Crywank started in 2009 with Jay Clayton attempting to do some folk-punk influenced acoustic music with no previous experience playing guitar. The first album "James is going to die soon" was inspired by a painful break up. Jay stated that "I wrote these songs out of frustration and sadness and they ended up making me feel a lot better, I hope they have a similar effect on you".
In 2012 Crywank released their second album 'Narcissist On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown'. Described as "a collection of paranoid songs mostly about me trying to understand my own sadness along with the concept of sadness as a whole. It was fueled by self help books and pot."
In late 2012 Dan Watson joined Crywank on percussion, and in early 2013 they released tour demos for their third album 'Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday And Everyday Is Stupid' which was released in October 2013.
In 2016 Jay and Dan began couch surfing to afford to be able to tour as much as possible. Over the next four years they performed over 500 shows in over 30 countries and released four albums.
Crywank announced their breakup following a world tour in 2019, alongside the album ‘fist me til your hand comes out my mouth’’ a huge departure in sound and the first release to include songwriting from Dan and explained the tense relationship between Jay and Dan that had developed over the years on the road.
Their breakup tour was cut short by the COVID-19 pandemic and the North American and European dates had to be rescheduled numerous times. During this time Jay was in a house fire, which led to the release of a solo Crywank album ‘Just Popping In To Say Hi’ that was written and recorded over three days.
Between 2022-2023 Crywank managed to continue their final tour and performed 100 shows in the USA and over 50 shows in the UK and Ireland, often with bass player Jules Noel (AKA Guard Petal). In 2024 it was announced that Crywank will no longer be breaking up and Jules would be joining the band.
The name Crywank comes from reclaiming a cruel nickname given to Jay during a period of depression. Jay has since said that if they knew how popular the band would have become they probably would’ve chosen a different name.
If I Were You I'd Be Throwing Up
Crywank Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Too many holes to swim through
As to not offend the fish
Even if they do want you
Safer not to presume
Safer still to up and leave the room
Is even eye contact rude?
You'll never know that I noticed you.
Too gutless to even try this
Incase I'm met with a hostile silence
If I were you I'd be throwing up.
The lyrics from Crywank's song "If I Were You I'd Be Throwing Up" is a melancholic expression of crippling shyness and social anxiety. The opening lines, "The way I cast a net, too many holes to swim through," describes the inability to connect with people, and the fear of offending someone, even if they show interest in you. The next line, "Safer not to presume, safer still to up and leave the room," emphasizes the preference to avoid the situation rather than risking any potential embarrassment or disappointment.
The singer describes their habit of avoiding eye contact, concluding with the question, "Is even eye contact rude?" The last line, "You'll never know that I noticed you," highlights the feeling of self-doubt and the fear of putting oneself out there. The second verse, "Too gutless to even try this, in case I'm met with a hostile silence," further highlights the singer's hesitancy to take any actions and the fear of being rejected or mocked.
Overall, the hauntingly honest lyrics paint a vivid picture of someone who wishes to connect with others but is held back by their anxiety about perceived rejection.
Line by Line Meaning
The way I cast a net
My method of trying to connect with others is flawed or ineffective.
Too many holes to swim through
There are too many obstacles or barriers to overcome in order to make a real connection with someone.
As to not offend the fish
I'm too concerned with not upsetting others to the point where it's hindering my ability to socialize effectively.
Even if they do want you
Sometimes it's hard to tell if someone is genuinely interested in you or just being polite.
Safer not to presume
It's better to assume that someone isn't interested rather than risk being rejected or misunderstood.
Safer still to up and leave the room
It's safer to physically remove myself from a situation than risk social embarrassment or rejection.
Is even eye contact rude?
I'm so uncertain about social cues that I'm not sure if making eye contact is deemed as impolite or aggressive.
You'll never know that I noticed you.
I notice things about people and situations, but I'm too afraid to let anyone know.
Too gutless to even try this
I lack the courage or confidence to take a risk and try to connect with someone.
Incase I'm met with a hostile silence
I fear that my attempts to connect with someone will result in them rejecting me outright or making me feel unwelcome.
If I were you I'd be throwing up.
If I were in your shoes, I would be so anxious and overwhelmed by the prospect of trying to connect with me that I would feel physically ill.
Contributed by Zoe L. Suggest a correction in the comments below.