Once A Tree debuted with a self-titled EP and the single "Light Me Up". Their first professional EP Thousand Lives, released in 2015 under Toronto-based Foreseen Entertainment, followed the single "Howling", inspired by their childhood religion. They continued working with Foreseen, going on to release their first album Phoenix in 2017. Rolling Stone named them "New Artists You Need to Know" and compared them favourably to Phantogram, Crystal Castles, and Chvrches. Phoenix won Best Electronic Music Album at the 2018 Indigenous Music Awards.
The duo released their second album Fool's Paradise independently in 2020. Fool's Paradise was described as more lighthearted than their previous work, which Hayden attributed to coming "to a much happier place in life". The single "Rush" was filmed in Los Angeles, and the acoustic version featured Boy Pape.
Jayli also acts and releases solo music, such as "Child of the Government" about her First Nations father being taken in the Sixties Scoop; Hayden is a visual artist and photographer. They co-write most of their songs, and produce most of their music videos themselves.
IN MY HEART
once a tree Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Sorta want somebody to just let me know they’re there
Sorta wanna drive through the night away from all these lies
I didn’t know that dreams could fall right through my eyes
I know I’m shy, I’ve hidden all my life
I wish I tried, some tears will never dry
Take all the pieces I let fall
I don’t need another reason to be sad
Oh all these screaming voices in my head
Telling me what I will never have
Oh all these screaming voices
In my head
In my head
I’ve given all I can but they’ve become my only friends
I don’t need another reason to be sad
Sorta wish I loved the sound of my regrets
Sorta wish I had a pack of poison cigarettes
Sorta wish I’d have a dream to last me all my life
Red roses in my coffin take me for a ride
Made it all the way to the future
Oh the world’s got a sick sense of humor
All the people I love were made of glass
And now they’re shattered and there’s no going back
Why me, why me, why me?
I don’t need another reason to be sad
Oh all these screaming voices in my head
Telling me what I will never have
Oh all these screaming voices
In my head
In my head
I’ve given all I can but they’ve become my only friends
I don’t need another reason to be sad
In my head
In my head
I’ve given all I can but they’ve become my only friends
I don’t need another reason to be sad
In my head
In my head
I’ve given all I can but they’ve become my only friends
I don’t need another reason to be sad
The lyrics of "In My Heart" by Once a Tree delve deep into themes of loneliness, longing for connection, inner struggles, and feelings of hopelessness. The singer expresses a desire to feel valued and cared for, as hinted in the opening lines where they yearn to be 'hand-picked' and acknowledged by someone who genuinely cares. This sentiment carries through the song as they navigate feelings of isolation and the need for reassurance that they are not alone in their struggles.
The line "I know I’m shy, I’ve hidden all my life" speaks to a deeper emotional barrier that the singer has built around themselves, possibly as a defense mechanism from past hurts or rejection. The mention of tears that never dry reflects a sense of perpetual sorrow and unresolved pain that weighs heavily on them, manifesting in feelings of loss and regret for what could have been.
The chorus amplifies the internal turmoil the singer is facing, with the repetition of "I don’t need another reason to be sad" underscoring a sense of resignation and emotional exhaustion. The 'screaming voices' in their head symbolize the intrusive thoughts and doubts that plague their mind, constantly reminding them of their perceived shortcomings and unfulfilled desires.
The imagery of red roses in the coffin and shattered glass loved ones further paints a picture of despair and a sense of finality. The singer feels as if they have reached a point of no return, where even the future holds a cruel irony and the fragility of life and relationships becomes painfully apparent. The repeated questioning of "Why me?" hints at a search for meaning amid the chaos and a plea for understanding in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges.
Overall, "In My Heart" encapsulates a poignant exploration of emotional struggles, self-doubt, and the search for solace in a world that feels increasingly isolating. The haunting melodies and introspective lyrics invite listeners to reflect on their own inner battles and the universal yearning for connection and understanding in times of darkness.
Line by Line Meaning
Sorta wanna be hand-picked like somebody cared
I long for the feeling of being chosen and valued by someone
Sorta want somebody to just let me know they’re there
I desire to feel the presence and support of someone in my life
Sorta wanna drive through the night away from all these lies
I feel a strong urge to escape from the deceitful aspects of reality
I didn’t know that dreams could fall right through my eyes
I never realized that my hopes and aspirations could be shattered so easily
I know I’m shy, I’ve hidden all my life
I am aware of my introverted nature and how I have concealed myself for so long
I wish I tried, some tears will never dry
I regret not making more effort and acknowledging that some sorrows are everlasting
Take all the pieces I let fall
Collect all the fragments of myself that I have allowed to slip away
I’m sad I lost
I feel sorrow for what I have given up or misplaced
I don’t need another reason to be sad
I do not require any more causes to feel unhappy
Oh all these screaming voices in my head
The relentless inner thoughts and doubts that trouble me constantly
Telling me what I will never have
Informing me of the things that I will never attain or achieve
Sorta wish I loved the sound of my regrets
I somewhat desire to find comfort in the memories of my past mistakes
Sorta wish I had a pack of poison cigarettes
I somewhat wish for a self-destructive coping mechanism like a pack of dangerous cigarettes
Sorta wish I’d have a dream to last me all my life
I somewhat wish for a lifelong dream to sustain me through all my days
Red roses in my coffin take me for a ride
Symbolic red roses in my burial as a final journey through the end of my life
Why me, why me, why me?
Repeating questions of frustration and self-pity regarding unfortunate circumstances
Lyrics © TUNECORE INC
Written by: Hayden John Kelcey, Jayli Wilson, Hayden Wolf
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind