Talk Love
J.d. Smooth Lyrics

What the hell did I do wrong, what the fuck did I do to deserve this
I was broken for so long, what the fuck can I do to preserve this
I think that this might be the end, you'll never see me again
No I don't wanna be your friend, it fucking kills me when
You talk about love just to throw it away
And you throw that word around it takes control of me and
You talk about love just to throw it away just to throw it away
Just to throw it away
I think that this might be the end, I'll never see you again
You talk about love just to throw it away just to throw it away

Just to throw it away
I push and you pull away,
You left my heart so empty
My memories left to replay,
You said you fucking loved me
Down a bottle of alcohol I do not care at all
Maybe its all for the better
Found myself in a place where I cannot escape
And I'm bound to your love, got me tethered
You talk about love just to throw it away
And you throw that word around it takes control of me and
You talk about love just to throw it away just to throw it away
Just to throw it away
I think that this might be the end, I'll never see you again
You talk about love just to throw it away just to throw it away
Just to throw it away
You talk about love just to throw it away
And you throw that word around it takes control of me and
You talk about love just to throw it away just to throw it away
Just to throw it away
I think that this might be the end, I'll never see you again
You talk about love just to throw it away just to throw it away
Just to throw it away
(Woah-woah-Woah)
(Woah-woah-Woah)

Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

Written by: Jeremy Bailey, Samuel Romano

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

To comment on or correct specific content, highlight it

TRACKS

Genre not found

Artist not found

Album not found

Search results not found

Song not found

Comments from YouTube:

Simone

9y↑39

I literally love this video! As a Black female, professional living in NY city and in general a lover of people, I find these awkward conversations happen so often. I love this new platform and way to discuss and consider race talks! Thank you Jay!

SouthBayJay

@Laurie Berry your*

Laurie Berry

Simone, why put you’re race down? I put down refuse to answer.

Laurie Berry

We are all working here.

Tebigong101

10y↑9

I watch this and thoughts start to take shape. That while the systemic structural issues that Jay Smooth speaks of towards the end of the video will always require our efforts and labor it is these social mines that he talked about in his videos that can teach us all something about ourselves and our work towards dismantling the larger structures.

Conversations about things that are seemingly insignificant or ephemeral like John Mayer's racial preference, Colton Haynes blackface, or Justin Bieber and One Directions use of the n-word. These moments can provide us insight into nuanced, ingrained, unconscious racism and privilege we can study. How these individuals perform acts of subtle anti-blackness, not motivated by hate but sometimes ignorance and how our own prejudices can affect how or if we respond to them.

bravebird16

12y↑32

Jay Smooth is asking us to address racist comments by focusing on what the person SAID... not what the person is. well intentioned ppl make mistakes... lets talk about (and not avoid) these conversations... it will help us reach common ground and build understanding/awareness. this is constructive, thoughtful advice... thanks Jay Smooth.

HonestWanderings

10y↑9

This video literally changed my life. I'm writing a blog about it right now. I'll share it here when it's done, if anyone's interested. Thank you Jay Smooth! You're awesome. You're Incredibly patient and empathic toward people who are not empathic toward you.

Bethsaida Romelus

10y↑1

What kind of blog?

1 More Replies...

Sven who reservedly dares to hope Schofield

11y↑4

Congrats to Jay Smooth on his speech at TED. It continues to be rewarding to see your work in live, raw footage. Seemed as though you maybe arrived at the bit about "racism in your teeth" live onstage. Whether or not, it was cool. Again, congrats.

Bacalhoeira

11y↑6

This is so incredibly awesome! The idea of "shifting from the tonsils- to the dental hygiene-paradigm" is blowing my mind and will - hopefully - have a lasting effect on my approach to "being a good person". Anyone who liked this talk should check out Jay Smooth's vlog ill doctrine here on youtube. This man is full of wisdom, wit and love for humanity. All the best to you, Jay!

ckyrico

12y↑1

EXCELLENT talk, Jay! A super fresh topic to be discussed this way on TED. I hope you do more in the future

Joseph Blackett

12y↑4

very good speech. It's one thing to post an edited video and it's another to speak candidly in front of a room of people. I've always enjoyed your videos and respect your opinions and this just added a bit more to that. Very good job.

Nan Zingrone

8y↑4

This is such a great talk! Looking for more videos by him.

redmoonxstudios

12y↑1

You are my go-to person for all things dealing with race issues in America and furthering the discussion on how to have said discussion with civility. You're awesome and I love you for it. Keep it up, Jay!

Anu Addanki

4y↑16

Refreshing and relevant to the current conversation. Thank you for this perspective!

Trott Lee

11y

This was such a great speech. It's disappointing when greatness can inspire ignorance....

Nolan Harris Jr.

12y↑1

A cogent case for negotiating such a social, political and emotional morass as race relations with more introspective caution and mutual understanding. Kudos Jay Smooth!

Stormchild

11y↑2

Beautiful, brilliant talk. Refreshingly insightful. So good. Thanks Jay.

weesh

10y↑25

such an honest and refreshing talk with a kick-ass name...need to get this thing more views.

IkedaHakubi

Thank you Mr. Smooth. I learned something from this. So even if someone doesn't get it now, they may get it the next, or the time after that. Never give up.

Carol Monger

Amazing! His wisdom and comical delivery kept causing explosions of "Ah-ha!" and "Wow!" moments for me. Thank you, Jay!

Samsarah Morgan

9y↑14

Since the discussion remains so necessary - let's keep it going! Thank you!

crimeny

11y↑1

This is literally the best response to this sort of blithering nonsense I have ever seen. I am going to save this and quote you forever.

Peter Boyd

Love this: "we need to move away from the tonsils model to the dental hygiene model of discussing race"

Genevieve

6y↑5

wow, blew me away by the depth and the simplicity of the explanation at the same time.

afropana

12y↑16

"The belief you must be perfect in order to be good is an obstacle to being the best you be." wow

Jess Gee

10y↑3

Has taught me so much, and with humour and compassion! BEST. MAN. ONLINE.

Fisy

4y↑1

Jess Gee I am officially referring you to Tyler Fortnite ninja blevins, he is a strong competitor for that title

Sarah Ramirez

I absolutely love this video. Thank you.

transformersloverjon

9y↑10

Oh my god! I watched one of this guy's videos on the "n-word double standard" a million years ago! He did SUCH a great job at expressing this thought that made so much sense. I still reference ignorant people to that video when they bring up the so-called double standard.

BelieveSkateCo

9y↑2

@transformersloverjon awesome video thanks for posting this.

transformersloverjon

9y↑1

@Salocin097 Yeah, it's pretty obscure. A miraculous coincidence that I found it, actually. Here it is: https://vimeo.com/43636793

Salocin097

Send me that video? I'm curious. I'm on his channel but not seeing it.

Alexis Castaneda

8y↑5

"The race constructs that we live in in America were shaped specifically by desire to avoid making sense. They were shaped for centuries by a need to rationalize and justify indefensible acts. So when we grapple with race issues we’re grappling with something that was designed for centuries to make us circumvent our best instincts. "

The same can be said about Speciesism. As with racism, which is discrimination based on race, speciesism is discrimination based on species; both are biological forms of discrimination.

The SPECIES constructs that we live in in THE WORLD were shaped specifically by desire to avoid making sense. They were shaped for centuries by a need to rationalize and justify indefensible acts. So when we grapple with ANIMAL issues we’re grappling with something that was designed for centuries to make us circumvent our best instincts.

The species constructs are our cultures, traditions, and religions. They have been shaped for centuries by a need to rationalize and justify indefensible acts such as slaughtering animals for fur or a double bacon cheeseburger. Our cultural, traditional, religious, and overall societal rationalizations and justifications make us circumvent our best instincts. Children do not have a natural instinct to eat animals, they are taught to eat animals, which animals, and when.

srednivashtar

12y

This young man is brilliant. He should be the King of these Disunited Mistakes.

Bruce Thron-Weber

8y↑6

What are a few of the most relevant resources for doing the dental hygiene work on racism that we need to do? In other words, what exercises can we do daily that will help us clean up our act?

bessie smith

12y↑2

Well said!

veganElaine

12y↑1

This concept - that binaries can be more destructive than useful - is a fantastic concept that's true for so many -isms. Thanks :)

gsmack1906

12y↑1

jay smooth is the man. very intelligent

slouch

12y↑1

i always love listening to jay

leftcoastpunk

12y↑1

Well said.

Michael Lefkowitz

12y

Certainly great points... but it would be nice to have a lot more examples, both in terms of stories about specific times you realized you accidentally said or did something racist and came to terms with it, or examples of ways to tell other people they might have done so without putting them on the defensive. I think you've highlighted an important problem we need to solve, but not really given specifics as to how to solve it, besides "be more humble."

Mike Labun

9y↑6

Thanks Jay, for nailing it. Do you run workshops?

homg85

6y↑1

I want to meet this guy. He seems just so cool!

Dania

5y↑1

This is amazing!

CzarJuliusIII

9y↑37

Please, Jay Smooth for president. I won't have it any other way.

Julia McKay

So amazed how much his voice SOUNDS like Obama! I heard him without seeing him at first and thought he was Obama... ;-)

afrohealer

8y↑1

+GadSammit yes .. but ets be carefull about that which we want to integrate into. E.g if you have a sick system, you dont want to integrate into a sick system.
I am more inclined t a re-imagining of our positions in this planet that is centered around our interdependence and not around the nations sates ..
I think you will appreciate this essay https://andrea366.wordpress.com/2013/08/14/the-problem-with-privilege-by-andrea-smith/

GadSammit

8y↑1

+afrohealer WE are the establishment, and if we decide to work our asses off for something, we can accomplish it much more easily than we think.

afrohealer

8y↑2

+GadSammit Jay is to real to be president .. the establishment wont allow a brother that down to get there.

GadSammit

I'll start the fundraising!

That's My Cut!

12y↑2

5:37-5:52 brilliant and that also needs to be shouted to holier than thou folk as well.,

Hantelbank

12y↑2

Being "good" is unreachable. You only can be better than you were yesterday.

Archetype

12y↑2

Comedians have been these "dentists" for centuries. MLK tore down the legal wall, but comedians like Richard Pryor have done most of the leg work.

Paulo Andre Azevedo Quirino

10y↑1

Awesome talk

Onaj Ritchie

11y↑2

This cat offers up some brilliant commentary...so glad he opened up the format...

Fisy

Onaj Ritchie where was the cat

UZIMA Dance Fitness

10y↑6

What an incredibly intelligent man. He has a gift! I gave such a huge crush on Jay!

SpiderPrawn

12y↑1

I wish I could upvote some of his individual sentences.

jackedup2077

12y↑1

@thejuggler42 I think what he is saying is way beyond race and we can find it in our daily lives. Think about a time when you or someone you know said something and someone took offense to it. How did you or that person respond? Was it defensive or was there a pause to actually understand how what you said caused hurt. People are so quick to dismiss or marginalize other people's feelings to maintain their own righteousness. It's silly. Because none of us is righteous We're growing every day

Salocin097

9y↑8

This philsophy needs to be applied to so many things. Things are not black and white. and 50 shades of grey is going hurt my analogy :'(

There's a lot more than 50 shades, there aren't any lines whatsoever, its a spectrum.

gregman4

12y↑1

I Love you Jay Smooth!

Warrior Waitress

9y↑4

Oh my, look at the sexy-as-hell brain on this man! Love it! I place Mr. Jay Smooth right up there with other modern brilliant thinkers/philosophers on the topic of race in America such as James Baldwin, Tim Wise, Nina Turner and Ta-Nehisi Coates.

ilinaeternity

12y↑1

WE LOVE YOU JAY

onlyallegra

12y↑1

What a Godsend!

blackcrss

11y

Thank you, I had given up hope. I thought all youtube had was horrible racists and bigots, and then I saw your comment thumbed up over a hundred times

riahmatic

12y↑1

@jimmytrouser Watch the video again; it wasn't about strategies for talking about race or even "a person should not take offence to another person stating they are racist". He says not to take offense when someone suggests something you DID was racist, because that itself is not an implication that you are a racist. He was specifically targeting the false dichotomy between either being a racist or a non-racist.

BenkaiDebussy

12y↑1

@thejuggler42 Well, the solution really is to be self-introspective and not assume that your beliefs are flawless. If someone calls you racist, sexist, or anything else along those lines, one should at least find out why they might have said that, rather than being knee-jerk defensive. It's not really the same as being humble. Being willing to evaluate your own beliefs in the face of criticism isn't the same thing (not being too proud about winning an award, while good, isn't related to this).

alirally

12y↑1

wonderful talk and god damn you are a good speaker

Roofus Dandelion

12y↑1

your words are music to my brain <3

Heather Perry

12y↑1

Right, we sometimes don't see, how we truly are.

APRIL MARTIN CHARTRAND, M.S.

12y

Thanks for the discussion about race as a social construct that makes no sense. I just did some research for one of my sociology classes and was introduced to Dr. Spensor Wells, Geneticists Dr. Wells researched our blood ancestry and informs us that we are 99.9% the same DNA (All humans). Humans are not inter-species, an old argument that the old anthropologists wanted us to believe.

Jon Bowman

exactly. even though it's a biological fact, there are still some who argue that race is not a social construct. It's almost as funny as flat earthers and global warming deniers.

riahmatic

12y↑1

@jimmytrouser Watch his youtube channel where he goes more into those types of situations. This was a higher level discussion. The focus was deliberate.

StellarBody

12y

No worries. It's interesting how these things differ from country to country - I'd argue that in some ways Africans brought to the English colonies suffered more than those in the Spanish and Portuguese colonies if only because slavery lasted much longer there - so people in the U.S. tend to be more sensitive (and with good reason). Hey, this is exactly the kind of conversation Jay was talking about ;)

babyblueLEGEND

8y↑10

Prejudice and racism are not the same thing. It would have been useful for the speaker had defined terms at the beginning.

Anthony Fox

5y↑2

@Crispy Indeed. In short, racism = prejudice + power

Crispy

Isn't it more like racism is a form of prejudice? You base your notion of a person on superficial things (consciously or unconsciously), which is prejudiced. When it comes to racism these things tend to be skin color, language or other attributes that do not necessarily tell you anything about personality. While racism might be built into a society, it's still based on prejudice which has led to bigotry, and then systematic bigotry, which is often defined as racism. Right?

Dr. Doom

8y↑3

Thank you! I was thinking the same thing. I have a prejudice against the Packers, hot weather, Yugo cars (if they still exist). If a cop has a prejudice against me, I can end up dead. This video is too glib for me.

BenkaiDebussy

12y↑1

@jesuinthesky88 It's because, in their mind, "racist" requires someone to literally hate all black people (or whatever the race is). They believe that they're not racist because there are some black people they like. They also believe that society isn't unfair towards black people due to the fact that some are wealthy (though not understanding logic is the source of many other conservative beliefs as well). This is why it's virtually impossible to change minds on this issue.

Don L

12y

I just want to understand the dichotomy of being 'black' vs. 'being biracial'. I notice jay says he's a black man of mixed ancestry. Note, I recognize that there seems to be no overarching rule as to what people describe themselves as. I always thought identifying yourself as 'black' meant two black parents, and being 'mixed' was a term for biracialness.

StellarBody

12y↑8

"Mulatto" is actually a term many mixed-race people find offensive (like me.) If you want to talk about his gentics please refer to him as "mixed-race." Thanks.

Carl Monfiston

J Smooth = The GOAT

Michael Pilnick

12y

@donluchitti I think the key is in the context. strangers in a social setting who lead with "what are you?" aren't anthropologists tracing gene codings for outward race expression. They want to know how to treat him, so he says "how about you treat me as the most dangerous thing you can think of, and we see how you do."

stillphil

12y↑1

7:48 tonsils paradigm ! brilliant 8:00 Crash ? LOL not to pick a favorite part, cause there are many. Thanks Jay Smooth .

bridey.m

12y↑3

@twinqletwinqle Bingo. And at times, calling someone racist is considered more egregious than the fact of that person's racism. They act like you said something nasty about their mother when you point out that they are behaving in a racist fashion.

ipsoveritas

12y↑2

beautiful.

Don L

12y

@FrelanceEQ @FrelanceEQ interesting, but I still feel like my question wasn't answered or really addressed. I've been doing some investigating about the concept of 'blackness' and from what I've gathered the reason why people mixed with any African ancestry refer to themselves as Black is precisely because society, namely 20th and 19th century racist society labeled them that way. Staring me right in the face the answer was, I'm just feeling left out of this inclusive term.

maryandchild

11y↑3

he actually gets to identify based on his experience and background, so he is a light skinned black man. note that i said 'based on his experience and background' and not some disingenuous bullshit, so don't respond saying you identify as a purple elephant or something.

rightonrightoff

12y↑1

Jay, you need your own TV show so you can reach the masses a la Jon Stewart.

Tyler .DeepakChopraFan

10y

why can I like this but not dislike it??

Brittney Kroiss

9y↑3

does a transcription of this exist?

allisonsdf

12y↑5

I had my prejudice removed... I watched that movie Crash. lol

dewfish

12y↑1

awesome.

jesuinthesky88

12y↑2

@twinqletwinqle That's why you have racist right-wingers spout off embarrassingly racist things, but become genuinely offended when you call them that dreaded R-word. We've made enough progress to make people ashamed of the "racist" label, but not enough progress to make them actually ashamed for their racist beliefs.

LIFENATION

7y↑1

The constructs were shaped by false science and dehumanizing. It was deliberate and purposeful.

J. Scanlon

12y↑3

fuck, you are awesome Jay Smooth. is there a facebook page by any chance I'm already following him on twitter

Kimlay Lav

Who can help me explain about tonsils paradigm and dental hygiene paradigm in this TEDx Talk ?

MsCutekitteh

12y↑1

Jay Smooth is so... smoothe.

LadyMercutia

12y↑3

Why is everyone so hung up about what Jay is? Because it's very simple, people: He's a Capricorn. Now shut up and watch the damn video.

North Trenton New Jersey

12y↑2

Jay Smooth STRIKES AGAIN!!

Echo Echo

Oh boy, a hygiene argument. That can't be loaded with accusations in any way...

beezwings

4y↑6

Side note: did anybody else find the way he talks, with his pauses and emphasis on certain words, reminds you of Obama?

Comms Company

Same. I though the same

anthony babiasz

I thought the same thing about the way he pronounces his words

k4th4rt1cSTATE

12y

I second that.

Michael Dube

12y

@toke14 Yes he is!!!!

maryandchild

11y↑1

"your uneducated".. hilarious

Fisy

maryandchild ironic that you’d use the wrong you’re

Tyler Munger

11y↑1

^^^^^ Best argument on Youtube.

shipmaker14

11y

@BloodandthunderVII two well deserved top comments:)

nativesun

12y

This man is SO fucking brilliant I don't have the proper words to describe how fucking brilliant this man is.

BenkaiDebussy

12y

@BenkaiDebussy "self-introspective" isn't really a word, is it? I think I should have just said "introspective" instead.

Crystal Coache

12y

@Leeroy69Jenkums Mostly in application now vs. in law. Although some drug laws are extremely classist and thereby, indirectly racist. Affirmative action is not an example of institutional racism.

Samuel Andrews

8y↑2

Good speech.

One mistake though. The concept of race in America wasn't "designed" over centuries. In early America, you had humans who had had very little common ancestry in the last 40,000 years interacting with each other. Because they had been separated genetically for so long, they looked noticeable differnt. As a result, people created the concept of race. However, it's important to note, the concept isn't a human invention, it's a genetic reality. Race concepts, are just human words describing that reality.

Cade Holbrook

@Lea Stotland Ok Einstein explain the Minnesota Trans-racial Adoption Study

Lea Stotland

Race is not a genetic reality. The degree of genetic difference between one racial grouping and another is now known to be less even than between individuals of the same race. But it remains a social reality.

Samuel Andrews

+iRockYouRock67 I agree. Race/genetic difference is real but we don't have to make it matter as much as we Americans do. At least I think that's what I think you're saying.

Fer Fercita

8y↑1

There is a certain truth in saying that it's human nature to assign understandable explanations that makes sense to us, to explain things that happen in nature. And that also goes along in humans finding aversion to things that do not make sense to them, or they do not find familiar to them.

The colours of one's skin though, was never an issue UNTIL people tried to find a reason to justify these indefensible acts.

Skin colour is JUST THAT. Historians have proven once, twice, thrice that relations between people, that burned bridges between people, could never be explained by an subconscious, proto-racist conception. Never. It was never a big enough player for you to write this lol