He had appeared as a solo artist and as the emcee half of the duo Eyedea & Abilities (along with long-time friend and collaborator DJ Abilities). His non-battle rhymes were generally very philosophically or thematically based, and often tell a definite narrative. His song "Bottle Dreams" is a well known piece about a young sexually abused violin prodigy who commits suicide.
For much of his youth, Eyedea lived with his mother in downtown St. Paul, MN. He attended Highland Park High School, with interests including psychology, physics, and yoga. Favorite authors include James Joyce, and Finnegan's Wake is a favourite text of his.
First establishing himself as battle emcee, Eyedea toured the circuit between 1997 and 2001, notably winning top prizes at Scribble Jam ‘99, the Rock Steady Anniversary 2000, and Blaze Battle Chicago 2000. He also toured extensively as second emcee for Atmosphere, with DJ Abilities sometimes filling in for Mr. Dibbs as tour DJ.
In 2001, he released "First Born" with his partner DJ Abilities (collectively, they were initially called the Sixth Sense, but more recently were known as Eyedea and Abilities). In 2002, under his pen name "Oliver Hart," he released the self-produced The Many Faces of Oliver Hart. In 2004, he and Abilities reunited to release the self-titled E&A (released March 23, 2004). All of Eyedea's releases have been on the Rhymesayers record label.
In addition to touring independently and with Rhymesayers labelmates, Eyedea and Abilities participated in the Def Jux-sponsored Who Killed the Robots? tour.
In 2006, Eyedea temporarily abandoned hip-hop writing and battle rapping for a new rock music project entitled Carbon Carousel.
As well as performing with Carbon Carousel, Eyedea and others had started a group called Face Candy. They released an album full of freestyles over free jazz percussion entitled This Is Where We Were.
He was signed to Rhymesayers Entertainment, and frequently collaborated with Slug, Blueprint and Sage Francis.
Eyedea died in his sleep on October 16, 2010 in his St. Paul apartment.[17] He was found dead by his mother, according to a friend.[18] Cause of death was released November 18, 2010 and ruled an accident, from respiratory depression, caused by opiate derivatives, according to the Ramsey County Medical Examiner's Office. The specific drugs found in Larsen's system have not been revealed to the public.[19]
Various hip-hop artists went on their Twitter accounts to pay their tribute to him, such as Immortal Technique, Mac Lethal, El-P and P.O.S, among others.[20][21][22][23][24]
On December 25, 2013, it was announced on Eyedea & Abilities' Facebook page[25] that a star was registered under the name Eyedea to commemorate Larsen on the web site Online Star Register.[26]
Fellow hip-hop artist and friend Murs paid homage to Eyedea on his track "I Miss Mikey" on his album Have a Nice Life. Also, the song "Flicker" from the album Southsiders by Atmosphere where Slug describes different sides of Eyedea and their relationship can be called a eulogy.[27][28] In 2013, The Uncluded, a collaboration between folk punk singer Kimya Dawson and hip hop artist Aesop Rock paid tribute to Eyedea in the song "Bats" from their album Hokey Fright.[29] Additionally, the songs "Michael" from the album Flowers for My Father, by Sadistik, "Toast to the dead" from the album The Martyr by Immortal Technique, and "Great Eyedeas Never Die", from the album King No Crown by Blueprint, are also tributes to Eyedea. [30]
Even Shadows have Shadows
Eyedea Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Burned every bridge over the troubled water
No longer hiding from my personality disorder
A stronger tide is coming and I've been running
Trying to function fine with out my mind
Climbing out this fucking corner
I was born a thorn away from the rotten petals
Passed through the absence of parentally hands
To develop an evident level of benevolence
So it's probably better I sold my sold to the devil
This is a message to anyone I met that thinks they know me
Don't pretend to understand any of the issues that I'm holding
I was in a rush to grow up, look Mom no cuts
Just a stomach in disgust, and the fear
That I might go nuts this year
If I don't swell up I'll see you one my way
One day this shit'll kill me but I guess that it's OK
I've lost all fate in a world so full of hate
I don't fucking love music I just use it to escape
I'm caught between wanting to punch someone in the face
And putting a bullet in my head to leave the human race
Everything takes its toll but there's no tolls I can take
I haven't yet found a good reason to be awake
Introducing the corroded bumps I had behind my smile
I'm angry at the universe for the way she treats me now
And keeps me down, stealing all my energy
I'm feeling like my enemy, concealing my identity
Not dealing with my tendencies
I peel the skin and then I squeeze
The real imprinted Hanse's disease
Not human in this century, I'm ill until the entity
Who built this penitentiary, It's filthy as a centipede
And guilt was in his sense cause he was willing to
Just let me breathe, While I wore a game face
In 10 years don't check for me I'll be in the same place
This planet is just an overpopulated mental hospital
Each zombie walks around constitutes another obstacle
So here it is I'm finally coming out my shell
All 19 years of my life have been in conflict with myself
I'm insecure by every facet of the existence
From my addictions, to the conditions I choose to live in
Who you kidding I suffer from excess anxiety
A product of pollution in American society
Stare into my eyes and see the hell that burns inside my mind
And I no longer have an ego I can hide behind
But I've been trying disregarding my insanity
Every form of hurt isolates me from humanity
But it's provoked against being force fed
So Fuck education for a decade and 3 years
Of headaches from my peers
Cause now I realize I could have learned more on my own
They taught me how to know everything except my soul
Which is everything I need to grow
Everything that keeps me whole
Everything that ever meant anything to Eyedea
So I leave with golden hope
To rip the beast that holds my focus
But the fact remains the same, I'm still bound by chains
It doesn't matter if your chain is 10 ft or 100 ft
The fact remains the same, you're still bound by chains
So people say I've changed, and it's harder to relate to me
Good, I never liked you our friendship was make believe
I'm peeling the mask back and revealing the rap thespian
Feeling my organs drilling distorted short portions
Of morbid acid keeps the torture unfortunately crafted
Interests to orbit my portrait and inflict my image with disorder
The minutes get shorter, the walls start to close in
Feels like the brain is hanging on but with clothes pins
I've hidden in the darkness for too long
I make it look all right but in the inside its so wrong
I want life to change but I don't know if it can
For a man or machine or whatever the fuck I am
I stand alone burned every bridge over the trouble water
No longer hiding from my personality disorder
You want to die in my life then come and stay
In madness' favorite little corner
Cause even Shadows have Shadows
And my secrets are eating me eagerly feeding
I scream in my dreams Away but they keep on defeating me
Even Shadows have Shadows
Welcome to the dusty subconscious of an actor
Who murdered his childhood to stop the audience's laughter
Even Shadows have Shadows
I'm about to break free from my fears
When I don't like what I see
And I can't feel what I hear
Even Shadows have Shadows
So don't judge a book by it's cover
Cause my story is fucked up as any other!
The lyrics of the song "Even Shadows have Shadows" by Eyedea are a reflection of his personal struggles with his personality disorder, anxiety, and his search for personal identity. The first verse portrays his feelings of isolation and his attempts to escape the confined corners of his mind. He deals with feelings of anger, self-doubt, and the burden of his overwhelming life experiences. He conveys his frustration with existence and his disillusionment with the world around him. The chorus states that even shadows have shadows, which means that everyone has their own inner demons and struggles with self-acceptance.
In the second verse, he talks about his journey of self-discovery and how he has sold his soul to the devil. He confronts the people who think they know him and asks them not to pretend to understand his issues. He expresses how he is caught between wanting to punch someone and ending his own life. The verses describe his struggle with finding a good reason to be alive and how music is an escape for him.
The bridge of the song speaks to his personal struggles with anxiety and addiction, characterizes his soul-searching journey, and his frustration with the education system. He talks about how education failed him and how he could have learned more on his own. He regrets not learning more about his soul, which is what brings him inner peace and fulfillment.
Line by Line Meaning
I stand alone
I am by myself, without support or companionship
Burned every bridge over the troubled water
I have cut ties with everyone and everything that causes me distress and pain
No longer hiding from my personality disorder
I have stopped pretending and concealing my mental illness
A stronger tide is coming and I've been running
A more challenging situation is approaching and I have been trying to avoid it
Trying to function fine without my mind
Attempting to appear normal and functional despite my troubled thoughts and emotions
Climbing out this fucking corner
Escaping from a difficult and trapped position
I was born a thorn away from the rotten petals
I was born with inherent flaws, separated from the decaying beauty of life
A forgotten rebel
An overlooked individual who rebels against societal expectations
Passed through the absence of parentally hands
Grew up without the nurturing guidance and care of parents
To develop an evident level of benevolence
To cultivate a noticeable sense of kindness and compassion
So it's probably better I sold my sold to the devil
Perhaps it is better that I made a pact with darkness and embraced my inner demons
This is a message to anyone I met that thinks they know me
I want to convey to anyone who believes they understand me
Don't pretend to understand any of the issues that I'm holding
Do not fake comprehension of the problems and challenges I am dealing with
I was in a rush to grow up, look Mom no cuts
I was eager to mature quickly, showing off my lack of physical harm
Just a stomach in disgust, and the fear
But internally, I feel disgusted and fearful
That I might go nuts this year
Afraid that my mental state might deteriorate further
If I don't swell up I'll see you one my way
If I do not emotionally break down, I will continue on my journey
One day this shit'll kill me but I guess that it's OK
One day these struggles may lead to my demise, but strangely, I am somewhat fine with that
I've lost all faith in a world so full of hate
I no longer believe in humanity due to its abundance of hostility
I don't fucking love music I just use it to escape
I do not have a genuine love for music, I simply utilize it as a means of escapism
I'm caught between wanting to punch someone in the face
I am torn between the desire to physically harm someone as an outlet for my frustrations
And putting a bullet in my head to leave the human race
And contemplating suicide as a means of escaping the pain and cruelty of existence
Everything takes its toll but there's no tolls I can take
Everything has its consequences, but there are no actions I can take to relieve my burdens
I haven't yet found a good reason to be awake
I have yet to discover a compelling motivation to remain conscious and engaged with life
Introducing the corroded bumps I had behind my smile
Presenting the hidden emotional scars and struggles that lurk beneath my seemingly happy facade
I'm angry at the universe for the way she treats me now
I harbor resentment towards the universe for its current treatment of me
And keeps me down, stealing all my energy
And how it continuously suppresses me, draining away all my vitality
I'm feeling like my enemy, concealing my identity
I feel as though I am in conflict with myself, hiding who I truly am
Not dealing with my tendencies
Avoiding confronting and addressing my inclinations and habits
I peel the skin and then I squeeze
I metaphorically strip away the protective layers and explore my inner turmoil
The real imprinted Hanse's disease
The genuine, deep-rooted illness that has infected my being
Not human in this century, I'm ill until the entity
I do not feel like a typical human in this era, I am unwell until my existence
Who built this penitentiary, It's filthy as a centipede
The one responsible for constructing this metaphorical prison, which is as repugnant as a centipede
And guilt was in his sense cause he was willing to
And guilt is evident because he was willing to create this oppressive environment
Just let me breathe, While I wore a game face
Allow me to have some respite, even though I disguise my true emotions behind a false persona
In 10 years don't check for me I'll be in the same place
Do not expect me to have made progress in the next decade, for I will likely still be stagnating
This planet is just an overpopulated mental hospital
I perceive the world as a overcrowded asylum for troubled minds
Each zombie walks around constitutes another obstacle
Every emotionally numb individual wandering about presents another barrier to overcome
So here it is I'm finally coming out my shell
Now, I am finally emerging from my withdrawn and introverted state
All 19 years of my life have been in conflict with myself
Throughout my entire 19 years of existence, I have been engaged in an internal struggle
I'm insecure by every facet of the existence
I lack confidence in every aspect of my being
From my addictions, to the conditions I choose to live in
Starting from my harmful dependencies, to the unfavorable circumstances I willingly subject myself to
Who you kidding I suffer from excess anxiety
Who are you trying to fool? I experience an overwhelming amount of anxiety
A product of pollution in American society
I am a result of the toxic environment within American society
Stare into my eyes and see the hell that burns inside my mind
If you gaze into my eyes, you will witness the torment and anguish that consumes my thoughts
And I no longer have an ego I can hide behind
I no longer possess a self-defense mechanism to shield my vulnerability
But I've been trying disregarding my insanity
Nevertheless, I have been attempting to ignore and overlook my own madness
Every form of hurt isolates me from humanity
Every kind of pain and suffering further separates me from the rest of humanity
But it's provoked against being force fed
However, it is instigated by the act of being forcefully fed information or ideas
So Fuck education for a decade and 3 years
Thus, I hold contempt towards traditional education throughout a significant period of my life
Of headaches from my peers
Caused by the persistent troubles brought upon by my peers
Cause now I realize I could have learned more on my own
Because now I am aware that I could have gained more knowledge and growth independently
They taught me how to know everything except my soul
They instructed me on various subjects, but failed to guide me in understanding my true self
Which is everything I need to grow
My soul encompasses everything necessary for my personal development
Everything that keeps me whole
Everything that preserves my sense of completeness and fulfillment
Everything that ever meant anything to Eyedea
All the aspects that have held significant value to Eyedea's identity
So I leave with golden hope
Consequently, I depart with a sense of optimistic anticipation
To rip the beast that holds my focus
To dismantle the monster that dominates my attention and concentration
But the fact remains the same, I'm still bound by chains
However, the truth remains constant: I am still restrained and imprisoned by my struggles
It doesn't matter if your chain is 10 ft or 100 ft
The length of your chains, whether 10 feet or 100 feet, is insignificant
The fact remains the same, you're still bound by chains
Regardless, the reality persists: you are still trapped and limited by your personal hardships
So people say I've changed, and it's harder to relate to me
People claim that I have transformed, making it more difficult for them to connect with me
Good, I never liked you our friendship was make believe
Well, to be honest, I never truly enjoyed your company, our friendship was merely fictional
I'm peeling the mask back and revealing the rap thespian
I am removing the facade and exposing the true nature of the hip-hop performer
Feeling my organs drilling distorted short portions
Experiencing a sensation as if my organs are being drilled into, causing distorted and fragmented portions
Of morbid acid keeps the torture unfortunately crafted
Sections of painfully corrosive acid contribute to the creation of this unfortunate torment
Interests to orbit my portrait and inflict my image with disorder
Interests and concerns revolve around my portrayal, causing my image to be tainted with chaos and disarray
The minutes get shorter, the walls start to close in
Time feels increasingly limited, while the feeling of confinement intensifies
Feels like the brain is hanging on but with clothes pins
It seems as though the brain is barely clinging on, held in place by flimsy clothespins
I've hidden in the darkness for too long
I have spent an excessive amount of time concealing myself in darkness
I make it look all right but on the inside it's so wrong
Externally, I appear fine, but internally, things are severely disrupted
I want life to change but I don't know if it can
I desire for my life to transform, but I am uncertain if such a transformation is achievable
For a man or machine or whatever the fuck I am
Whether you consider me a human or a machine, or whatever the hell I am
Even Shadows have Shadows
Even the darkest parts of ourselves have hidden depths and complexities
And my secrets are eating me eagerly feeding
My concealed truths are devouring me, eagerly consuming my being
I scream in my dreams Away but they keep on defeating me
I shout, attempting to escape from my nightmares, but they persist in overpowering me
Even Shadows have Shadows
Even the darkest parts of ourselves have hidden depths and complexities
Welcome to the dusty subconscious of an actor
Enter into the neglected and forgotten depths of the mind of a performer
Who murdered his childhood to stop the audience's laughter
Someone who sacrificed their innocence and joy in order to silence the ridicule and mockery of onlookers
Even Shadows have Shadows
Even the darkest parts of ourselves have hidden depths and complexities
I'm about to break free from my fears
I am on the verge of liberating myself from my anxieties
When I don't like what I see
At times when I am dissatisfied with the reflection of myself
And I can't feel what I hear
When I am unable to emotionally connect with the things I hear
Even Shadows have Shadows
Even the darkest parts of ourselves have hidden depths and complexities
So don't judge a book by its cover
Therefore, refrain from forming judgments based solely on appearances
Cause my story is fucked up as any other!
Because my narrative is as messed up as anyone else's!
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Submit to Jesus!
I used to listen to Eyedea religiously. Most people who happened to be in my car shrugged him off. I thought I was all alone with my Eyedea love. Glad to see there are others who appreciate what an amazing artist he was.
damienamarty
I started listening to Eyedea when I was just turned sixteen and a ball of hormones and hate and confusion. His music, his lyricism and his pure and raw intellect channeled a feeling in me that I couldn't put into words. My life is not a mirror of his, but that gut feeling of disappointed, anger, violence and sadness reverberated with me in a way that made me calm. I'm 21, and I have lost a friend who saw me through hard times. I think we all have. Rest in peace, Micheal.
Clay G.
Few songs are perfection from beginning to end, this song should be compared to a Michelangelo masterpiece painting because its construction is meticulous, emotional, and visceral.
Nick F
"In ten years don't check for me, I'll be in the same place." Ten years after releasing this song, he was dead. It's so eerie to think about how someone can say or do something that almost makes you wonder if they've purposefully foreshadowed their own death. RIP Eyedea, trying to interpret his music is truly amazing.
Alex Schotten
a dude once told me "eyedea didnt die...dudes just moved on to the next level" his mind was too great for us
dipmuthafukinset
anyone else get goosebumps when they listen to eyedea.
mattroom
Eyedea turning down the record offer is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. It's a man staying true to his own values, uncompromised. Brings me to tears knowing beautiful people like him exist in this world.
Bob Saget
This is a god dam masterpeace, I can't even begin to explain the genius of this song. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks like this. What a great fucking man... I would give anything to smoke with eyedea and abilitys
GARGOYLE GARDENS
Every line hits home on a personal level, had to get the title tatted on the arm. R.EYE.P!!! Legends never die
MrCujo956
R.I.P Eyedea; this song is proof that underground rappers are way to damn underated, this man had a unbielive mind filled with so much skill. I wish that i could have met this man to express my opinions, and get lyrical insight from him his music is and always will be incredible