Death Death
Voltaire Lyrics

My granny while on her deathbed,
As my grandmother lay dying,

She turned and said to me,
She turned towards me and spoke,

"Why must you view life so morbidly?
"Why do you have such a bleak view of life?

I tried to teach you right,
I tried to teach you to be good,

But somewhere I went wrong,
But somewhere along the way, I failed,

'Cause you sing those death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs."
Because you sing those songs that glorify death and the devil.

When six pallbearers put her down
When six people lowered her casket,

And laid her body in the ground,
And laid her to rest in the earth,

My eyes were wet, my face was very long.
I was crying and felt very sad.

The pastor said, "Son, here you are.
The minister said, "Here you are, my child.

Won't you please take this guitar?
Would you please take this guitar?

Sing dear departed Granny one last song."
Sing one last song for your late grandmother.

And I sang
And I started singing,

Well, I was shopping at Hot Topic
I was shopping at Hot Topic,

And I was walking out the door,
And I was leaving the store,

When two dumb jocks came up to me.
When two unintelligent athletes approached me,

They said, "Hey fag, it ain't Halloween!"
They said, "Hey homosexual, it isn't Halloween!"

And they kicked my lipstick to the floor.
And then they kicked my lipstick out of my hand.

Well, I went down to church on Sunday.
I went to church on Sunday morning.

I sat up front in a pew.
I sat at the front of the church.

The priest said, "Jesus and Mary, too!
The priest exclaimed, "Jesus and Mary!

Son, what the Devil's got into you?
What's gotten into you, my child?

Get up and sing a hymn or two!"
Get up and sing a few hymns!"

And I sang
And so I sang,

I was invited to the White House.
I was invited to the White House.

The president pulled me aside.
The president pulled me to the side.

He said, "Son, sing us a song of peace
He said, "My child, please sing us a song about peace.

For those evil-doers in the Middle East."
For the sinners in the Middle East."

I rolled my eyes and kicked this rhyme.
I expressed my annoyance and started to sing this song.

Well, then I died and went to Hell.
I then died and went to Hell.

I could tell right away by the awful smell
I immediately knew because of the horrible smell.

That this was clearly not the pearly gates.
It was clear to me that I wasn't at the pearly gates.

The Devil said, "Come here young man.
The Devil said, "Come here young man.

My wife and I are your biggest fans!"
My wife and I love your songs the most!"

Well, then he reached into an iron chest
Then he reached into a chest made of iron.

And he picked the tool that he felt was best.
He picked the tool he thought was the most effective.

And then he jabbed me in the schlong
And then he poked me in the penis,

With a pitchfork that had sharpened prongs.
With a fork whose prongs were pointed and sharp.

He turned to me and winked and sang this song.
He turned to me, and with a wink, he started singing this song.

Death, death, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs.
Songs about death, the devil, and evil.

Yeah, I know that's how you got along.
I know that's how you lived your life.

I find your songs hilarious but now your soul's precarious,
I find your songs amusing, but now your soul is in danger.

Singing your death, death, death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs.
Singing songs about death, the devil, and evil.

I'm just kidding, kid. Welcome to Hell, enjoy the buffet!
I'm just kidding with you. Welcome to Hell! Have a good time at the buffet!

Death, death, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs.
Songs about death, the devil, and evil.

Hell, you know that's how we get along.
That's how we live here in Hell.

The world is full of sinners so how can it be wrong,
The world is full of sinners, so why can't we celebrate what we love?

Singing death, death, death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs.
Singing songs about death, the devil, and evil.