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Pale Shelter
Tears for Fears Lyrics


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How can I be sure?
When your intrusion is my illusion
How can I be sure
When all the time you changed my mind
I asked for more and more
How can I be sure

When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)
You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)
And I can't operate on this failure
When all I want to be is
Completely in command

How can I be sure
For all you say you keep me waiting
How can I be sure
When all you do is see me through
I asked for more and more
How can I be sure

When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)
You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)
And I can't operate on this failure
When all I want to be is
Completely in command

I've been here before
There is no why, no need to try
I thought you had it all
I'm calling you, I'm calling you
I ask for more and more
How can I be sure

When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)
You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)
And I can't operate on this failure
When all I want to be is
Completely in command

You don't give me love
You don't give me love

You don't give me love
You don't give me love

You don't give me love
You don't give me love

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to "Pale Shelter" by Tears for Fears are about the desperation of not being able to rely on someone for the love and support that we need in life. The song explores the theme of emotional vulnerability, and the feelings of insecurity that can arise when we don't trust or don't feel trusted by the people closest to us, or when we are unable to articulate or communicate our needs to others.


The opening lines of the song, "How can I be sure? When your intrusion is my illusion," suggest the confusion and anxiety that can arise when our perceptions of a situation or a relationship don't match up to reality. The singer is questioning whether they can trust the other person, and whether the relationship can ever be fulfilling if they can't depend on them for emotional support. The repeated refrain of "You don't give me love" underscores the sense of isolation and disconnection that the singer feels.


As the song progresses, the singer becomes more and more frustrated, and the lyrics become more anguished: "All I want to be is completely in command..." The words "pale shelter" may refer to the idea of seeking refuge in a relationship that feels superficial or inadequate, "cold hands" may be an image of being left out in the cold, and "failure" may refer to the feeling of not being able to connect with the other person. By the end of the song, the singer is resigned to their situation, admitting that they have "been here before," and suggesting that there is "no why, no need to try."


Overall, "Pale Shelter" is a powerful and emotive portrayal of the anxieties and uncertainties that can come with love and relationships.


Line by Line Meaning

How can I be sure?
Expressing doubt in the face of conflicting thoughts or emotions. Seeking reassurance.


When your intrusion is my illusion
Questioning the reality of a relationship, feeling uncertain of the other person's intentions.


How can I be sure
Reiterating the initial doubt, still searching for certainty.


When all the time you changed my mind
Feeling manipulated or influenced by the other person, unsure of one's own thoughts and decisions.


I asked for more and more
Requesting more affection or attention from the other person.


How can I be sure
Asking the same question again, still seeking clarity and trust.


When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)
Feeling emotionally neglected or abandoned by the other person, receiving cold comfort.


You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)
Repeating the lack of affection from the other person, feeling physically distant or disconnected.


And I can't operate on this failure
Feeling unable to function properly due to the dysfunctional relationship.


When all I want to be is Completely in command
Desiring control and agency over one's own life and emotions, striving for independence.


For all you say you keep me waiting
Distrusting the other person's promises or excuses, feeling kept in suspense or delayed gratification.


When all you do is see me through
Feeling perceived or understood only superficially or incompletely by the other person.


I've been here before
Experiencing a recurrent pattern of unsatisfying or unfulfilling relationships.


There is no why, no need to try
Lacking motivation or justification for the relationship, feeling apathetic or resigned.


I thought you had it all
Initially thinking highly of the other person, believing they possessed desirable qualities or traits.


I'm calling you, I'm calling you
Reaching out to the other person, attempting to connect or reconcile.


You don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)
Repeating the same sentiment about emotional deprivation from the other person.


You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)
Reiterating the physical and emotional disconnect with the other person.


And I can't operate on this failure
Feeling incapacitated and unable to function within the constraints of the relationship.


When all I want to be is Completely in command
Reaffirming the desire for autonomy and authority in one's own life and relationships.


You don't give me love
Concluding the song with the repeated assertion of emotional deprivation and disconnection from the other person.


You don't give me love
Finalizing the song with the same repeated statement about the lacking affection in the relationship.




Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: ROLAND ORZABAL

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

Marcys Helen0509

LYRICS
How can I be sure?
When your intrusion is my illusion
How can I be sure
When all the time you changed my mind
I asked for more and more
How can I be sure
When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)
You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)
And I can't operate on this failure
When all I want to be is
Completely in command
How can I be sure
For all you say you keep me waiting
How can I be sure
When all you do is see me through
I asked for more and more
How can I be sure
When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)
You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)
And I can't operate on this failure
When all I want to be is
Completely in command
I've been here before
There is no why, no need to try
I thought you had it all
I'm calling you, I'm calling you
I ask for more and more
How can I be sure
When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)
You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)
And I can't operate on this failure
When all I want to be is
Completely in command
You don't give me love
You don't give me love
You don't give me love
You don't give me love
You don't give me love
You don't give me love
☻️☻️☻️☻️



Saraliza313

How can I be sure?
When your intrusion is my illusion
How can I be sure
When all the time you changed my mind
I asked for more and more
How can I be sure
When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)
You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)
And I can't operate on this failure
When all I want to be is
Completely in command
How can I be sure
For all you say you keep me waiting
How can I be sure
When all you do is see me through
I asked for more and more
How can I be sure
When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)
You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)
And I can't operate on this failure
When all I want to be is
Completely in command
I've been here before
There is no why, no need to try
I thought you had it all
I'm calling you, I'm calling you
I ask for more and more
How can I be sure
When you don't give me love (You gave me pale shelter)
You don't give me love (you give me cold hands)
And I can't operate on this failure
When all I want to be is
Completely in command
You don't give me love
You don't give me love
You don't give me love
You don't give me love
You don't give me love
You don't give me love
Source: LyricFind



All comments from YouTube:

Frankincensed

Not just a hit maker. These guys really knew how to arrange and produce songs, incorporating interesting breaks, instrumentation, lyrics, and passion that helped put them above the majority of 80s bands.

Diego Cardoso

#brasil

Chris Gribben

Well said.

Reuben Herrera

Always

John Pothen

The guy on keyboard is a producer

18 More Replies...

Sympathy ForTheDevil

To understand this song and the entire debut album it's on (The Hurting, 1983), one thing must be said: both members of the band were enchanted by the work of the psychotherapist Arthur Janov, whose most renowned book was Primal Scream (1970). Janov was the inventor of “primal therapy”, a treatment that encouraged the patient to explore his childhood traumas, experiencing them for a second time and then expressing the long-repressed pain. One way to release this pain is this primal scream. The same name of the duo, not by chance, comes from a psychotherapeutic treatment developed by Janov, during which the patient lives again the earliest sensations of the perinatal age, hence the name “Tears for Fears”. Both members felt that their parents had not given them love, but only a weak, “Pale Shelter”. Composing The Hurting was a way to throw out all the things they absorbed in the childhood, to take the feelings of abandonment, rejection and anger and turn them into something active. With its pure emotions, The Hurting is the album for those who have experienced what being imprisoned in our own emotions means; for those who have felt the desperation that makes its way, when you cannot escape, whether it comes from childhood or not. Source: auralcrave.com

Cary Heuchert

Of course, John and Yoko also did primal scream therapy with Dr. Janov, influencing the Plastic Ono Band album, released in October 1970.

jim voz heer

Thank you very much for this comment. Very important info!

guineawuv

Oh wow, that is really cool to know. Thanks.

Immahoodlum

Very impressed by your knowledge and thankful for your patient explanation.

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