On another continent, some 9000 miles from the United States, is a corner of the earth where there is no Internet, no electricity, no telephone. From wherever you stand, you see red dirt and sky, well-adapted wildlife, rock piles next to dirt roads that seem to go on and on forever. Desolate but not empty, the Australian outback offers people the chance to revel in the open space and solitary oneness this striking terrain provides. Had you traveled that same path years ago, you may have passed Jennifer Knapp along the way, a Grammy nominated, Dove Award winning artist, who was happy to let go of all the success she had to live a very different kind of life traveling to the most remote corners of Australia, looking to reclaim a part of herself she felt she lost in all the excitement of her accomplishments.
And then one day she decided to come back.
Before you start with any Eddie and the Cruisers comparisons, please note that Jennifer didn’t fake her own demise. She just decided to take a break, though at the time, she wasn’t sure she’d ever return. Considering Jennifer has over sold over 1 million records, spent years successfully playing to sold out audiences and had a considerable fan base, the choice wasn’t an easy one but definitely necessary. “I didn’t play, I didn’t write, my guitars collected dust for 5 years. I completely had to divorce myself from the whole thing because I never really took ownership of what music meant for me as an individual. I needed to figure that out, so I really left the music business with the idea that I may not ever do it again.”
At first, Jennifer set out to go to all the cities she had toured in, but never had a chance to visit. Growing up in a tiny town in Kansas, the trips across the US and Europe were exciting. This led to a jaunt to Australia, where she decided to stay. Walking away from her career wasn’t easy, as Jennifer was riding high on the wave of success. Having cultivated an audience within the Christian music spectrum, Jennifer’s first 3 albums were all critical and commercial successes. She won her first Dove Award in 1999 for Best New Artist, scored 2 Grammy nods and another Dove nomination in 2003. She opened for Jars of Clay, spent some time on the Lilith tour and continued to grow her audience, who clamored for more of her folk-rock message of spirituality and love. People magazine touted Jennifer as an “uncommonly literate songwriter,” but just as she was at the top of her game she…let go.
After seven years spent traveling, mastering the Playstation and spending time working at an antique store (and actually loving that she dreaded going to work in the morning like a “normal” person), Jennifer began to re-visit what made her happiest. “I had to go through a mourning process of walking away and convincing myself that it didn’t matter if I played music anymore. But it was hard, and the whole time I was gone, it was like I had a shadow following me. I began to return to it in my own private time, getting out my guitar, starting to play and falling in love with music again without any expectations. I just wanted to play because it meant something to me.”
Struggling with being a normal person with an abnormal occupation, Jennifer finally made peace with what she did best. “I was really enjoying the music I was playing at home. Half the record was written in Australia and as I played it, friends were responding to it. It fanned the flame. There are sad parts of working in the industry that made me feel disconnected, but I realized I was just afraid and was hiding. It seemed a shame that I could share my songs with people and I wasn’t doing it. I hadn’t worked in 7 years and there were fans on the Internet holding vigils for me to play again. It took me a long time to understand that connection and now it’s a passion of mine. In a true sense it’s a gift – you give it because you don’t want it back, and you want it to bless the person receiving it. What an amazing opportunity for me to have.”
Returning to Nashville, Jennifer holed up in the studio to begin recording the aptly named Letting Go, her fourth studio album. With Producer Paul Moak, best known as his work as a studio musician for artists such as Mat Kearney, Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith, at the helm, Jennifer had no intention of resting on past laurels. With Paul, they put together a whole new band of hungry young musicians and got to work. With the exception of longtime bass player Tony Lucido, the guys in the studio were musicians Jennifer had never even met before, who brought an energy she was craving. “All risk and high reward” is how she explains her new band with which she had an instant camaraderie.
While Jennifer made her initial mark in the Christian market, her time away made her realize that while she would never turn her back on that belief, she didn’t want to exclude any one else, either. As with past releases, she had gotten used to the focus on her song writing, that it was viewed as somewhat unusual for the Christian music industry. However Jennifer was always celebrated for her honesty and human approach to the divine, and she looks at Letting Go as a continuation of pushing those limits. “It was a struggle, because I was used to writing lyrics one way. I had to break that yolk to write a record that was honest about how I feel about life. It is the voice of people that I am concerned in preserving here, our right to express our deepest souls without the fear of condemnation. It’s my hope that the music feels legitimate and meaningful for whoever hears it. I wanted this record to reflect that.”
The result is the astonishing straightforwardness of Letting Go, an album of stripped back folk and country tinged rock that is as intimate as it is expansive. The musical warmth of Letting Go spreads throughout the record. From the wry opening words (“careful what you say, careful who might hear…”) of “Dive In” to the lyrical play of “Want For Nothing” and the evocative rocker “Inside,” Letting Go observes the world around it with captivating perception.
To say that Jennifer Knapp has come full circle would be a fair assessment. Beside the record release, Knapp has been asked to play on the re-vamped Lilith Fair tour, the first one in 10 years. Since Jennifer played on the last one in ’99, being asked to play the re-launch is very special, a reminder of why Jennifer came back to her musical roots. “There is a strong sense of community that has been in the back of my mind throughout this whole process. I want my core audience to find something familiar, but refreshed, on Letting Go. At the same time, I am so happy to throw off any cloak that has been put upon me that would make any music lover hesitate to listen to my music. I am so excited to bring all different types of people to my party. I’ve written this for them.”
Sometimes, you have to let go of everything to be able to come back.
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Biography taken from: http://www.jenniferknapp.com/about
http://www.jenniferknapp.com
Inside
Jennifer Knapp Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Before they hear the whole story
Even if they do, well I know they won't care to
Caulk it up to one mistake
Or God forbid they give me grace
Well, who in the hell do they think they are
Oh, I'm the one who keeps it on the inside
Locked away from judgments wrong
So they'll leave me alone
Leave me alone
Each and every revolution starts
With at least with one illusion
You and I can be the same of one small mind
Do this and don't do that
Which you think you can't take back
Well, who in the hell do you think you are
Oh, I'm the one who keeps it on the inside
Locked away from judgments wrong
Oh, I'm the one who keeps it on the inside
So they'll leave me alone
Leave me alone
I know they'll bury me,
I know they'll bury me,
I know they'll bury me
Alive
Even though I've got conviction
Even though I've got pride
I know they'll bury me, they'll bury my alive
Oh, I'm the one who keeps it on the inside
Locked away from judgments wrong
Oh, I'm the one who keeps it on the inside
So they'll leave me alone
Leave me alone
Yeah, I'm the one who keeps it on the inside
Locked away from judgments wrong
Oh, I'm the one who keeps it on the inside
So they'll leave me alone
Leave me alone
The song "Inside" by Jennifer Knapp is one that talks about how difficult it is to share one's true self with others. The song begins with the line "I know they'll bury me before they hear the whole story," which suggests that the singer feels misunderstood and judged by others. She goes on to say that even if people do hear her whole story, they won't care to understand it. The singer is resigned to the fact that people will judge her based on one mistake or misstep, and that they won't extend her grace. She questions the arrogance of those who judge her, asking "who in the hell do they think they are?"
The chorus of the song emphasizes the singer's desire to keep her true self hidden, "locked away from judgments wrong," so that others will "leave her alone." She feels that she can't be her true self in the presence of people who will judge and misunderstand her. The second verse of the song discusses the pressure that people face to conform, with lyrics like "do this and don't do that." The singer acknowledges that this pressure can make people feel like they can't take back their actions, leading to more judgment and misunderstanding.
Overall, "Inside" is a powerful song about the struggle of feeling misunderstood and judged by others, and the pressure to keep one's true self hidden. It represents the pain of feeling like one can't live authentically without being judged, and the conflict between the desire for acceptance and the need for self-expression.
Line by Line Meaning
I know they'll bury me
I fear that people will judge and ostracize me before I have the chance to tell my story
Before they hear the whole story
Before people understand the full context of my situation
Even if they do, well I know they won't care to
Even if people hear my story, they will likely dismiss it or not empathize with me
Caulk it up to one mistake
People will use one mistake I made to define me and disregard any good qualities I possess
Or God forbid they give me grace
People are not likely to show me mercy or forgiveness
Well, who in the hell do they think they are
Who are these people to judge me without understanding my story?
Oh, I'm the one who keeps it on the inside
I keep my feelings and experiences hidden to protect myself from judgment and rejection
Locked away from judgments wrong
I keep my feelings and experiences protected from unfair and harsh judgment
So they'll leave me alone
I hide my true self so that others will not bother me or cause me harm
Each and every revolution starts
Every major change begins with an idea or belief
With at least with one illusion
These ideas or beliefs initially may seem unrealistic or impossible
You and I can be the same of one small mind
We can all be narrow-minded and judgmental at times
Do this and don't do that
Society has expectations and rules that must be followed or faced consequences
Which you think you can't take back
Actions and mistakes cannot be undone, even with regret or remorse
I know they'll bury me alive
I feel like I will be suffocated by others' judgment and lack of understanding
Even though I've got conviction
Despite my strong beliefs and principles
Even though I've got pride
Despite my sense of self-worth and dignity
Yeah, I'm the one who keeps it on the inside
I am the only one who knows the full extent of my experiences and feelings
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Capitol CMG Publishing, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Cloud9, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Savan Kotecha, Andreas Carlsson, Pelle Nylen
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind