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Helge Schneider (born August 30, 1955 in Mülheim an der Ruhr) is a German comedian, jazz musician, author, film and theatre director, and actor.

After dropping out of high school, he started an apprenticeship as a construction draftsman. He soon changed plans and was admitted to the Duisburg conservatoire to study piano, after passing an entrance exam for particularly gifted applicants (it later turned out that his diploma was invalid since he dropped out of high school too early). He then toured as a little-known jazz musician and as entertainer, basically as stand-up comedian in local clubs. Schneider plays various instruments such as the Hammond organ, acoustic and electric guitar, ukulele, drums, piano, accordion, trumpet and others.

He became a popular comedian in the 1990s and still is among the best known German comedians. He toured and still tours (alone and with his bands "Hardcore", "The Firefuckers" and others) through major concert halls with a mixture of music and comedy. He frequently appears on German TV, and is probably best known for his song Katzenklolied (Kitty Litter Box Song): "Katzenklo, Katzenklo, ja das macht die Katze froh" ("Kitty litter box, kitty litter box, that makes the cat happy."), a number one hit in 1994. He wrote, directed and starred in four movies. In 2007 he appeared as Adolf Hitler in a satirical film: Mein Führer: The Truly Truest Truth About Adolf Hitler.

Schneider has written nine books, including an autobiography ("There is my whole life in this book, up to right now. The second part comes in thirty, forty years") and a musical, "Mendy - das Wusical", which appeared at Bochum Theatre in 2004.

His comic techniques include parody, use of the local Ruhr area dialect, surprising use of infantile language and other unexpected changes in style, slapstick/physical humour, Dada like absurdities, sudden and unexpected use of crude/sexual humour, references to national and international highbrow and lowbrow culture, and phonetic and declamatory playfulness and exaggeration. Most of his material is heavily language dependent and therefore does not translate well into other languages.
Bonbon aus Wurst
by Helge Schneider

Sie war sehr nett und hatte ne schöne Dauerkrause. Ich küsste sie I'm Voraus und nahm sie mit nach Hause! Ich zeigte ihr den Keller und auch den Bügelraum. Doch für all die schönen Zimmer interessierte sie sich kaum!
Es war das Bonbon aus Wurst das ihr Glück gebracht -tingeling - Bonbon aus Wurst die ganze Nacht. Bonbon aus Wurst, riesengroß. Bonbon aus Wurst ganz famos - tingelingelin!
Sie hatte eine Freundin die hieß Angelika. Sie kochte wie ein Rohrspatz und es schmeckte immer gut. Sie kam uns gern besuchen und war mein Schatz nicht da. Dann wollt sie keinen Kuchen, der Fall war für sie klar!
Es war das Bonbon aus Wurst das ihr Glück gebracht -hui - Bonbon aus Wurst die ganze Nacht - und alle - Bonbon aus Wurst, ganz famos. Bonbon aus Wurst, riesengroß! Hey kleines Orgelsolo - hey - das reicht Buddy!!
Ich wollte singen können, so richtig mit viel Charme. Deshalb nahm ich Unterricht bei einer mir bekannten Dam. Sie sang das hohe see, doch schielte sie dabei auf gar keinen Fall in ihre Gesangsstundenkartei!
Es war das Bonbon aus Wurst das ihr Glück gebracht -tingeling - Bonbon aus Wurst die ganze Nacht. Bonbon aus Wurst, riesengroß. Bonbon aus Wurst ganz famos!
Ich ging auch einmal Schwimmen in einem Hallenbad. Da passierte das Unglück, mein Bonbon word ganz hart. Na klar das viele Wasser, es war der Grund dafür. Das Publikum das klatschte Applaus für mein Kür!
Es war das Bonbon aus Wurst lalalala hey! Bonbon aus Wurst lalalala. Bonbon aus Wurst, riesengroß. Bonbon aus Wurst ganz famos! Es war das Bonbon aus Wurst das ihr Glück gebracht - hey - Bonbon aus Wurst die ganze Nacht. Bonbon aus Wurst, riesengroß. Bonbon aus Wurst in der Hos! Lalalala... Hey! Und Schluß!

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