A Night I Can't Remember
Cledus T. Judd Lyrics

Paul does this kind of thing everyday
Paul is used to doing things without proper planning

Yeah, like what, skip a rehearsal, you know we got the CNL Awards tomorrow night
Paul is known to neglect important work like rehearsals

What are we gonna do about a drummer?
They need a drummer for their performance

Hey you, come here, you ever played drums before?
They are asking a random person if they can play drums

No
The person they asked cannot play drums

Want to?
They are offering the person a chance to play drums

Yeah
The person accepts the offer

Get in there and beat em then!
They tell the person to just start playing the drums

Okay hot dog, start the song you little show boat!
They are teasing the drummer while telling them to start playing

Who do you think you are, Tommy Lee Jhones?
They are jokingly comparing the drummer to famous rock drummer Tommy Lee Jones

Not bad for a four year old!
They are impressed with the drummer's playing

Been dang near two years since I've had a beer
The singer hasn't had a drink in almost two years

By gosh that's changing tonight
The singer is planning to drink tonight

Gonna start me a tab and call me a cab (>whistle< Taxie!)
The singer is planning to drink so much that they'll need a taxi to get home

Might even get in a fight
The singer is open to the idea of getting into a fight while drunk

I ain't gonna hold it forever
The singer is not going to resist drinking anymore

Gonna have myself a night I can't remember
The singer is planning to drink so much that they'll forget the events of the night

Miller Lights, shot a crown
The singer is drinking Miller Lite beer and Crown Royal whiskey

Man that stuff hurts going down
The singer is not used to drinking anymore

One too many coke and jacks
The singer has had too many whiskey and coke drinks

It'll all come flooding back
The singer knows they will regret the amount they are drinking later

That ol' quervo's way too strong
The singer is struggling to handle the strength of the Jose Cuervo tequila they're drinking

But one more 'for I go home
The singer wants to drink one more before leaving

Fire up the blender
The singer is planning to make a blended drink

Get me a cold towel and a gun
The singer needs a cold towel (for their hangover) and a gun (jokingly implying they want to die after their night of drinking)

Drunk ain't my style
The singer does not want to be known for drinking

And it'll be a long while 'for I pull that stunt again
The singer does not plan to drink like this again for a long time

Oh my head
The singer has a hangover

Tylenol and tums
The singer is taking pain and acid relief medication to alleviate their hangover

Oh no here it comes
The singer is about to throw up due to their hangover

I'm praying to the porcline
The singer is jokingly saying they are praying to the toilet due to their hangover

This hangover can't last forever
The singer is hopeful that their hangover will eventually go away

Dun had myself a night I can't remember
The singer drank so much that they cannot remember the events of the night

Shot out the lights, kick down the door
The singer caused property damage while drunk

Woke up face down on the floor
The singer passed out while drunk

I'd better call someone and ask how I'd wound up in this cast
The singer is realizing they are injured and needs to find out what happened

I've got stamps on both my hands
The singer went to a bar/club where they get their hand stamped upon entry and upon getting a drink

I wonder who slung that beer can right through my winder
The singer's window was broken by someone who threw a beer can

My dang liver's nearly gone
The singer is acknowledging the damage their drinking has caused their liver

And this ain't where I belong
The singer is realizing that they do not want to be known as someone who drinks excessively

Hey thanks bartender
The singer jokingly thanks the bartender for filling them up with drinks

Dun had myself a night I can't remember
The singer drank so much that they cannot remember the events of the night

Twelve steps my foot!
The singer is not interested in joining a recovery program

I can't even take two!
The singer is jokingly saying they cannot even take two steps without falling while drunk

And by the way kid, you're hired!
The singer is hiring the young drummer to play with them

Just no drinking!
The singer will not tolerate drinking while working with the young drummer

I made it
The singer is happy to have survived their wild night of drinking