Never Had
by Big Hoodoo

Day one,
It started when they told my mom to push me,
I had to struggle since I first came up out the pussy,
They say the drugs and the alcohol made her womb polluted,
And all my thoughts and my actions will be convoluted,
Nude, full of tubes, barely clinging on to life,
In the incubator, shakin', like I'm on the pipe.
Doctors tell my mom be hopeful,
But all she said is "Fuck 'em, I don't want him.
He's better off dead."

Two months later, in this box which I call a crib,
Dried snot all on my face, And spit-up on my bib,
I just lay around and wait for them to come and get me,
Cuz everytime that I cry someone comes to hit me,
Shit smeared all on my legs and all over the sheets,
Cuz my diaper ain't been changed in about a week,
The one they didn't give a fuck about, I guess I'm it,
I'm not ashamed to admit,

I NEVER HAD SHIT.

I never had CLOTHES!
I never had FOOD!
I never had SHOES!
I NEVER HAD SHIT.
I never had FRIENDS!
I never had TOYS!
I never had LOVE!
I NEVER HAD SHIT.
I never had PETS!
I never had BIKES!
I never got HUGS!
I NEVER HAD SHIT.
I never had MILK!

I never had CARE!
I never got AFFECTION!

I was molested as a child, I never told my momma,
I thought it was my fault and didn't want the drama,
She would tell me "Boy, I really fuckin' hate you,
A curse on this world since the day I made you."
They used to hang me up in the basement by my toes,
Ass naked, and spray me with the water hose,
She used to beat me, with anything that was close,
But, burning me with her pipe was what she loved the most,
Never took the time out to tell me that she loved me,
But she went out of her way to make me feel ugly,
No better time to kick a person than when he's down,
She slapped me so hard, for months I couldn't hear a sound,
Only child, so I know she never did want me,
And the torture that she put me through still haunts me,
She put the coldness in my heart,

That's hard to lift,
That's why I'm not okay.
I NEVER HAD SHIT.

I never had CLOTHES!
I never had FOOD!
I never had SHOES!
I NEVER HAD SHIT.
I never had FRIENDS!
I never had TOYS!
I never had LOVE!
I NEVER HAD SHIT.
I never had PETS!
I never had BIKES!
I never got HUGS!

I NEVER HAD SHIT.
I never had MILK!
I never had CARE!
I never got AFFECTION!

I didn't care much at all ‘cuz I'm on something other,
Already callous to the ridicule from my mother,
I got jumped on the regular by school bullies,
Cuz I dress in all black and always wear hoodies,

All my life she's been telling me that I'm the worst,
She damned me and my soul to hell, head first,
The memories imbedded like a bad acid trip,
I can't forget about the fact,
I never had shit…

I never had CLOTHES!
I never had FOOD!
I never had SHOES!
I NEVER HAD SHIT.
I never had FRIENDS!
I never had TOYS!
I never got AFFECTION!
I NEVER HAD SHIT.
I never had PETS!
I never had BIKES!
I never got HUGS!
I NEVER HAD SHIT.
I never had MILK!
I never had CARE!
I never got AFFECTION!

Contributed by Aria O. Suggest a correction in the comments below.