Even If It Kills
Motion City Soundtrack Lyrics

I've got a lotta things to do tonight
I have a long list of tasks for the night.

I'm so sick of making lists
Making endless lists is becoming frustrating for me.

Of things I'll never finish
I am starting to realize that there are things that might not be finished.

I've lived here for the last 12 years
I have been residing at the same place for 12 years now.

Since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes
I have stored away all my belongings since 1995, in boxes.

But if I had a little more time to kill
If only I had some time, I'd address all the small issues.

I'd settle every little stupid thing
I would fix every trivial matter.

Yeah you'd think that I would
It seems like a reasonable suggestion.

But I'm too tired to go to sleep tonight
I am exhausted but unable to sleep.

And I'm too weak to follow dreams tonight
I lack the strength to pursue my dreams tonight.

For the first time in a long time I can say
It's probably been a while since I last felt this way.

That I want to try to get better and
I am willing to put in effort to improve my situation.

Overcome each moment
I want to face each challenge bravely.

In my own way
I plan to deal with things according to my personal preferences.

I wonder if I'll ever lose my mind
I often doubt myself and question my mental stability.

I tried hard for awhile
I put in much effort before.

But then I kinda gave up
Eventually, I lost enthusiasm and stopped trying as hard.

Winter is a killer when the sun goes down
The winter days are harsh when the sun sets, and night falls.

"I'm really not as stubborn as I seem,"
I might appear obstinate, but it's not entirely true.

Said the knuckle to the concrete
I hit something and hurt myself, so that's what I muttered.

I'm not saying that I'm giving up
I have no intention of quitting altogether.

I'm just trying not to think as much as I used to
I am attempting to reduce my overthinking tendencies.

Cause "never" is a lonely little messed up word
"Never" is an isolated word that can hurt as it implies permanent deprivation.

Maybe I'll get it right some day
In the future, I might figure things out.

I feel helpless for the most part
In most cases, I perceive myself to be powerless.

But I'm learning to open my eyes
I am trying to perceive things more positively and with hope.

And the sad truth of the matter is
The harsh fact is that it is sad.

I'll never get over it
It is certain that I'll never fully recover from whatever it is.

But I'm gonna try
But that doesn't mean I won't make an effort.

To get better and overcome each moment
I want to improve myself and conquer each obstacle as it comes.

In my own way
I want to tackle things according to what works best for me.

I so want to get back on track
I am motivated to get back on course.

And I'll do whatever it takes
I'm not afraid of making an effort to overcome barriers.

Even if it kills me
I am willing to give everything I have, even if it means the worst possible outcome.