Harper Valley PTA
Dolly Parton Lyrics

I want to tell you all the story 'bout
I would like to share with you the tale about

A Harper Valley widowed wife
A woman who is a widow and resides in Harper Valley

Who had a teenage daughter
That had a daughter who was a teenager

That attended Harper Valley Junior High
And this daughter went to the local school called Harper Valley Junior High

Well, her daughter came home one afternoon
One day, her daughter returned home in the afternoon

And didn't even stop to play
And didn't waste any time playing or lingering

And she said, "mom, I got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA"
She told her mother, "Mom, I received a note from the Harper Valley Parent-Teacher Association"

Well, the note said, "Mrs. Johnson
The note read, "Dear Mrs. Johnson,

You're wearin' your dresses way too high
You've been wearing dresses that are much too revealing

It's been reported you've been drinking
People have told us that you have been consuming alcohol

And running round with men and goin' wild
And that you've been hanging out with men and behaving recklessly

Now we don't believe you ought to be bringin' up
We don't think that it's right for you to raise

Your little girl this way"
Your daughter in such an inappropriate manner"

And it was signed by the Secretary
And the signature was that of the Secretary'

Harper Valley PTA
Of the Harper Valley Parent-Teacher Association

Well, it happened that the PTA was gonna meet
As luck would have it, the Parent-Teacher Association was going to have a meeting

That very afternoon
That very same afternoon

And, boy, were they surprised
They were taken aback

When Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room
When Mrs. Johnson decided to wear a miniskirt into the meeting room

And as she walked up to the blackboard
And as she confidently approached the blackboard

I can still recall the words she had to say
I vividly remember the things she said

She said, "I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA
Mrs. Johnson said, "I would like to speak to the Harper Valley Parent-Teacher Association

Now, there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there
Bobby Taylor happens to be in attendance

And seven times he's asked me for a date
He has asked me out on a date seven times already

And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lotta ice
Mrs. Taylor sure uses a lot of ice in her drinks

Whenever he's away
Whenever her husband is not around

And Mr. Baker, can you tell us why
And Mr. Baker, perhaps you can enlighten us as to why

Your secretary had to leave this town?
Your secretary had to depart from this community?

And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep
Also, shouldn't widow Jones be instructed to keep

Her window shades all pulled completely down?
Her window shades completely drawn down?

Now, Mr. Harper couldn't be here
Unfortunately, Mr. Harper could not grace us with his presence today

'Cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
Because he spent too much time at Kelly's Bar once again

And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath
Furthermore, if anyone were to smell Shirley Thompson's breath

You'll find she's had a little nip of gin
They would ascertain that she's taken a small drink of gin

And then you have the nerve to tell me
And then you have the audacity to tell me

As a mother, you think that I ain't fit
As a mother, you believe that I am unsuitable

Well, this is just a little Peyton Place
Well, this seems like a small community full of drama and secrets

And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites"
And all of you are hypocrites of the Harper Valley community"

Now, I wouldn't put you on because it really did
I would never deceive you about this fact because it is actually true

It happened just this way
It occurred precisely as I have recounted it to you

That day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA
That day my mother confronted and upbraided the members of the Harper Valley Parent-Teacher Association

That day my mama socked it 'em at the Harper Valley PTA
That day my mother gave it to them straight at the Harper Valley Parent-Teacher Association