Holy Driver
Hail Mary Mallon Lyrics

Big Red son of bald shortcut caper
A description of a person with red hair who is the offspring of someone who uses shortcuts in their life, but is bald.

Highway humming daughter orange containers
The daughter of someone who hums on the highway, who sees orange shipping containers.

Lights on the runway order Captain Kramer
The orderly procession of lights on a runway as seen by someone who thinks of the TV show Seinfeld's Captain Kramer while observing the spectacle.

Holding his tea and his cheek since brain age
Someone who has held onto the habit of holding their tea and cheek since childhood.

Cargo S.S. minaret cheaper
A cheaper option for cargo transportation via a ship with a minaret structure.

Neon read out on a Cineplex feature
Advertisement for a movie at a Cineplex with neon signs outside.

Boom it in your sleeper and you said its only speakers
Loud music is played while someone is asleep, causing them to only perceive the sound as coming from the singers and not a combination of the singers and their surroundings.

Pigs on his wheels like the pepperoni pizzas
Someone who has pig-shaped hubcaps on their car, like pepperoni pizzas.

Start a wrong place wrong time club, might get
A suggestion to start a club where people frequently end up in the wrong place at the wrong time, potentially leading to trouble.

Two peace fingers threw an A-ok sign fucked
Someone making a peace sign and an A-ok sign with their fingers after having engaged in sexual activity.

Lime green crooked alpine flying white doves
Someone seeing a distorted lime green Alpine car while observing white doves in flight.

Objects in the mirror made of daisy chained light bulbs
The objects in a car's rearview mirror reflecting light in a pattern resembling daisy chains.

Safe escape cornered by the cemetery death bells
A situation where someone is trapped with the sound of death bells from a nearby cemetery ringing around them.

Breathe held in his head he donkey with the red shells
Someone holding their breath in their head while thinking of a donkey with red shells.

Partially responsible for a string of wonky fish tales
Someone who is partially responsible for a series of exaggerated, implausible stories about fish.

Party on or get your corporate chem trailed
A warning to either continue partying or risk being exposed to chemicals from a corporation's trail.

Jam with jelly blip wipe the screen off
Someone who plays music accompanied by jelly, with a brief interruption to wipe a screen clean.

Spaceball grey walls 8 track t-ball
A description of a room with grey walls that has an 8-track player and a tee-ball set.

From Cletus to the Jesus had breathe and teeth gone
A reference to people with missing teeth and bad breath, ranging from someone named Cletus to Jesus Christ.

Couple missing fingers and a lap full of cheap porn
Someone who is missing a few fingers and has a lap filled with inexpensive pornography.

Born on the 4th on a bayou near boom town
Someone born on July 4th near a booming town on a bayou.

Never getting sweet please peep the way the broom sound
A request to observe the sound of broom bristles sweeping instead of offering something sweet.

Tweaking leaking boozehound eager to leave his roof down
Someone who is intoxicated and anxious to leave the roof of a building down.

Peanut Reese's, Cheetos, and Visas for Mrs. Noose Bound
Offering Peanut Reese's, Cheetos, and Visas as payment for someone named Mrs. Noose Bound.

I'm liar, I'm a nuisance, I'm a fighter acting mulish
Someone who admits to being a liar, a nuisance, and a fighter who behaves stubbornly.

I'm a licensed zoning pilot, went to drivers ed with Toonces
Someone who is a licensed pilot for land use planning who took driver's education alongside a fictional cat named Toonces.

And early in the morning bore witness to the pie cut
Someone saw the pie being cut early in the morning.

Swerve on serving medium that Christian side hug
A reference to avoiding meat that's cooked to a medium level of doneness in favor of a Christian side hug.

Bird dog middle of the street chicken in its teeth
Someone saw a dog in the middle of the road with a chicken in its teeth.

Shirt gone caught allure before the first furlong
Someone lost their shirt and caught the attention of others before a horse racing furlong was completed.

Periscope up, meter maid pissy
A request to lift a periscope while a meter maid expresses anger.

I will see you in the tedious DNA of the city
A statement about how the artist will encounter the person they are speaking to throughout the mundane characteristics of the city's DNA.

Jerky on his jaw line, raw hide Toro
Someone has a defined jawline and resembles a rawhide bull named Toro.

Z's in his alphabet soup stop more chose
Someone who has the letter Z in their alphabet soup, but it leads them to choose more of the soup.

Squirrely early bird giving away the Morse code
A description of someone who is anxious and talks excessively, giving off the impression that they are used to transmitting Morse code.

Minivan kiddie hand mimic the way his horn blow
A child in a minivan who imitates the way the horn sounds when it is honked.

Mouth full of spit, belly full of the Jager cramps
Someone with a mouth full of saliva and an upset stomach from consuming Jägermeister.

Hot sauce wings and things that crawl in his raisin bran
Someone ate spicy chicken wings and found things crawling in their bowl of raisin bran cereal.

Green light, yellow light, headlamp header
The lights of a traffic signal changing from green to yellow, accompanied by the glow of a car's headlamps.

Holy drive by Batman, hand gestures
A remark in the style of Batman's Robin, referring to a surprising drive-by event with hand gestures.

I escape New York like watching King Kong backwards
A reference to escaping New York City like watching the 1933 film King Kong in reverse.

And you will know us by the trail of baffled dog catchers
A declaration of how someone will be recognized, by leaving a trail of confused dog catchers behind them.

On tippy toes or gigantic nets swinging Baryshnikovs
Someone is seen moving on their toes or on a large net, likened to dancers like Mikhail Baryshnikov.

Patterns like a final level peeled back to the mini boss
The creation of complex patterns resembles a final level before the appearance of a weaker mini boss.

Biggie on BLS itchy palm feet are sweat
Someone's hands and feet are sweating while listening to rapper The Notorious B.I.G. on a radio station called BLS.

Skidding in a ticking bomb shitty bricks Jesus fish
Someone is skidding in a dangerous way like a ticking bomb, while having a Jesus fish and driving a car made of subpar materials.

Bumper stickers everywhere, his other car's a sinking ship
Someone has many bumper stickers and jokes about their other non-existent car being a sinking ship.

My kid made the honor roll, your kid is a piece of shit
A statement of pride over one's child's academic achievement that is followed by an insult toward someone else's child.