Taking My Ball
Eminem Lyrics

Yo
Introducing the song.

Dre, man
Addressing Dr. Dre, the record producer and mentor.

Make my vocals sound sexy (woo)
Requesting Dr. Dre to enhance the quality of the vocals. Emphasizing his desire to make them sound appealing.

Come on, man, come on, man
Urging Dr. Dre to comply with the request.

Okay
Acknowledging Dr. Dre's acceptance of the request.

It feels so wrong 'cause it feels so right But it's alright, it's okay with me
Expressing the desire to do something that feels inappropriate but is personally acceptable.

I'll do my steps all by myself I don't need nobody to play with me
Hesitant to involve others in his activities and suggesting that he can manage them alone.

But if you just give me a chance I can put you in a trance the way I dance
Confident in his ability to impress and influence others.

But don't nobody wanna play with me So I'm takin' my ball and goin' home, home
Feeling disheartened and unaccepted by his peers, deciding to abandon the situation entirely.

I'm that guy, man Shove a diamond up my hind end And crush it with my butt muscles while I cut vocals
Arrogantly asserting dominance, even suggesting that he can crush a diamond with his butt muscles while recording.

Slut poke holes in ya shirt, jump in mud puddles While I stomp mudholes in ya ass, girl Now let's cuddle
Using inappropriate language and making threats to appear tough, followed by an ironic exclamation to suggest comfort.

Blood curdlin', you're gurglin' on your blood, what'll I do for my next trick, I'm feelin' wonderful
Describing violent actions and then immediately switching to an ironic tone, highlighting the contradictory behavior.

I think I might just do somethin' a little less subtle Shove a fuckin' Tonka truck up a little kid's butthole (oh)
Making outrageous and inappropriate suggestions to shock and disturb the listener.

Feel the wrath of a psychopath slash ambassador of the Valentine's Day Massacre slash assassin I slash her in the ass with an icicle And leave her layin' a blood bath While I put a catheter in and jump in the bath with her In my Spider-Man mask, man
Describing violent and disturbing actions in graphic detail, demonstrating a troubled and unstable persona.

Just imagine the fun I can have with a strap on Stick it up Kim Kardashian's ass and make the bitch run a triathlon
Making derogatory comments towards Kim Kardashian and detailing an outlandish and nonsensical idea.

Are those pistachios? Damn, I'd like to have some Layin' on the patio, man, rollin' a fat one
Abruptly changing the topic and showing interest in pistachios and the idea of smoking.

Shady, drop the magic marker, put the cap on Goddamn, man, are you that much of an asshole?
Telling himself to stop writing and criticizing his own behavior.

I'm like Houdini Tuck my teenie-eenie-weenie between each One of my thighs and make it disappear like a genie Make the shit disappear like Tara Reid in a bikini (oh)
Using wordplay and clever illusions, describing his ability to impress with his creativity.

Believe me homie, you don't know the meanin' of a meanie They call me the fruit loop from Jupiter I'm tryin' to maneuver the hoover up in your poop shoot
Asserting that he is the most extreme and cruel person around, using absurd imagery to convey offensiveness.

Don't move or ya might get it stuck so fuckin' far in your uvula You ain't gonna know what he was tryna do to ya gluteus
Using vulgar language and obscene descriptions to appear intimidating and threatening.

Totally tubular, sniffin' glue through a tube in the studio Now who do ya think is more fruitier?
Using mocking and sarcastic language to provoke and ridicule someone.

Wiener smothered in peanut butter puttin' on a tube of ya eye shadow And man, it look nice, you should have seen it, mother
Making inappropriate comments and joking about an unflattering situation.

I think I'll put a piece of art on my Visa card Then I'll go beat Mischa Barton with a Cuisinart
Talking about buying art and then making up an aggressive action towards Mischa Barton.

Then mosy on over to Rosie O'Donnell's With McDonald's, jump on her lap and watch the Sopranos
Joking about the idea of going to Rosie O'Donnell's house, bringing fast food and watching a popular TV show together.

Shady, what are you doin' chewin' on a human? Grab an aluminum bat, hit Heidi Klum in the back, boom
Joking about eating humans and making up a scenario where he hits Heidi Klum with a metal bat.

And assumin' the fact that dude's in the backroom Usin' the bathroom vacuum and a raccoon
Making up a ridiculous and unbelievable situation to make the listener laugh.

Skewin' a rat or cat, screwin' a baboon You shouldn't ask what is he doin' with that broom
Making absurd and unusual descriptions, adding a sense of unpredictability and humor to the song.

You should be glad he ain't leave you full of stab wounds You in a trance, I'm back doin' my dance, ooh
After describing unconventional situations, hinting that things could have been worse but switching back to a description of him dancing.

But they're afraid I might get Sarah Palin by the hair And make her wear a bathin' suit and take her parasailin'
Making jokes about Sarah Palin's appearance and insinuating that he could embarrass her publicly.

Shady, why do you gotta pick on the lady for? Why you make her read eighty-four bedtime stories to you in baby talk?
Using a questioning tone to make a comment and then joking about Sarah Palin's intelligence.

'Cause I'm scared, there's monster's under my bed Kellie Pickler hid my juice box under my bassinet No wonder my ass is wet my diaper needs to be changed
Using childish and nonsensical imagery, pretending to act like a baby to highlight his vulnerability, insecurity, and dependence on others.

You like graffiti, dyke? Well, I can pee-pee and write your name Fine, nobody wants to play with me? Fuck you then, bitch
Making homophobic and sexist remarks to make the listener uncomfortable, further emphasizing feeling unaccepted and abandoned.

Guys are always mean to me anyways All you ever do is rub gum in my hair and stuff Guys are gonna make me, make me sad, I'm sad I'm gonna cry, I'm cryin' I'm goin' to tell my mom, Mom!
Pretending to cry and complain to his mom about being bullied, further highlighting his vulnerable and insecure side.