Deathbed
Relient K Lyrics

I can smell the death on the sheets
I am aware of the imminent end and decay that surrounds me

Covering me
Enveloping and suffocating me

I can't believe this is the end
I struggle to accept that this is the final chapter

But this is my deathbed
This is the place where I will take my last breath

I lie here alone
I am left in solitude as I face my demise

If I close my eyes tonight
In the moment of sleep, I anticipate finding solace

I know I'll be home
I believe I will find a sense of belonging and peace

The year was nineteen forty-one
In the past, during the year 1941

I was eight years old and
At that time, I was a young child of eight

Far far too young
Significantly too young to comprehend certain truths

To know that the stories
Unaware that the tales I was told

Of battles and glory
About war and triumphant deeds

Was a tale a kind mother
Turned out to be fabricated by my compassionate mother

Made up for her son
Created in order to protect and shield her child from harsh realities

You see
Allow me to explain further

Dad was a traveling preacher
My father worked as an itinerant religious teacher

Teaching the words of the Teacher
Spreading the teachings of Jesus

But mother had sworn
However, my mother had promised

Went off to the war
She departed to join the war effort

And died there with honor
She ultimately lost her life in a noble manner

Somewhere on a beach there
In some unknown location, possibly on a beach

But he left once to never return
My father departed and never came back

Which taught me that I should unlearn
This experience taught me to abandon

Whatever I thought a father should be
The preconceived notions I had of a father figure

I abandoned that thought
I completely abandoned that belief

Like he abandoned me
Just as he had left me behind

By forty seven I was fourteen
When I reached the age of fourteen in the year 1947

I'd acquired a taste for liquor and nicotine
I had developed a liking for alcohol and cigarettes

I smoked until I threw up
I continued smoking until I vomited

Yet I still lit 'em up for thirty more years
Nevertheless, I continued smoking for thirty additional years

Like a machine
With mechanical repetition and consistency

So right there you have it
So, it becomes evident at this point

That one filthy habit
That particular disgusting habit

Is what got me where I am today
It is the reason for my current situation

I got married on my twenty first
When I turned twenty-one, I entered into marriage

Eight months before my wife would give birth
Just eight months prior to my wife giving birth

It's easier to be sure you love someone
It is simpler to feel confident about your love for someone

When her father inquires with the barrel of a gun
When her father questions you at gunpoint

The union was far from harmonious
The marriage was anything but peaceful and balanced

No two people could have been more alone than us
We were immensely isolated and detached from one another

The years would go by and she'd love someone else
As time passed, she developed affection for another person

And I realized I hadn't been loved yet myself
I came to the realization that I had never truly experienced love

From there it's your typical spiel
From that point forward, it follows a familiar pattern

Yeah if life was a highway
If we were to compare life to a road

I was drunk at the wheel
I was intoxicated and out of control

I was helping the loose ends
I was aiding in the unraveling of loose threads

All fall apart
As everything crumbled and disintegrated

Yeah I swear I was destined to fail
I firmly believe that my fate was to be unsuccessful

And fail from the start
I was destined to fail right from the beginning

I bowled about six times a week
I engaged in bowling approximately six times per week

The bottle of Beam kept the memories from me
The bottle of Jim Beam whiskey helped me forget the memories

Our marriage had taken a seven-ten split
Metaphorically, our marriage had encountered a difficult and complicated situation

Along with my pride the ex-wife took the kids
In addition to my self-respect, my ex-wife gained custody of the children

I was so scared of Jesus
I held a deep fear and apprehension towards Jesus

But He sought me out
However, He actively pursued and reached out to me

Like the cancer in my lungs
Similar to the cancer that plagues my lungs

That's killing me now
Which is currently causing my demise

And I've given up hope
I have lost all optimism

On the days I have left
Regarding the remaining time I have

But I cling to the hope
Yet, I desperately hold on to the expectation

Of my life in the next
For the existence that awaits me after death

Then Jesus showed up
Subsequently, Jesus appeared

Said 'Before we go'
Spoke, saying 'Before we depart'

"I thought that we might reminisce"
"I believed it would be meaningful to recall certain memories"

"See one night in your life"
"Let us revisit a particular night in your life"

"When you turned out the light"
"The moment when you switched off the light"

"You asked for and prayed for my forgiveness"
"You pleaded and prayed for my forgiveness"

You cried wolf
You falsely alarmed others

The tears they soaked your fur
Your tears saturated your fur

The blood dripped from your fangs
Blood trickled from your fangs

You said, 'What have I done?'
You expressed remorse, saying 'What have I caused?'

You loved that lamb
You displayed affection towards that innocent creature

With every sinful bone
Despite your corrupt nature and actions

And there you wept alone
In that moment, you shed tears of sorrow in solitude

Your heart was so contrite
Your heart was genuinely remorseful and repentant

You said, 'Jesus, please forgive me of my crimes
You humbly pleaded, 'Jesus, I beg for forgiveness for my transgressions

Sanctify this withered heart of mine
Cleanse and purify my weary and damaged heart

Stay with me until my life is through
Remain by my side until the end of my life

And on that day please take me home with you'
And when the day comes, please bring me to your heavenly abode'

You said, 'It's time to leave
You informed me, saying 'The moment has arrived for you to depart

You'll never be lonely again'
You assured me, stating 'You will never experience loneliness again'

But this was my deathbed
However, this particular place is where I met my demise

I died there alone
I passed away in solitude

When I closed my eyes tonight
At the moment of closing my eyes for the final time

You carried me home
You guided me to my true home

I am the Way
I am the path and means

Follow Me
Accept and follow my guidance

And take My hand
Reach out and hold onto my hand

And I am the Truth
I embody absolute truth

Embrace Me and you'll understand
Embrace my presence, and you will gain comprehension

And I am the Light
I represent enlightenment and illumination

And for Me you'll live again
And through me, you will experience life once more

For I am Love
Because I am the essence of pure love

I am Love
I am the embodiment of love itself