Barış Akarsu (June 29, 1979 – July 4, 2007) was a Turkish rock musician and… Read Full Bio ↴Barış Akarsu (June 29, 1979 – July 4, 2007) was a Turkish rock musician and actor who rose to fame after winning the television series Akademi Türkiye (Academy Turkey) in July 2004. He released two studio albums in three years and was also acting in television series Yalancı Yarim (My Lying Lover) which aired on Star TV.

On 29 June 2007, he was seriously injured in a car accident on his way back from a charity concert for children. After spending five days in an intensive care unit, he died of complications from the accident on 4 July 2007, at the age of 28.

İsterdim
Barış Akarsu Lyrics

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Ölümü düşünmek gözlerinde çığlıklarla
Kuşlara isyan etmek uçamamaktan
Yüreğimdeki sancıları yaşamayı sevmek
Öğrenmemek bildiklerini de silmek

İsterdim yeniden doğmak ya da hepten yok olmak
İsterdim daha iyi olmak bir melek gibi
Kanat açıp dağlara uçmak

Birileri buna izin vermedi
Buralarda yaşamak izne tabi

Saçına dokunmak rüzgarların temasıyla
Yeniden coşabilmek karanfillerle
Uçurumları yenmek, kaygan zeminlerde
İsyanlara dalmak deli cesaretiyle

İsterdim yeniden doğmak ya da hepten yok olmak
İsterdim daha iyi olmak bir melek gibi
Kanat açıp dağlara uçmak
Birileri buna izin vermedi
Buralarda yaşamak izne tabi

Acıyı yok etmek kalbinden sevdiklerimin
Geceyi çekip almak günlerinden
Maviye akmak sisli güz denizinde
Günahları affetmek Tanrı'nın dileğiyle

İsterdim yeniden doğmak ya da hepten yok olmak
İsterdim daha iyi olmak bir melek gibi
Kanat açıp dağlara uçmak

Birileri buna izin vermedi
Buralarda yaşamak izne tabi

Overall Meaning

The song "İsterdim" by Barış Akarsu explores the conflicted feelings of someone who longs for a different and better life, but feels trapped and unable to escape from their current reality. The opening lines reveal a deep pain and anguish as the singer considers the idea of death, symbolized by the screaming in their eyes. They are frustrated with their inability to fly like the birds and rebel against the constraints of their circumstances. However, they also express a paradoxical desire to live with the pain in their heart and erase what they have learned. This could be interpreted as a desire to start afresh or as a method of coping with the hardships of life by ignoring them.

In the following stanzas, the singer continues to express their unfulfilled dreams and yearnings, using images of freedom and nature as a form of escape. They want to experience the touch of the wind in their hair, to defeat the challenges of the world, and to indulge in their rebellious instincts with wild abandon. The repeated phrase "isterdim" throughout the song emphasizes the longing for these impossible desires to come to fruition. The singer's lament is that they are not allowed to live as they want to, and that they are restricted to living in the place where they are allowed to exist.

Overall, "İsterdim" is a poignant and reflective song that captures the frustration and yearning of a person who longs for a different life, but feels helpless in the face of their circumstances.

Line by Line Meaning

Ölümü düşünmek gözlerinde çığlıklarla
Thinking about death with screams in your eyes

Kuşlara isyan etmek uçamamaktan
Rebelling against birds for not being able to fly

Yüreğimdeki sancıları yaşamayı sevmek
Liking to live with the pains in my heart

Öğrenmemek bildiklerini de silmek
Not learning and erasing what you know

İsterdim yeniden doğmak ya da hepten yok olmak
I wished to be born again or completely disappear

İsterdim daha iyi olmak bir melek gibi
I wished to be better, like an angel

Kanat açıp dağlara uçmak
Open my wings and fly to the mountains

Birileri buna izin vermedi
Someone did not allow this

Buralarda yaşamak izne tabi
Living here is subject to permission

Saçına dokunmak rüzgarların temasıyla
Touching your hair with the touch of the wind

Yeniden coşabilmek karanfillerle
Being able to revive with carnations