Stockholm
Feldup Lyrics

I failed last night, again
Once again, I experienced a failure last night

And all my friends are going to sleep
Meanwhile, all of my friends are going to sleep, leaving me feeling alone

I'm five days past my birthday party
It has been five days since my birthday celebration

But I never really thought about it
However, I have never truly reflected upon it or its significance

I never realized how stupid it was
I was oblivious to the foolishness of my actions

It didn't stop me from drinking
Despite this realization, it did not prevent me from consuming alcohol

Or from creating a tinder account
Nor did it deter me from setting up a tinder account

Or from ever matching with anyone
However, I have never successfully matched with another individual

Ooooooooh
An expression of emotion or emphasis

I still get bad thoughts in the subway
Even now, negative thoughts plague my mind while I'm in the subway

I still think about you everyday
Everyday, thoughts of you continue to occupy my mind

I still think I'm a toxic friend
I continue to believe that I am a harmful presence in the lives of my friends

I still want to see all of them
Despite this, I still desire to spend time with all of them

There is no cure
Unfortunately, there is no solution or remedy

I am the disease
I, myself, am the source of the problem or affliction

So now that I've blown the candles
Now that I have extinguished the candles on my birthday cake

I realize I couldn't handle
I now understand that I was incapable of dealing with

Their looks and their giggles
The way they looked at me and their laughter

Pressuring me to pop a bottle
Pushing me to open a bottle of alcohol

Took a look at your place
I observed your living space

Saw you hid all the mess
I noticed you had concealed the untidiness

To fake that it was clean
In order to pretend that it was tidy or organized

You know how messy I can be
You are aware of the chaotic nature I possess

I still think you lied to me
I continue to believe that you have deceived me

Comforted me with your fantasies
You provided me solace through your imaginative tales

Telling me that one day
Assuring me that in the future

We'll get away
We will escape or find a better situation

I'm not my parents' son
I do not conform to the expectations of my parents

I was born in an ocean
I came into existence within a vast body of water

An ocean of marketing schemes
This ocean symbolizes the multitude of marketing tactics

That worked on me perfectly
These strategies had a flawless impact on me

I'm in a car that only accelerates
Metaphorically, I find myself in a situation that only becomes increasingly fast-paced

But I think they removed the brakes
However, I suspect the brakes have been taken away, leaving me without a means to slow down or stop

Try to find a home in a battlefield
Attempting to establish a sense of belonging within a chaotic and hostile environment

Kept under a giant metal shield
Protected beneath a massive shield made of metal

Try to pay your debts and try to forget
Struggling to repay debts while simultaneously attempting to erase or disregard them from memory

Did they actually want us to feel depressed
Were they intentionally aiming for us to experience feelings of sadness or unhappiness?

Speeding
Proceeding at a high speed

Speeding
Continuing to move rapidly

Speeding
Accelerating further

The train
Referring to the train mentioned in previous lines

Until my inevitable death
Until the point in time when I will inevitably cease to exist

Maybe we could have seen colors if we weren't all colorblind
Perhaps if we did not possess the inability to perceive colors, we would have been able to experience and appreciate them

I gotta feed my kids but when it'll collapse it won't matter... really...
I have the responsibility of providing for my children, but when everything eventually falls apart, it will ultimately hold no significance or importance... truly...

Sometimes my shoulders feel so heavy, I wanna give up
Occasionally, the weight upon my shoulders becomes so burdensome that I feel tempted to surrender or quit

Sometimes stopping the fight's... - It's tempting
At times, the allure of ending the struggle is enticing

It took us years to get to this point
We spent a significant amount of time reaching this stage or situation

We never knew why we wanted it
However, we were never truly aware of the reasons behind our desires for it

People have grown up since
Individuals have matured or developed emotionally since then

I've been stuck on my past mistakes
Personally, I have been fixated on the errors I made in the past

A few little things
Several minor occurrences or details

Some words I shouldn't have said
Certain words that I should not have uttered

Or shouldn't have sung
Or melodies that I should not have performed

And shouldn't have erased
Additionally, I should not have deleted or eliminated certain aspects

I'm in love with my abusers
Regrettably, I am infatuated or deeply attached to those who have caused me harm

Isolation is a deadly weapon
The state of being alone and isolated can have detrimental effects

I woke up one day
One day, I suddenly became conscious or aware

I couldn't walk nor could I stand
However, I found myself unable to move or stand up

My body couldn't resist
My physical being was incapable of fighting back

Now I think I understand
Now, I believe I comprehend or grasp the situation

Jerome are you still proud of me ?
I wonder, Jerome, are you still proud of me?

Take care of Karen please...
Please, ensure that Karen is taken care of...

There is no cure
Unfortunately, there is no remedy or solution

I am the disease
I myself am the cause or manifestation of the problem or affliction