Crywank started in 2009 with Jay Clayton attempting to do some folk-punk influenced acoustic music with no previous experience playing guitar. The first album "James is going to die soon" was inspired by a painful break up. Jay stated that "I wrote these songs out of frustration and sadness and they ended up making me feel a lot better, I hope they have a similar effect on you".
In 2012 Crywank released their second album 'Narcissist On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown'. Described as "a collection of paranoid songs mostly about me trying to understand my own sadness along with the concept of sadness as a whole. It was fueled by self help books and pot."
In late 2012 Dan Watson joined Crywank on percussion, and in early 2013 they released tour demos for their third album 'Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday And Everyday Is Stupid' which was released in October 2013.
In 2016 Jay and Dan began couch surfing to afford to be able to tour as much as possible. Over the next four years they performed over 500 shows in over 30 countries and released four albums.
Crywank announced their breakup following a world tour in 2019, alongside the album ‘fist me til your hand comes out my mouth’’ a huge departure in sound and the first release to include songwriting from Dan and explained the tense relationship between Jay and Dan that had developed over the years on the road.
Their breakup tour was cut short by the COVID-19 pandemic and the North American and European dates had to be rescheduled numerous times. During this time Jay was in a house fire, which led to the release of a solo Crywank album ‘Just Popping In To Say Hi’ that was written and recorded over three days.
Between 2022-2023 Crywank managed to continue their final tour and performed 100 shows in the USA and over 50 shows in the UK and Ireland, often with bass player Jules Noel (AKA Guard Petal). In 2024 it was announced that Crywank will no longer be breaking up and Jules would be joining the band.
The name Crywank comes from reclaiming a cruel nickname given to Jay during a period of depression. Jay has since said that if they knew how popular the band would have become they probably would’ve chosen a different name.
I Am Shit
Crywank Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Every word that I say seems far too contrived
What are your intentions? I'm ashamed by mine
When I'm thinking too much, I realise I'm unkind
Pretend that I'm nicer than I'll ever be
I am selfish and deluded, enjoy my hypocrisy
Complain that I'm bored, when being bored is a privilege
First world problems, they breed in my head
Ethical contradictions between my actions and what I've said
I should just shut my mouth as evidence piles against me
That I'm so much worse than I think, exposed as a phoney
I am shit, I am shit
Nuh nuh nur nur, fucking dick
I am shit, I am shit
Nuh nur nuh nur, nuh, nuh
The lyrics of Crywank's song "I Am Shit" are introspective and self-critical. The singer expresses feelings of insecurity and guilt about the way they communicate and the choices they make. They feel that language can be scary when over-analyzed, and that every word they say seems contrived. This may indicate that the singer is afraid of being misunderstood or judged. They feel ashamed of their intentions and recognize that when they overthink, they tend to be unkind.
The singer then acknowledges their hypocrisy and delusion. They pretend to be nicer than they really are, and they complain about being bored while ignoring the privilege that comes with being bored. They also act like they are suffering when there is no real suffering involved. These behaviors are described as "first world problems" that breed in the singer's head. They recognize the ethical contradictions between their actions and their words, and ultimately feel like a "phoney" who is worse than they think.
The repeated refrain of "I am shit" is a direct and blunt statement of self-loathing. The use of nursery rhyme-inspired nonsense words in the second half of the refrain may indicate that the singer feels childish or immature. Overall, the lyrics suggest a deep sense of self-doubt and insecurity, as well as a desire to be more authentic and ethical.
Line by Line Meaning
Language is scary when over-analysed
When I think too hard about what I'm saying, it makes me nervous and afraid.
Every word that I say seems far too contrived
I worry that I sound fake and insincere when I speak.
What are your intentions? I'm ashamed by mine
I'm embarrassed to admit my motives because they are not pure.
When I'm thinking too much, I realise I'm unkind
Overthinking makes me realize that I'm not always nice or thoughtful.
Pretend that I'm nicer than I'll ever be
I try to act kinder and more compassionate than I really am.
I am selfish and deluded, enjoy my hypocrisy
I'm aware that I'm not as selfless as I should be, but I enjoy acting like I am.
Complain that I'm bored, when being bored is a privilege
I realize that my struggles are petty and insignificant compared to others.
Act like I'm suffering, there's no suffering in this
I pretend to experience pain and hardship when my life is actually quite comfortable.
First world problems, they breed in my head
I obsess over minor issues that are only relevant in a wealthy country.
Ethical contradictions between my actions and what I've said
I'm not always consistent in my beliefs and actions, which makes me feel like a hypocrite.
I should just shut my mouth as evidence piles against me
I feel like I should stop talking because the more I speak, the more obvious it is that I'm not a good person.
That I'm so much worse than I think, exposed as a phoney
I'm starting to realize that I'm not as good of a person as I thought, and that my true nature is being revealed.
I am shit, I am shit
I acknowledge that I am a bad person.
Nuh nuh nur nur, fucking dick
I express my self-loathing through profanity.
I am shit, I am shit
I repeat my admission of being a bad person.
Nuh nur nuh nur, nuh, nuh
I continue to express my disgust with myself through nonsensical sounds.
Contributed by Josiah Y. Suggest a correction in the comments below.