Depression
mr.Bull Lyrics

Depression is strong I am weak
The overwhelming feeling of depression dominates my thoughts and emotions, making me feel powerless and incapable of overcoming it.

That's why I stay inside and heave
To cope with the heaviness of depression, I isolate myself from the outside world and struggle to take deep breaths.

That's why depression is inside of me
Depression has become ingrained within me, deeply rooted in my being.

That's why depression says it's kind to me
Despite its destructive nature, depression tricks me into believing that it is my only companion, offering a twisted sense of comfort.

That's why depression is blinding me
Depression distorts my perception of reality, making it difficult for me to see things clearly or find joy in anything.

Everything I see is a lie to me
My depressed mind interprets everything around me as false or deceptive, further contributing to my feelings of despair.

That's why depression is confining me
Depression has trapped me in its suffocating grip, restricting my freedom and hindering any hope of escape.

Thats why im dying with this depression inside of me
The weight of depression is slowly draining the life out of me, causing immense suffering and despair.

Life's so sad and gray
Existence feels overwhelmingly sorrowful and devoid of any vibrancy or joy.

Im as ice cold as grey
My emotional state is as frigid and lifeless as the color gray, lacking any warmth or vitality.

The whole world feels like a weight
The burden of the entire world seems to bear down on me, exacerbating my feelings of heaviness and helplessness.

Society i don't know how to navigate
I feel lost and overwhelmed by the complexities and expectations of society, unsure of how to fit in or find my place.

My body's heavy
My physical form feels weighed down by the mental and emotional strain of depression, further adding to my sense of fatigue.

My palms are sweaty
Anxiety grips me tightly, causing my hands to perspire in a physical manifestation of my inner turmoil.

My mind is trying to stay steady
Amidst the chaos of depression, I desperately attempt to maintain mental stability and clarity.

I'm not ready
I feel ill-prepared and unequipped to face the challenges and hardships that depression presents on a daily basis.

God please help me what's wrong with me
I plead for divine intervention and guidance, seeking answers and understanding regarding my internal struggles.

I'm trying to understand what I see
I make an effort to comprehend the world around me, even though depression distorts my perception and makes it incredibly difficult.

I wake up, eat, and go to sleep
My daily routine becomes a monotonous cycle of basic survival, lacking any genuine enjoyment or fulfillment.

Repeat everything and weep
I find myself stuck in a ceaseless loop of mundane activities, leading to tears of sadness and despair.

I let the disease seep
I allow depression to infiltrate every aspect of my life, surrendering to its destructive influence and power.

I think about people fighting over rubbish heap
Observing the world's conflicts and strife, I wonder why people engage in meaningless battles and squabbles.

I just want to leave using a quantum leap
Desiring an escape from the overwhelming pain, I yearn for a sudden and drastic change, a way to transcend my current existence.

Why do I feel like a whore who's cheap
My self-image is tarnished, making me feel worthless and disposable, as if I am just an object to be used.

Why do I feel like an outcast sheep
I experience a sense of alienation and isolation, feeling like I do not belong and that I am different from others.

I think I need to go drown my soul in a steep
I believe that immersing myself in darkness or engaging in self-destructive behavior would provide temporary relief for my inner torment.

God this shit is deep
I acknowledge the immense depth and complexity of my suffering, desperate for divine guidance and understanding.

What if i just ended it
Contemplating suicide as a potential solution to escape the pain and despair, I face the terrifying question of whether ending my life is the answer.

Everyone would benefit
Believing that others would be better off without me, I convince myself that my absence would bring relief and happiness to those around me.

My whole life i felt like a degenerate
Throughout my entire existence, I have continuously perceived myself as morally corrupt and devoid of worth or value.

The amount of pain im in you cant measure it
The intensity of my emotional pain is immeasurable, surpassing any quantifiable scale of suffering.

I mean come on nobody cares
Feeling abandoned and ignored, I believe that no one truly cares about my well-being or understands the depths of my struggles.

No one's ever there
I experience a profound sense of loneliness and abandonment, perceiving a lack of support or presence from others.

This burden it tears
The weight of my emotional burden is so overwhelming that it feels as though it is tearing my very being apart.

At my soul while everyone stares
While I carry this heavy burden within me, I feel scrutinized and judged by those around me, intensifying my feelings of isolation.

I feel like there's a ton of bricks on my chest
The weight of depression feels oppressive and suffocating, as if a heavy load of bricks is pressing down on my chest, making it difficult to breathe.

I lay my whole story open to digest
I expose the depths of my pain and struggles to others, hoping they can comprehend the magnitude of my suffering and offer support.

I guess i feel like i'm obsessive with all my ideas of civil unrest of the lest
I find myself consumed with thoughts of societal upheaval and unrest, fixating on the injustices and inequalities that plague the world.

I feel like my whole mind is cluttered in disarray
My thoughts and emotions are in a state of chaos and disorder, causing a sense of mental confusion and instability.

I feel like everyone wants me to pay
I perceive others as wanting retribution or punishment from me, intensifying my feelings of guilt and self-blame.

For a sin that I never obeyed
I experience a sense of guilt and shame for something I believe I have done wrong, even though I have not committed any actual wrongdoing.

I might as well delay this essay and start my decay
Feeling a complete lack of motivation and purpose, I contemplate neglecting my responsibilities and allowing myself to deteriorate further.

What if I took this gun
Considering the possibility of using a firearm as a means to end my life, contemplating suicide as an escape from my suffering.

And ended it all wouldn't it be fun
I view suicide as a way to find relief and perhaps even a twisted form of pleasure, as it would abruptly terminate my pain.

No but it would get rid of the pain of some
While suicide may provide relief for my own pain, I acknowledge that it would inadvertently cause pain and grief for others left behind.

People cause they don't care when i've had enough
I perceive others as indifferent to my suffering and believe that they would not care or understand when I have reached my breaking point.

They say god gives you what you can handle
There is a common belief that God assigns challenges and hardships to individuals based on their strength and ability to cope.

But right now my life i want to put on cancel
Despite this belief, I feel overwhelmed and desire to end my own life, wishing to terminate the pain and suffering I am currently enduring.

Every action i do feels like a gamble
Every decision or action I take feels risky and uncertain, as if I am constantly wagering my well-being and sanity.

I might as well place my head on a mantle
I consider surrendering to thoughts of self-destruction and placing myself in a vulnerable position, exposing my fragility and desperation.

I'm about to cock it
I am on the precipice of pulling the trigger of the gun, preparing to end my own life.

You can not a stop it
No one can prevent or hinder my suicidal intentions, as I have become resolute in my decision to take my own life.

I'm about to unload it
I am seconds away from firing the gun and releasing my pain and suffering in the most final and irreversible manner.

Good luck trying to block it
Any attempts to intervene or prevent me from ending my life would be futile, as I am determined to carry out this act.

Ok here it goes
I am bracing myself for the impending moment of self-destruction, fully aware of the irreversible consequences of my actions.

I'm about to blow
As I prepare to pull the trigger, my emotions and torment are reaching their breaking point, ready to explode in a final act of despair.

My brains out
I am about to commit suicide, ending my life by shooting myself in the head.

With one last go
With this final act, there is no turning back or second chance, as I am determined to end my suffering once and for all.

Now i'm leaving you depression
Through my suicide, I believe that I am escaping the clutches of depression, leaving it behind as I depart from this world.

Now begins my confessions
With my imminent death, I expect that the truth of my struggles and pain will be revealed, finally allowing others to understand the depths of my suffering.