How to Be Dumb
Elvis Costello Lyrics


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I was hell-bent on destroying my powers of concentration
While you were living like a saint
And all the time the very one you trusted was washing off
Somebody else's paint

Now you've got yourself a brand new occupation
Every fleeting thought is a pearl
And beautiful people stampede to the doorway
Of the funniest fucker in the world

They're here to help you
Satisfy your desire
There's a bright future for all you professional liars

[Chorus]
Now you know how to be dumb
Are you ready to take your place in the modern museum of mistakes?
Don't you know how to be dumb?
Like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes

They emptied out all the asylums, they emptied out all the jails
The "new bruise" was the name of a dance craze
By "Jesus cross and the cruel nails"
Followed up by "torturing little beaver"
With their contraption of barbed wire
Between the fear and the fever lies all the rejection they require
They'll be howling by midnight, they'll be drooling by dawn
Skulls shrunk down to the size of their brains
Heads shaven and shorn

[Chorus]

Trapped in the house of the perpetual sucker
Where bitterness always ends so pitifully
You always had to dress up your envy in some half-remembered
Philosophy

Now you're masquerading as pale powdered genius
Whose ever bad intention has been purged
You could've walked out any time you wanted but face it you
Didn't have the courage
I guess that makes you a full time hypocrite or some kind of
Twisted dilettante
Funny though people don't usually get so ugly 'til they think
They know what they want
Scratch your own head stupid
Count up to three
Roll over on your back
Repeat after me

Don't you know how to be dumb?
Are you ready to take your place in the modern museum of mistakes?




Don't you know how to be dumb?
Like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Elvis Costello's "How to Be Dumb" are a scathing critique of society's obsession with success at any cost. The song begins with the singer admitting that he wanted to destroy his own powers of concentration, while someone else, presumably a friend, was living a virtuous life. However, the person he trusted was revealed to be a fraud, washing off somebody else's paint. The singer then takes aim at his own critics, ridiculing those who try to satisfy their desires by lying and manipulating others.


Costello's contempt for these people is palpable, as he compares them to inmates in asylums and jails who have been let loose on the world. He also mocks the dance craze of the "new bruise" and describes the fear and rejection that drives people to join these movements. Further, he expresses disdain for those who masquerade as geniuses but are really full-time hypocrites, twisting philosophy to suit their own ends.


The chorus of the song is a biting attack on society's obsession with success at any cost. The singer asks if his listeners know how to be dumb, and whether they are ready to take their place in the modern museum of mistakes. He describes this museum as a place where people are constantly trying to outdo each other in their stupidity and recklessness, like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes. In essence, the song is a call to reject the cult of success and to embrace a simpler, more honest way of life.


Line by Line Meaning

I was hell-bent on destroying my powers of concentration
I intentionally tried to ruin my focus and attention.


While you were living like a saint
You were living a virtuous and moral life.


And all the time the very one you trusted was washing off somebody else's paint
The person you trusted was covering up their true identity and pretending to be someone else.


Now you've got yourself a brand new occupation
You have found a new job or career for yourself.


Every fleeting thought is a pearl
You consider every brief idea or notion to be valuable and precious.


And beautiful people stampede to the doorway of the funniest fucker in the world
Attractive individuals flock to the entrance of the most amusing comedian on the planet.


They're here to help you satisfy your desire
They are present to assist you in fulfilling your wishes or cravings.


There's a bright future for all you professional liars
There is a prosperous career ahead for those who are skilled at being deceitful.


Now you know how to be dumb
You have learned how to act foolish or unintelligent.


Are you ready to take your place in the modern museum of mistakes?
Are you prepared to join the current collection of regrettable human errors?


Like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes
Like a structure erected spontaneously during a bizarre earthquake that moves in the opposite direction.


They emptied out all the asylums, they emptied out all the jails
All the mental health facilities and correctional institutions have been cleared out.


The "new bruise" was the name of a dance craze by "Jesus cross and the cruel nails"
The latest dance trend was called "new bruise", created by a group known as "Jesus cross and the cruel nails".


Followed up by "torturing little beaver" with their contraption of barbed wire
This was succeeded by a performance called "torturing little beaver", which involved using barbed wire as a tool.


Between the fear and the fever lies all the rejection they require
The combination of dread and excitement is enough to satisfy their need for rejection.


They'll be howling by midnight, they'll be drooling by dawn
They will be screaming and slobbering throughout the nighttime and sunrise.


Skulls shrunk down to the size of their brains, heads shaven and shorn
Their skulls have decreased in size to match their brains, and their heads have been shaved.


Trapped in the house of the perpetual sucker
Stuck in the home of someone who is always taken advantage of.


Where bitterness always ends so pitifully
In a place where resentment always results in a wretched outcome.


You always had to dress up your envy in some half-remembered philosophy
You frequently had to disguise your jealousy by using an incomplete or vague doctrine to justify it.


Now you're masquerading as pale powdered genius
Currently, you are disguising yourself as a pale and decorated intellectual.


Whose ever bad intention has been purged
Your former intention to do harm has been eliminated.


You could've walked out any time you wanted but face it you didn't have the courage
You had the option to leave at any moment but lacked the bravery to do so.


I guess that makes you a full-time hypocrite or some kind of twisted dilettante
That caustic characterizes you a chronic hypocrite or a colorful part-time art lover.


Funny though people don't usually get so ugly 'til they think they know what they want
Ironically, individuals don't typically become so unattractive until they believe they've discovered their passion.


Scratch your own head stupid
Ponder your own confusion and lack of wisdom.


Count up to three, roll over on your back
Count to three and then lie down on your back.


Repeat after me
Recite these same words after I say them.


Don't you know how to be dumb?
Don't you understand how to act foolish?


Like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes
Like a structure erected spontaneously during a bizarre earthquake that moves in the opposite direction.




Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: DECLAN MACMANUS

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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