Where the Grass Don't Grow
Cledus T. Judd Lyrics


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Parody of "Where the Green Grass Grows" by Tim McGraw (Jess Leary/Craig Wiseman), Song Matters Inc. (ASCAP)/Leary's Tavern Music (ASCAP)/Daddy Rabbit Music (ASCAP)/Famous Music Corp(ASCAP)/Almo Music Corp. (ASCAP)
New lyrics & music by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music (SESAC)

(Coughs)
Ahhhhâ?¦uh
Oh (coughs)
AHHHCHOOOOOO
Ah my head feels as big as a dad blang basketball
It's a shame I'm a sight
Red eyes itchy both day and night
My head's all stuffed up tight again

Oh no spring's back
Another dang allergy attack
I bought some Sudafed
And took the whole dern pack
And I still can't breathe and I cough and I hack

I want to live where the grass don't grow
I'm sick and tired of blowin my nose
Never again will you hear me go ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So much congestion in my chest
Doctor's said that it might be best
For me to move where the pollen count is low
Where the grass don't grow

I wonder if Tim McGraw's got any of that snifflin night time
Sneezin achin stuffy head coughin
Wake up on the top of your tour bus medicine for me
(coughs)

I sold my leaf blower
My two horsepower push mower
Won't see me outdoors this time of year
(coughs)
This ragweed is a getting rough
My hay fever is getting tough
I'm all out of Vicks Vapo Rub
And there's dust everywhere
And enough is enough

I want to live where the grass don't grow
A big high rise or a small condo
If I never blow again it'll be too soon
Won't ever touch another garden tool
I'll sip Margueritas by the swimming pool
There will be one less seed I'll have to sew
Where the grass don't grow

(Coughs and sneezes)
:Oh my head
Here we go

I want to live where the grass don't grow
It's killing me here where the mulch blowers blow
I've tried everything I know to do
Can't keep the sneezin cough suppressed
Try to give my sinuses a rest
I'm going to go where the pollen count is low
Where the grass don't grow





(Sneezes and coughs till end)

Overall Meaning

Cledus T. Judd's "Where the Grass Don't Grow" is a parody of Tim McGraw's "Where the Green Grass Grows." The song is about the singer's allergies to grass and pollen, which are causing him to suffer from a perpetual runny nose, coughing, and difficulty breathing. Throughout the song, the singer talks about his dreams of moving to a place where the grass does not grow, so he can avoid his allergy symptoms altogether. He talks about how tough it is to live in a place where he has to constantly battle allergies, and even sold his gardening tools to avoid being outside during the allergy season.


Despite being a parody, the song touches on a common experience of people who experience seasonal allergies. The song offers a humorous take on the struggles and difficulties of living with allergies, but also offers the hope of a solution - moving to a place where pollen and grass aren't a problem.


Overall, it's an amusing song with clever lyrics that will appeal to anyone who has suffered through allergy season.


Line by Line Meaning

Ah my head feels as big as a dad blang basketball
My head is throbbing with pain and discomfort


It's a shame I'm a sight
I look miserable and unwell


Red eyes itchy both day and night
My eyes are swollen and itchy constantly


My head's all stuffed up tight again
My sinuses are blocked and congested


Oh no spring's back
Spring has arrived bringing allergies and pollen with it


Another dang allergy attack
I'm suffering another allergic reaction


I bought some Sudafed
I purchased a medication to relieve my symptoms


And took the whole dern pack
I took a lot of the medication


And I still can't breathe and I cough and I hack
My symptoms persist even after taking medication


I want to live where the grass don't grow
I want to move to a location with low pollen count and no grass


I'm sick and tired of blowin my nose
I am exhausted from constantly blowing my nose


Never again will you hear me go ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I don't want to suffer from allergies and sneezing ever again


So much congestion in my chest
There is a lot of mucus and phlegm in my chest


Doctor's said that it might be best
The doctor recommended moving to a location with less pollen


For me to move where the pollen count is low
The doctor suggested moving to a place with low pollen count


I wonder if Tim McGraw's got any of that snifflin night time
I wonder if Tim McGraw has also suffered from allergies and knows the struggle


Sneezin achin stuffy head coughin
These are all common symptoms of allergies


Wake up on the top of your tour bus medicine for me
I need medication even when traveling for concerts like Tim McGraw


I sold my leaf blower
I got rid of outdoor equipment due to allergies


My two horsepower push mower
I don't use my lawn mower anymore


Won't see me outdoors this time of year
I avoid going outside during allergy season


This ragweed is a getting rough
The ragweed pollen is making my allergies worse


My hay fever is getting tough
My allergies are becoming more severe


I'm all out of Vicks Vapo Rub
I have run out of medicine for my symptoms


And there's dust everywhere
Dust exacerbates my allergies


And enough is enough
I can't take it anymore


A big high rise or a small condo
I'm willing to live anywhere without grass and pollen


If I never blow again it'll be too soon
I don't want to blow my nose ever again


Won't ever touch another garden tool
I'm giving up all outdoor work due to allergies


I'll sip Margueritas by the swimming pool
I'll relax and enjoy my new environment


There will be one less seed I'll have to sew
I won't have to plant grass or worry about pollen anymore


It's killing me here where the mulch blowers blow
The mulch blowing machines worsen my allergies


I've tried everything I know to do
I have tried many methods to relieve my allergy symptoms


Can't keep the sneezin cough suppressed
My medication isn't strong enough to suppress my symptoms


Try to give my sinuses a rest
I'm trying to ease the pressure in my sinuses


I'm going to go where the pollen count is low
I'm committed to moving to an area with low pollen count




Lyrics © OBO APRA/AMCOS

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