you as the person who deserves better
A shadow hanging over me it clouds my mind
I feel like I am being consumed by a dark presence that obscures my thoughts and emotions
Preventing any sane thoughts to occur
This shadow is making it difficult for me to think clearly and logically
A silhouette is cast on your side of the bed
My issues are affecting our relationship, and I see evidence of that when I look at your side of the bed
Reminding me of what I have become
The sight of your side of the bed is a reminder of how far I have fallen from my true self
For way too long
I have been struggling with these issues for an extended period of time
I've been merely a shadow of my true self
I feel like I have lost touch with who I really am
I'm in despair
I am deeply unhappy and distressed
I'm beyond repair
I feel like I am too broken and damaged to be fixed
Contributed by Natalie E. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
Kamikaze Chipmunk
Staring at the ceiling sorting out my thoughts
Weighing every word I want to say
Darkness fills the room, it's closing in on us
The words all come out wrong again, I let you down
If I could just trust more I'd dare to speak the truth
Wish I could give one hundred percent
It's sad and unfair, you too are suffering
When I'm the guilty you are the innocent
For way too long
I've been merely a shadow of my true self
I'm in despair
I'm beyond repair
A shadow hanging over me it clouds my mind
Preventing any sane thoughts to occur
A silhouette is cast on your side of the bed
Reminding me of what I have become
For way too long
I've been merely a shadow of my true self
I'm in despair
I'm beyond repair
Kamikaze Chipmunk
Staring at the ceiling sorting out my thoughts
Weighing every word I want to say
Darkness fills the room, it's closing in on us
The words all come out wrong again, I let you down
If I could just trust more I'd dare to speak the truth
Wish I could give one hundred percent
It's sad and unfair, you too are suffering
When I'm the guilty you are the innocent
For way too long
I've been merely a shadow of my true self
I'm in despair
I'm beyond repair
A shadow hanging over me it clouds my mind
Preventing any sane thoughts to occur
A silhouette is cast on your side of the bed
Reminding me of what I have become
For way too long
I've been merely a shadow of my true self
I'm in despair
I'm beyond repair
Vicky Victoria2
Great song ❤
Heather Manning
💜💜💜💜💜😊
RM~S
Amazing song!❤
A-void: RE:ality
this song really speaks to me
Thorsten Jurk
Sehr sehr geil , bester Song den ich von der Band kenne.
Mihaela S
Again, awesome! Thanks for sharing with us.
Fulltronpet
So deep as always with Stephan Groth
Thomas Struszka
Best song of many good ones he did
jens möller
@Vincent Sander reallx nice but agree there are numerous which are even greater