Kathy lives in San Leandro, CA in a commune and is the mother of Michael (1970-1982), Melanie (1972) and twins Nicolas and Cassandra (1985). Her primary life partner Dean Dierschow (familiar as her most devoted roadie) lives there with her in a wonderful ongoing courtship. She was very involved in the antiwar movement in the sixties and sang in Kansas City for the first Moratorium. She has appeared as filk GOH at almost every filk convention and many regular SF conventions as well.
Pegasus Awards
* 1989 - Best Filk Song - Arafel's Song (Tree of Swords & Jewels) (With Mercedes Lackey)
* 1989 - Best Writer/Composer
* 1991 - Best Love Song - Velveteen
* 1993 - Best Writer/Composer
* 1994 - Best Filk Song - Drink Up the River
* 1996 - Best Filk Song - When Giants Walked
* 2004 - Best Writer/Composer
Albums
* Songbird - Off Centaur (cassette OCP-??) 1982
* On a Bright Wind - Off Centaur (cassette OCP-??) 1984
* Bamboo Wind - Off Centaur (cassette OCP-54) 1985
* Plus Ca Change - Thor Records (cassette FK1003) 1988
* Plus C'est La Mme Chose - Thor Records (cassette FK1006) 1990
* Made By Magic - with Zander Nyrond, Dandelion Digital CD DD-005CD, 1994
* My Favorite Sings - Prometheus Music CD, 1999
* Plus Ca Change / Plus C'est La Mme Chose - DragonsGate Music CD 2000
Grendel
Kathy Mar Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Melody © 1988 Leslie Fish
Reference: 'Beowulf'
Dumb as dirt and twice as mean, such a son makes Mother crazy
Foul as sewers I have seen, ugly, loutish, large and lazy
That's the child I've had to raise, what's a mom to do?
Drag him in an ocean cave and stay to watch him, too
Chorus: Son of mine you've been a disappointment since your birth
Now I've had to bury you in this cold Northern earth
I know you would be sorry if you weren't so very dead
But you never listened to a word I said
Everybody has to rest, even I got sleepy
Sonny left our little nest on errands cruel and creepy
Came back with a haunch of man gnawed down to the bone
Left each night from that day on as I slept like a stone
Chorus
Vikings gathered in their hall, heroes all in war delighting
When my Grendel came to call, he was met with mighty fighting
One among them took his arm, ripped it off for good
Chased him to our ocean home and killed him where he stood
Instrumental
When I found my wine was spiked, it was far too late to aid him
Though there wasn't much I liked I was often glad I made him
So I must avenge him now, what's a mom to do?
If he was yours anyhow, I'll bet that you would too
Chorus
The song Grendel by Kathy Mar tells the story of a mother's perspective on her son who is a monster. She describes him as dumb, mean, and foul. She is disappointed with his behavior and regrets raising him. She even goes so far as to contemplate drowning him in an ocean cave. The chorus reflects her disappointment and her mourning his death. Despite her grievances, she still feels maternal love towards him and vows to avenge his death.
The song is a reference to the epic poem Beowulf and takes the perspective of the monster's mother. It explores the idea of nature vs. nurture and how a mother's love can be tested, even when her son is a monster. The lyrics also touch on the theme of revenge and how it is a natural response when a loved one is wronged.
Line by Line Meaning
Dumb as dirt and twice as mean, such a son makes Mother crazy
My son, Grendel, is unintelligent and cruel, making me feel helpless and frustrated as his mother.
Foul as sewers I have seen, ugly, loutish, large and lazy
Grendel is repulsive and lazy, with an unpleasant and brutish character.
That's the child I've had to raise, what's a mom to do?
As a mother, I am left to deal with Grendel's terrible character and I feel unsure and stuck on how to improve him.
Drag him in an ocean cave and stay to watch him, too
I take my son, Grendel, to a faraway ocean cave and watch over him to prevent him from causing any more harm.
Son of mine you've been a disappointment since your birth
Now I've had to bury you in this cold Northern earth
I know you would be sorry if you weren't so very dead
But you never listened to a word I said
Despite my efforts as a mother, Grendel continues to harm others and I am left with no choice but to bury him and acknowledge his failure as a son due to his unwillingness to listen to me or change.
Everybody has to rest, even I got sleepy
Sonny left our little nest on errands cruel and creepy
Came back with a haunch of man gnawed down to the bone
Left each night from that day on as I slept like a stone
Grendel leaves our home to commit violent acts in the night, causing me to be fearful and restless, and he returns with human body parts that he has devoured.
Vikings gathered in their hall, heroes all in war delighting
When my Grendel came to call, he was met with mighty fighting
One among them took his arm, ripped it off for good
Chased him to our ocean home and killed him where he stood
Grendel attacks a group of proud Viking warriors who retaliate and maim him by ripping off his arm. They then find Grendel's lair and kill him.
When I found my wine was spiked, it was far too late to aid him
Though there wasn't much I liked I was often glad I made him
So I must avenge him now, what's a mom to do?
If he was yours anyhow, I'll bet that you would too
I realize too late that my wine was drugged by those who wished to kill Grendel. Despite my mixed feelings about my son, I feel the need to avenge his death and take appropriate measures as a mother. I believe that any parent in a similar situation would do the same.
Contributed by Josiah F. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@TerryB01
I like this song. She not afraid to point out her son's faults, but admits that she still loves him. Despite being truly evil, she still cares for her son. She's a REAL mother, go figure.
@TerryB01
@Leslie Fish Glad to get a reply even so many years alter lol
@OmegaShadeslayer
@Leslie Fish Is this the real Leslie Fish? If so, holy moly! I'm a huge fan!
@Churnok
This is one of many unusual songs that I grew up with. Thrilled to find it on Youtube and hope to find many others.
@ezrastardust3124
This warms my heart and breaks it at the same time
@GnarledStaff
I would love to see this at the end of a movie... too bad they don’t make good movies anymore
@torias23
My Freshman English teacher played this for us after we read the poem.
@rocketjumper1380
The poem? there's a poem following this song?
@jonassmith1407
Rocket Jumper, the epic of Beowulf.
@Svensk7119
@@rocketjumper1380No. This song is based off of a poem. Not just any poem, but the epic poem Beowulf, which is the oldest poem in the English language.
It is so old, it is in another language, but it is still English. It is in Old English. Not Shakespeare, which is still modern English, and not Chaucer, which is Middle English. Old English looks like this:
Hwæt! Wé Gar-Dena in geardagum,
Þeod cyninga þrym gefrunon, hu þe æþlingas ellen fremedon!
That is the first stanza, and that is (Old) English.