Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis
Tom Waits Lyrics

Hey Charlie, I'm pregnant
Hello Charlie, I am with child

Living on 9th Street
I reside on ninth street

Right above a dirty bookstore
My apartment is located above an unclean book shop

Off Euclid Avenue
The location is Euclid Avenue

I stopped taking dope
I ceased my drug use

And I quit drinking whiskey
I stopped consuming whiskey

And my old man plays the trombone
My partner is a trombone player

And works out at the track
He exercises at the racetrack

He says that he loves me
He declares his love for me

Even though its not his baby
Despite the fact that he is not the biological father

He says that he'll raise him up
He intends to raise the child

Like he would his own son
In the same manner as he would if he were the father

And he gave me a ring
He presented me with a ring

That was worn by his mother
Which belonged to his mother

And he takes me out dancin'
We go out to dance together

Every Saturday night
On a weekly basis

Hey Charlie, I think about you
Hello Charlie, you are often on my mind

Every time I pass a fillin' station
When I come across a gasoline station

On account of all the grease
Due to all of the oil

You used to wear in your hair
That you used to apply to your hair

I still have that record
I still possess that vinyl disc

Of Little Anthony and The Imperials
Featuring Little Anthony and The Imperials

But someone stole my record player
However, another individual stole my record player

Now how do ya like that?
Isn't that a shame?

Hey Charlie, I almost went crazy
Hello Charlie, I nearly lost my sanity

After Mario got busted
Once Mario was arrested

I went back to Omaha
I returned to Omaha

To live with my folks
To reside with my family

But everyone I used to know
However, all of my previous acquaintances

Was either dead or in prison
Were deceased or incarcerated

So I came back to Minneapolis
Therefore, I returned to Minneapolis

This time I think I'm gonna stay
It appears that I will stay here for the foreseeable future

Hey Charlie, I think I'm happy
Hello Charlie, I believe I am content

For the first time since my accident
For the initial instance following my incident

I wish I had all the money
I desire to possess all of the funds

We used to spend on dope
That we once spent on narcotics

I'd buy me a used car lot
I would purchase a pre-owned car dealership

And I wouldn't sell any of 'em
And I would not sell any vehicles

I'd just drive a different car every day
I would select a different car to operate daily

Dependin' on how I feel
Depending on my emotions

Hey Charlie, for chrissakes
Hello Charlie, for goodness' sake

Do you want to know the truth of it?
Are you interested in knowing the truth?

I don't have a husband
I am not currently married

He don't play the trombone
And he does not play the trombone either

I need to borrow money
It is imperative that I acquire a loan

To pay this lawyer
To compensate this attorney

And Charlie, hey
And Charlie

I'll be eligible for parole
I will have an opportunity for parole

Come Valentine's Day
On the date of Valentine's Day