With the release of the seminal Telemetry of a Fallen Angel (existing in a few incarnations prior to Dancing Ferret Discs' version in 1997), The Crüxshadows enjoyed their first defining moment courtesy of the infinitely catchy dance floor anthem "Marilyn My Bitterness." With additional strong releases including The Mystery of the Whisper (1999), Until the Voices Fade (1999) and Paradox Addendum (2000) backed by lengthy tours, The Crüxshadows were able to build a legion of diversified fans consisting of everything from jarheads to gamers to anime & role playing enthusiasts.
While the lineup has indeed changed over the years, one constant has remained the same; Rogue, the vocalist, leader and mastermind of The Crüxshadows has directed his troupe towards an unconventional and lofty goal. "I want to change the world with music, I want people to find hope within themselves. I want them to know that anything is possible if you believe and follow through. I think that music has the power to inspire and move people to do amazing things" he muses. He is not alone in his belief. Their fans seem to believe it too. The bands motto "live love be believe" is everywhere, and many of their supporters will tell you that the lyrics have changed their lives in some way. This isn't exactly typical for a band most often identified as gothic or dark-wave. The Crüxshadows are not concerned. "Goth isn't about being a stereotype" the front-man complains, "its about being who you want to be... about not running from yourself or your emotions." The charismatic singer/songwriter/producer understands an audience and tends to deliver his dramatic croon right in their laps. Nothing they do is exactly new, but how they do it is completely unique. The lyrics are deep and meaningful, the stage show is dynamic and entertaining, and the music is hooky and inspired by pop. But pop it is not. It is a hybrid music that exists in a place just left of everyday, and just right of never-ever.
The band has maintained a surprising consistency despite the personnel turnovers that have plagued it in recent years. Jessica Lackey, a singer/dancer who married Rogue in 2007, and keyboardist Jen Jawidzik, who was once Rogue and Jessica's roommate, have stuck with it for the better part of the last decade. "When we have to find someone new, I feel like sometimes they don't understand all the hard work that was necessary for us to get to that point" Jessica states flatly, "It is not difficult to under-appreciate everything the band has accomplished, so people move on because they have not invested the same energy into the project." While the shows and the music continues to get better, that magically 'permanent' combination of personalities has continued to elude them. The band has had a difficult time keeping guitar players and dancers in particular, but has seen turnover in almost every position. These days Crüxshadows has Rogue backed by a mostly female band of new wave latex clad gypsies, and boasts an original mix of violins, dancers, guitars, and electronics. Tight and well-practiced, the seven performers interact on stage with clockwork like precision. The audience is captivated. Some of them scream. Some of them sing along. A few others stare at the stage dumbfounded.
Although The Crüxshadows maintain a strong fan base in their native United States, their most perceptible success seems to be focused in Europe. It is not uncommon for the band to share stages with the likes of Ladytron, Prodigy, The Cure, or even Bjork. The 2002 Tears EP topped the Deutsche Alternative Charts for months, a practice that has continued with all subsequent releases soaring to the DAC's Top 10. "I don't think we're actually more popular there (In Europe)" says Rogue, "It just seems like there is more access to our fans. What we do has more acceptance by the powers that be. In America it feels like all of our victories are covered up or are unacknowledged by the media." 2002 also saw the release of their fifth full-length album Wishfire; a fan favorite that featured the Euro hit "Tears" and a number of other dark dance mainstays. Similarly the follow-up album Ethernaut (released in 2003) brought the band what has become one of its most notable tracks, the European club anthem entitled "Winterborn (This Sacrifice)."
Remixes and special versions of songs have kept there fans satiated when no new traditional album lay on the horizon. In 2004 Fortress In Flames was released featuring a cover by the popular American artist Chad Michael Ward. There The Crüxshadows' material was remixed by peers like the Dutch legends Clan of Xymox and German industrial giants In Strict Confidence. Each year has seen some new disc from the band, and they come in a variety of formats. The year 2005 witnessed the release of their first DVD Shadowbox. The DVD is highlighted by a 2004 performance before a rabid crowd of 15,000 at the Wave-Gotik-Treffen in Leipzig Germany, where the ‘call and response' raw energy the band delves out is served right back by an adoring audience.
In 2006 the band would seem to breakaway from their underground moniker. The addictive single "Sophia" impressively debuted on the Billboard Hot Dance Singles Sales Charts in September at position #1, replacing Beyoncé in the top spot while landing #7 on the Hot 100 Singles Sales Chart. "We couldn't believe it, doors began to open. It was as if we couldn't be ignored anymore, after a decade and a half we seemed to be getting some respect. The local news in Florida even put us on the nightly news to get our take on the whole thing", the frontman recalls. The following year was pivotal for The Crüxshadows; in May the band successfully toured China performing at the Midi Open-Air Festival in Beijing, in the presence of many thousands of new fans. Later that year the band released the highly anticipated Dreamcypher album that contained yet another Billboard #1 Dance Single with the song "Birthday." This time the band climbed into the #2 spot on the Hot 100 Singles Sales Chart. With Dreamcypher, The Crüxshadows melded their fondness for 1980s Synth Pop/New Romantic sounds with modern Euro dance nuances into perfection. Dreamcypher joins the aforementioned shimmering "Sophia" and "Birthday" with the guitar fronted "Defender" and the majestic sounding "Eye of the Storm." The infectious disc would become The Crüxshadows' best selling album to date both in the United States and abroad.
The following year witnessed another single marching up the Billboard charts. "Immortal" continued the bands musical string of hits, despite the loss of violinist Rachel McDonnell. David Wood and JoHanna Moresco stepped in as an electric violining duo who not only safe-guarded the signature instrument of the band, but expanded it by way of rich layering and counterpoint melodies impossible in previous years. 2008 also saw the band's label Dancing Ferret Discs, withdraw from actively releasing new material. This left the band to deal with a large number of new and unforeseen issues, and delayed their plans to release a new full length album.
While The Crüxshadows spent most of 2009 touring in Europe, the band still managed to release yet another successful Billboard charting single in America. "Quicksilver" debuted just in time for their annual appearance at Atlanta's famed Dragon*Con Convention before an impressive capacity crowd of several thousand of their most loyal fans. "I think the new single, and really the most recent releases in general, are our most polished and well written work" says Rogue, "but there are still those in the scene, and in the business in general, that just think the whole thing is just dumb luck." The single was the first release from Wishfire Records, a new label founded by the band, and eventually reached #1 on The Billboard Hot Dance Singles Sales Charts and #2 on The Billboard Hot 100 Singles Sales Charts. Seemingly too pop for many critics and too underground for the industry, the band has apparently found the perfect balance for the people who matter the most to them; their fans.
The Crüxshadows have played by their own rules, and who is to say in a world of declining sales and illegal internet downloads that they haven't gotten the balance right. Time will tell. For now, The Crüxshadows continue to defy as well as define the odds, and their dark yet positive machine continues to roll.
Exile
The Crüxshadows Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Are slipping through time
In washed out memories
I just can't seem to find
It seems I break
All my fragile dreams
When I call
So what have I done?
What have I done?
Have I made you proud
Or have I driven you away?
Her eyes are complicated
Silently she slips away
And in her wake I find
A cascade of regret
All that I believe in
The anchors in my heart
Cannot be for nothing
But we still stand apart
In silence
It seems I break
All my fragile dreams
When I call
The angels back to me
So what have I done?
What have I done?
When time has claimed my fire
And left me in exile
Shadows cross in essence
That's part of what I am
When you try to see the angel
Standing like a man
Paper hearts and faded pictures
That we cherished all the while
And guard of distant forests
Raining tears placed in exile
What have I done?
Who have I become?
Though these words may come alive
Poets and prophets die.
God, are you sleeping?
God, are you dreaming?
Are you watching me tonight,
Finding tears to mark the time?
God, are you sleeping?
God, are you dreaming?
Are you crying for my life?
Falling angels in exile
(God, are you sleeping?)
Never give up.
(God, are you dreaming?)
Never give in.
There is fight within.
Do you hear me in the dark?
(God, are you sleeping?)
Never give up
(God, are you dreaming?)
Never give in
There is fight within
And I long to see your smile
What have I done?
Who have I become?
Though these words may come alive
Poets and prophets die...
The Crüxshadows's song Exile talks about someone who is struggling with the memories of their past and the choices they have made, which have led to their current state of isolation and disconnection from others. Their past seems to be slipping away from them, and they are left with regrets and a sense of loneliness. They question whether they have made the right choices and whether they have lived up to the expectations of either themselves or others. These questions are not necessarily answered, as they are left in a state of confusion and uncertainty.
The song also talks about the complexity of relationships, particularly the idea of someone slipping away without explanation, leaving a feeling of regret behind. Despite this, the singer still believes in the importance of holding on to what truly matters, even if it means standing apart. There is the idea that life can be like a dream, where we are not always sure if what we are experiencing is reality or illusion. Ultimately, the song captures the feeling of being lost and uncertain, without a clear sense of purpose or direction.
Line by Line Meaning
Fragments of my life
Different parts of my life
Are slipping through time
Are disappearing and vanishing as time passes by
In washed out memories
In memories that have faded or lost its vividness
I just can't seem to find
I cannot seem to remember or recall them
It seems I break
I feel like I ruin or damage
All my fragile dreams
All the delicate and vulnerable dreams that I have
When I call
Whenever I try to bring forth
The angel into me
The goodness and virtuousness within myself
So what have I done?
What actions have I taken?
Have I made you proud
Have I made you feel happy or satisfied with me?
Or have I driven you away?
Or have I pushed you away or caused you to leave?
Her eyes are complicated
Her eyes are difficult to understand or interpret
Silently she slips away
She leaves without a word or making any noise
And in her wake I find
And after she has left, I encounter
A cascade of regret
A rush of sorrow or remorse
All that I believe in
All the things that I have faith in
The anchors in my heart
The things that provide me with stability or support in my life
Cannot be for nothing
Cannot be meaningless or worthless
But we still stand apart
But we are still separated or distant from each other
In silence
Without speaking or communicating verbally
When the angels back to me
When I try to bring back the good within me
When time has claimed my fire
When time has taken away my passion or zeal
And left me in exile
And abandoned me in a state of loneliness or banishment
Shadows cross in essence
Darkness or obscurity pass through my very being
That's part of what I am
That is one of the things that defines me
When you try to see the angel
When you attempt to perceive the goodness in someone
Standing like a man
Existing or living like a human
Paper hearts and faded pictures
Fragile emotions and memories that are losing their distinctness or visibility
That we cherished all the while
That we loved and valued all throughout
And guard of distant forests
And keeping watch over distant or faraway forests
Raining tears placed in exile
Shedding tears while being left alone or banished
Who have I become?
What is the person that I have turned into?
Though these words may come alive
Even if these words come to life and become real
Poets and prophets die
Even the most skilled and insightful people ultimately perish
God, are you sleeping?
God, are you not paying attention?
God, are you dreaming?
God, are you not comprehending the reality of my situation?
Are you watching me tonight, Finding tears to mark the time?
Are you observing me tonight, but only seeing my tears and sorrow?
Are you crying for my life?
Are you grieving or mourning for my life?
Falling angels in exile
Angels that have lost their way or been abandoned in a state of loneliness
Never give up.
Do not surrender or lose hope
Never give in.
Do not yield or succumb
There is fight within.
There is a struggle or battle going on inside
Do you hear me in the dark?
Can you perceive me in the shadows?
And I long to see your smile
And I greatly desire to witness the happiness in your face
Contributed by Claire I. Suggest a correction in the comments below.