Please Take the Girl
Cledus T. Judd Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
If he'd just dig the bait.
He said: "Get lost, Dad, I'm watchin' mud wrestling,
"Go jump in the lake.
"Why don't you take that neighbour girl?
"The one that favours our dog."
His dad said: "Son, she might sink the boat,
"She weighs more than our hog."
"She's got a tackle box that you'd kill for,
"A ZebCo rod and reel.
"She won the Junior Bass Masters Tourney,
"And I just ate oatmeal,
"And I'm afraid I might hurl.
"Daddy, please, please take the girl."
Same limey boy, same large girl,
Eleven years with no date.
They finally married when they both realised,
They'd get a big tax break.
One night at the Laundrymat,
Washin' underwear.
A stranger pulled a water-gun;
Arnie soiled another pair, (Whoops.)
And whimpered:
Ain't got no money, in my wallet.
She's got the credit cards.
But they're all run up over the limit,
Won't get you very far.
And though her hair's up in curls, and she looks like Milton Burle,
She ain't wearin' fake pearls,
Mister please, please, please take the girl.
Well she ain't bad when she gets a couple of coats of that cold
cream on her, and a sack over her head.
A toothless Arnie, a whale of a woman,
Forty years down the tune.
One day they found him with a shotgun,
Buck-naked on the roof.
Doctor's said: "He's lost his mind,
"We'll have to take him away." (No o o o!)
As they strapped that straight jacket on him,
Someone heard him say -- he babled out loud:
If you'd lived with her, long as I have,
You'd be slap crazy too.
She's the one that's really a psycho,
More than a few screws loose.
She's nutty as a squirrel;
Doctor, please, please take the girl.
Get her outta here!
Arnie's Daddy said he'd take him fishin',
If he'd just dig the bait.
Is it Tim McGraw or John Anderson,
I'm trying to imitate?
I'm sorry Tim!
The song "Please Take the Girl" by Cledus T. Judd is a whimsical take on a romantic relationship between the singer, Arnie, and a larger girl, whom his father urges him to take fishing. The lyrics explore various moments in their lives, including their marriage for a tax break, doing laundry together, and Arnie's eventual insanity caused by living with the girl for too long. Despite the humorous approach, the song also suggests that love can develop between unlikely partners and that relationships take effort to maintain.
The first verse sets up the story, with Arnie's father offering to take him fishing if he digs the bait. However, Arnie is more interested in watching mud wrestling and refuses to go fishing until his father suggests that he take the "neighbor girl," who is larger and favored by their dog. Arnie is hesitant at first, but when his father mentions that the girl is an excellent fisher and has a tackle box that Arnie would be jealous of, he agrees to take her along. In the end, Arnie asks his father to take the girl, hoping to catch some fish.
The second verse jumps ahead to Arnie and the girl getting married for a tax break after 11 years with no date. They are doing laundry together when a stranger pulls a water gun on Arnie, which leads to him soiling another pair of underwear. Arnie laments their financial situation, with the girl having all the credit cards but them being maxed out. Despite her appearance being less than desirable, Arnie pleads with the stranger to take her away.
The final verse takes a dark turn, with Arnie having lost his mind after being with the girl for so long. He finds himself on the roof, naked with a shotgun, and is taken away by doctors. As he's being strapped into a straight jacket, he rants about the girl being the true psycho and more insane than himself. This verse provides a sense of closure to the story, with Arnie's fate sealed and the listener left to draw their own conclusions about the girl.
Overall, "Please Take the Girl" is a humorous and lighthearted take on romance that explores what happens when unlikely partners come together. While the story ends on a dark note, the song is ultimately about finding love and making relationships work through the ups and downs of life.
Line by Line Meaning
Arnie's Daddy said he'd take him fishin',
Arnie's father promised to take him fishing if he would help with finding bait.
If he'd just dig the bait.
The father requested Arnie to dig the bait if he wanted to go fishing with his father.
He said: "Get lost, Dad, I'm watchin' mud wrestling,
Arnie chose to watch mud wrestling instead of helping his father find bait for fishing.
"Go jump in the lake.
Arnie rudely told his father to leave him alone and go away.
"Why don't you take that neighbour girl?
Arnie's father suggested Arnie bring along the overweight neighbour girl for fishing.
"The one that favours our dog."
The neighbour girl is referred to as unattractive and desperate, showing an extreme liking towards their dog.
His dad said: "Son, she might sink the boat,
Arnie's father rejected the idea of bringing the neighbour girl on the boat due to her being overweight, which could lead to sinking the boat.
"She weighs more than our hog."
The neighbour girl is depicted as grossly overweight, even more than their pet hog.
And Arnie said:
Arnie is starting to have second thoughts about taking the neighbour girl fishing.
"She's got a tackle box that you'd kill for,
Arnie saw the neighbour girl's tackle box and fishing gear and noted that it was top-notch quality.
"A ZebCo rod and reel.
The neighbour girl had a fishing rod and reel that was made by Zebco, a well-known and respected brand of fishing gear.
"She won the Junior Bass Masters Tourney,
The neighbour girl had won a fishing competition called the Junior Bass Masters Tourney.
"And I just ate oatmeal,
Arnie feels like he has nothing to offer in comparison to the neighbour girl who is skilled at fishing.
"And I'm afraid I might hurl.
Arnie is worried that he might vomit on the fishing trip due to his lack of experience or anxiety.
"Daddy, please, please take the girl."
Arnie pleads with his father to take the neighbour girl fishing despite her being overweight and unattractive, so he can benefit from her fishing skills.
Same limey boy, same large girl,
Arnie didn't have any romantic relationship until he met the same neighbour girl he once refused to take fishing.
Eleven years with no date.
Arnie and the neighbour girl didn't date for over a decade after their first encounter.
They finally married when they both realised,
Arnie and the neighbour girl got married only after they noticed that they would get a huge tax break if they got married.
They'd get a big tax break.
Arnie and the neighbour girl discovered that getting married would help them earn a considerable tax incentive.
One night at the Laundrymat,
Arnie and the neighbour girl were doing laundry one evening.
Washin' underwear.
They were washing their clothes, specifically their underwear.
A stranger pulled a water-gun;
An unknown person pulled out a water-gun and started shooting them with it.
Arnie soiled another pair, (Whoops.)
Arnie accidentally defecated himself in response to the shock of being hit by the water-gun.
"Ain't got no money, in my wallet.
Arnie admits that he has no money in his wallet.
She's got the credit cards.
The neighbour girl has all their credit cards.
But they're all run up over the limit,
Their credit card balance is overdue and fully utilized.
Won't get you very far.
They realize that their financial situation is worse than they initially predicted.
And though her hair's up in curls, and she looks like Milton Burle,
The neighbour girl may have an unattractive appearance, with curly hair and a resemblance to the male entertainer Milton Berle.
She ain't wearin' fake pearls,
The neighbour girl's jewelry is not of high-value or artificial likes fake pearls.
Mister please, please, please take the girl.
Arnie pleads with an unknown person to take the neighbour girl away from him as she is causing more of a problem than solution.
Well she ain't bad when she gets a couple of coats of that cold cream on her, and a sack over her head.
Arnie sarcastically remarks that his wife looks okay when she wears heavy make-up and covers her head with a sack.
A toothless Arnie, a whale of a woman,
After many years, Arnie and his wife have aged - Arnie no longer has all his teeth and the neighbour girl is still grossly overweight.
Forty years down the tune.
They have been together for 40 years since their marriage.
One day they found him with a shotgun,
Arnie was discovered holding a shotgun on a certain day.
Buck-naked on the roof.
Arnie was without clothes while standing on the roof of a structure.
Doctor's said: "He's lost his mind,
The medical diagnosis for Arnie was mental instability or insanity.
"We'll have to take him away." (No o o o!)
The doctors have decided to take Arnie away from his home for his own safety.
As they strapped that straight jacket on him,
The doctors restrained Arnie with a straight jacket.
Someone heard him say -- he babled out loud:
Arnie shouted a message out loud that someone overheard.
"If you'd lived with her, long as I have,
Arnie is saying that if someone lived with his wife as long as he has, they'd be on the brink of insanity too.
"You'd be slap crazy too.
Living with his wife has affected his mental well-being greatly and caused him to lose his sanity.
"She's the one that's really a psycho,
Arnie believed that his wife was the reason behind his current mental state and called her a psycho.
"More than a few screws loose.
Arnie thinks his wife is mentally unsound and has an unstable mind.
"She's nutty as a squirrel;
Arnie compares his wife's craziness to that of a squirrel, which is not a compliment.
Doctor, please, please take the girl.
Arnie plea's with the doctor to take his wife away from him for his own well-being.
Get her outta here!
Arnie exclaims his frustration while demanding that his wife be removed from his sight.
"Is it Tim McGraw or John Anderson,
Arnie tries to recall which famous singer he is trying to impersonate.
I'm trying to imitate?
Arnie ends his song wondering which popular country singer he has been attempting to sound like.
Contributed by Jack V. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
Kyle Hearnsberger
LOLLL holy crap this is hilarious !!!! The non-parody from Mr. Tim McGraw - I try not to cry every time I hear that LAST verse.
Michael Roberts
I try but don’t succeed. Very good songs
Melissa Williams
Oh, my god! I love it. 😁
Ash
Honestly this song perfectly encapsulates small town America. Never leave for the big city, settle on a somewhat okay person that you (hopefully) aren’t related to, get hitched at the courthouse and have the reception at the hall.
Michael Martin
That’s funny
LNG Newbz 😍 Nurse Amy
The greatest song in history
NickiRocky
AHHAHA I LOVE COUNTRY TO DEATH>> AND THIS IS SOO HILARIOUSE!!! IMA BUY IT ON ITUNES! HAHHAHAHA
Paul Hampton
3:22 to 3.25 explains it all in today's SOCIETY !!!!...
James Cline
Lmfao hahaha
IceFalcon224
Sorry Tim “ at the end lol