Candyland
Violent J Lyrics

The more candy
The greater the quantity of candy

The merrier
The happier

so fuck mom and dad
Disregard parental guidance

and now boys and girls
Addressing the intended audience

i hope you're ready
Prepare for an experience

for a wonderous adventure
For a fantastic journey

into a world full of lots and lots of candy
Into a world with plentiful sweets

throw your hands up
Put your hands up in the air

clap twice
Applaud twice

then stomp
Stamp your feet

it's me and grandma nut
The singer and the character Grandma Nut

in the Molasses swamp
In a swamp with molasses

i'm seeing waterfalls pouring up
Observing waterfalls going upwards

chocolate s'mores
A dessert made of chocolate and marshmallows

ill let that bitch floatin' and hit the peppermint forest
Leave behind the character Grandma Nut to go to the Peppermint Forest

lollipop trees all up in the gumdrop mountains
Trees with lollipops are present in the Gumdrops mountain range

there i saw jolly molly sittin' on her nut poppin'
Observed the character Jolly Molly doing something

she told me
Jolly Molly shared information

she was lookin' for the kool-aid man
Jolly Molly is searching for the Kool-Aid Man

cuz he stuck his tootsie roll in her filling hole and ran
Kool-Aid Man supposedly put a Tootsie Roll somewhere

i didn't give a damn
The artist doesn't care

i bit her head off vicious
The artist bit off Jolly Molly's head in a violent manner

the rich nouget cookie dough ho's delicious
Nougat and cookie dough are tasty

now the gingerbread people pick the popsicle poppers
Gingerbread figures collect popsicles

that sell sugarcane
Those popsicle poppers offer sugar cane

to donuts and lemonpops
Donuts and lemon pops enjoy the sugar cane

here it rains tic tacs
Tic Tac candy falls from the sky

and snows ice cream scoops
Ice cream portions fall like snow

and foos get shot up with peanuts
People get injected with peanuts

and fuckin' dumped in the goo
The people are dropped in something unpleasant

so bring your sweettooth, bitch
Bring your craving for sweet flavors

i'ma coat it in pain
The artist aims to cause pain

and all you sugar-free fakes ain't the same
Those cutting down on sugar aren't comparable

and it's soooo delicious
The artist considers the candy flavorful

bitch, this candyland, and it ain't nutritious
This is a Candyland, but not healthful

Well it's me and Mr. Mint on his spearmint boat
The artist and a character named Mr. Mint on a boat with spearmint flavor

with some caramel bunnies, and a rootbeer float
There are caramel bunnies and a soft drink with root beer flavor

and if you think i'm ever going back
The singer has no intention of returning

you must have an empty center
The listener must be lacking something

you meatloafs, do not enter
The listener shouldn't continue

blueberry jawbreaker
A candy with blueberry flavor that doesn't dissolve quickly

candyland law breaker
The singer is breaking the rules of Candyland

like taking candy from a baby
Taking candy is effortless here

i'm the candytaker
The artist is the one taking candy

marshmellow lemon drop
Candies with marshmallow and lemon flavors

jelly beans and a pair of salty nuts
Jelly beans with salty nuts

for all you sugar fiends
Those obsessed with sugar

bitch, this candyland, and it ain't nutritious
This is a Candyland, but not healthful

Candyland, candyland
Repeat of the title song

let's make a run for candyland
Let's go to Candyland

maybe we can hook up with the candyman
They could meet the Candyman character

mmm, tell mom and dad you want some candy
Encouragement to ask for candy from parents

a great way to rot your mouth out
Candy is a perfect utility to destroy teeth