If I Had...
Eminem Lyrics


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Life
By Marshal Mathers
What is life?
Life is like a big obstacle
In front of your optical to slow you down

And every time you think you gotten past it
It's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground
What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they really your enemies, with secret identities
And disguises, to hide they true colors
So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
They want to come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin'

What is money?
Money is what makes a man act funny
Money is the root of all evil
Money'll make them same friends come back around
Swearing that they was always down

What is life?
I'm tired of life
I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
I'm tired of committing so many sins
Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
Tired of never having any ends
Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and many things
I'm tired of this DJ playing your shit when he spins
Tired of not having a deal
Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel
Tired of drowning in my sorrow
Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo
I'm tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin' off
I'm tired of jobs startin' off at five fifty an hour
Then this boss wonders why I'm smartin' off
Tired of being fired every time I fart and cough
Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk
For this jerk breathing down my neck driving me berserk
I'm tired of using plastic silverware
Tired of working in Building Square
Tired of not being a millionaire
But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics

If I had a magic wand,
I'd make the world suck my dick
Without a condom on,
While I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
It wouldn't be enough,
Because I'd still be out
Robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass
For the whole world to kiss

I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor
Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store
I'm tired of not having a phone
Tired of not having a home
To have one in if I did have it on
Tired of not driving a B-M
Tired of not working at G-M, tired of wanting to be him
Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol P-M
Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum
Tired of not being on tour
Tired of fucking the same blond whore
After work in the back of a Contour
I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones
Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns

Tired of being stared at
I'm tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat
Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz
Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs
Tired of other rappers who ain't bringin' half the skill as me
Saying they wasn't feeling me when nobody's as ill as me
I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs
Tired of J-L-be saying "Where Hip-Hop Lives"

But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick
Without a condom on, while I'm on the john

If I had a million bucks
It wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out
Robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass
For the whole world to kiss
You know what I'm saying?
I'm tired of all of this bullshit
Telling me to be positive
How'm I 'sposed to be positive when I don't see shit positive?
Know what I'm sayin'?
I rap about shit around me, shit I see
Know what I'm sayin'?
Right now I'm tired of everything
Tired of all this player hating that's going on in my own city
Can't get no airplay, you know what I'm sayin'?
But ey, it's cool though, you know what I'm sayin'?




Just fed up
That's my word

Overall Meaning

Eminem’s “If I Had” is a song that explores the nature of life, friends, money and the difficulties that accompany them. Eminem gives his insight and perspective on life, which he sees as a massive obstacle that stands in front of everyone's optical to slow them down. Life, according to Eminem, is like a boomerang that comes back when you think you're over it and tackles you right to the ground. In the same vein, friends are people who pretend to be your allies, but they're actually your enemies with concealed identities and disguises. When you think they're close enough to be your brothers, they come back to stab you in the back.


Money, on the other hand, is the root of all evils, according to Eminem, and it changes people. Even the same friends who disappeared when you were in need might return, supporting they were always there for you. Eminem feels tired of life, of committing sins, and of always giving in to temptation. He is also tired of not having any ends, skinny friends with habits such as crack addiction, and lack of success. He is just sick of the bullshit without having a means of dealing with it.

Overall, Eminem is tired of his surroundings and the harsh realities of life that affect many people. He raps about the things that he sees and experiences in his environment. At the end of the song, he expresses his sentiments by saying he's fed up with everything around him, and there's no positivity in his reality.


Line by Line Meaning

Life is like a big obstacle
Life is full of challenges that hinder your progress.


In front of your optical to slow you down
These challenges are visible and obstruct your vision.


It's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground
Challenges come back stronger and knock you down.


Friends are people that you think are your friends
People you consider as friends may not be true friends.


But they really your enemies, with secret identities
These people are actually your foes, disguised to deceive you.


Money is what makes a man act funny
Money can change a person's behavior.


Money'll make them same friends come back around
Money can make false friends return, pretending to help.


I'm tired of life
I'm exhausted with life and its difficulties.


I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
I'm tired of fake friends who betray me after pretending to be my well-wisher.


I'm tired of committing so many sins
I'm guilty of many wrongful acts and tired of it.


Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
I'm tired of yielding to the temptation alcohol brings.


Tired of drowning in my sorrow
I'm sick of being unhappy and troubled.


Tired of being white trash, broke and always poor
I'm fatigued with poverty and feeling inferior.


If I had a million dollars I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had money, I'd use it to make the world alcoholic like me.


If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick Without a condom on, While I'm on the john
If I had ultimate power, I would make people worship me sexually.


If I had one wish I would ask for a big enough ass For the whole world to kiss
If I could have anything, I would wish for everyone to respect and admire me.




Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: JEFF BASS, MARK BASS, MARSHALL MATHERS

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Honour


on The Real Slim Shady

May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
They first were divorced, throwing' her over furniture (ah)
It's the return of the "ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said, nothing, you idiots
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha)
Feminist women love Eminem
"Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin' around, grabbing' his you-know-what
Flippin' the you-know-who"
"Yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what s going' on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
We ain't nothin' but mammals, well, some of us, cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee"
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (ah)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

I'm like a headtrip to listen to, 'cause I'm only giving' you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living' room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder, "how can
Kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"
It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
He could be working at Burger King, spitting' on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a fuck"
With his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

Ha ha, I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up

Noah


on Remember Me?

Remember me? S executions
Remember me? I have no remorse
Remember me? I'm high-powered
Remember me? I drop bombs like Hiroshima

For this one, they scream "X, you retarded?!"
'Cause I grab the mic and get down like syndrome
Hide and roam into the masses
Without boundaries, which qualifies me
For the term "universal" without no rehearsal
I leak words that's controversial
Like I'm not the one you wanna contest, see
'Cause I'll hit your ass like the train did that bitch
That got banned from TV, heavyweight getup
Hit you, watch your whole head split up
Loco is the motion, we comin' through
Hollow-tips is the lead the .45 threw

Remember me? Throw your guns in the air
Remember me? Slam, slam
Remember me? Nigga, back the fuck up
Remember me? Chka-chka-Onyx

Niggas that take no for an answer get told no
Yeah, I been told no, but it was more like "No! No! No!"
Life a bitch, met her, fuck you if you let her
Better come better than better to be a competitor
This vet is ahead of the shit, it's all redder, you deader and deader
A medic instead of the cheddars and credda
Settle vendetta with metal Beretta from ghetto to ghetto
Evidence, nope, never leave a shred of
I got the soul of every rapper in me, love me or hate me
My moms got raped by the industry and made me
I'm the illest nigga ever, I told you
I get more pussy than them dyke bitches Total
Want beef, nigga? Pfft, you better dead that shit
My name should be Can't-Believe-That-Nigga-Said-That-Shit
Probably sayin' he ain't a killer, but I'm killin' myself
Smoke death, fuck bitches raw on the kitchen floor
So think what I'ma do to you, have done to you
Got niggas in my hood who'd do that shit for a blunt or two
What you wanna do? Cocksuckers, we Glock busters
'Til the cops cuff us, gon' start ruckus and drop blockbusters
Round the clock hustlers, you cannot touch us
I'm gettin' wires, niggas wantin' me dead
Wantin' my head, you think it could be somethin' I said?

Remember me? I just don't give a fuck
Remember me? Yeah, fuck you too
Remember me? I'm low down and I'm shifty
Remember me? I'm Shady

When I go out, I'ma go out shootin'
I don't mean when I die, I mean when I go out to the club, stupid
I'm tryin' to clean up my fuckin' image
So I promised the fuckin' critics
I wouldn't say "fuckin'" for six minutes
(Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
My baby's mom, bitch made me an angry blonde
So I made me a song, killed her and put Hailie on
I may be wrong, I keep thinkin' these crazy thoughts
In my cranium, but I'm stuck with a crazy mom
(Is she really on as much dope as you say she's on?)
Came home and somebody must've broke in the back window
And stole two loaded machine guns and both of my trench coats
Six sick dreams of picnic scenes
Two kids, sixteen, with M-16s and ten clips each
And them shits reach through six kids each
And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets?!
Fuck that! Pfft, you faggots can vanish to volcanic ash
And reappear in hell with a can of gas and a match
Aftermath, Dre, grab the gat, show 'em where it's at
(What the fuck you starin' at, nigga?)

Don't you remember me?
Remember me?
Remember me?
Remember me? (Slim Shady!)

28Rivals


on Lose Yourself

@elchihuahua420 Damn bro, stay strong "You only get one shot don't miss your chance to blow." Don't let them bring you down in life and keep pushing

Noah


on Till ICollapse

Not Afraid

hope


on The Real Slim Shady

hi

eminem


on Crazy In Love

great song

serenity noble


on Lose Yourself

awesome

serenity noble


on The Real Slim Shady

awesome

serenity noble


on Lose Yourself

i love it
#eminemfan

Mind Space Apocalypse


on ShadyXV

Greatest of all time

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