Hurt Feelings
Flight of the Conchords Lyrics

Some people say that rappers don't have feelings
Misjudgment: that rappers are heartless

We have feelings. (We have feelings)
A fact: rappers are capable of feeling

Some people say that we are not rappers. (We're rappers.)
Misjudgment: that they are not authentic rappers

That hurts our feelings.
Expressing hurt feelings due to being misjudged

Hurts our feelings when you say we're not rappers.
Stating the reason behind the hurt feelings

Some people say that rappers are invincible
Misjudgment: that rappers are immune to emotional pain

We're vincible. (We're vincible.)
Stating the fact: that rappers are vulnerable to emotional pain

What you are about to hear are true stories
An introduction to their autobiographical raps

(Real experiences)
Elaborating that they are not fabricated stories

Autobiographical raps.
Defining the nature of their raps

Things that happened to us, all true
Qualifying the authenticity of their raps

Bring the rhyme!
A call to start their rapping

I make a meal for my friends,
An anecdote about making a meal for his friends

Try to make it delicious,
A goal in preparing the meal

Try to keep it nutritious,
Another goal in preparing the meal

Create wonderful dishes.
The result of his effort in cooking

Not one of them thinks about the way I feel
His friends' lack of appreciation for his effort

Nobody compliments the meal
His friends' lack of positive feedback

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
Expressing hurt feelings

I feel like a prize asshole
Feeling embarrassed and ashamed

No one even mentions my casserole.
Feeling unappreciated for his efforts in making the dish

You coulda said something nice about my profiteroles
Expressing the kind of feedback he hoped to receive

Here's a little story to bring a tear to your eye,
Starting a new anecdote

I was shopping for a wetsuit to scuba dive,
The context of the anecdote

But every suit I tried is too big around the thighs,
The problem he encountered while looking for a wetsuit

And the assistant suggested I try a ladies' size
The assistant's suggestion that he found emasculating

I'm not gonna wear a ladies' wetsuit I'm a man!
Refusing to wear the suggested wetsuit size to assert his masculinity

Get me a small man's wetsuit, please
Requesting a suit that fits his size and gender

It's my birthday, 2003
Another anecdote about his birthday

Waitin' for a call from my family
Expecting a call from his family on his birthday

They forgot about me
Feeling neglected and unimportant

The day after my birthday is not my birthday, Mum
Correcting his mother's mistake in forgetting his birthday

I call my friends and say, "Let's go into town"
Another anecdote about wanting to spend time with his friends

But they're all too busy to go into town
His friends' unavailability to hang out

So I go by myself, I go into town
Going out alone

Then I see all my friends, they're all in town
Running into his friends, who were supposedly too busy

They're all lined up to watch that movie
His friends being together without him

"Maid in Manhattan."
The movie they are watching

Have you even been told that your ass is too big?
Asking a rhetorical question about being body-shamed

Have you ever been asked if your hair is a wig?
Asking a rhetorical question about being questioned on one's looks

Have you ever been told you're mediocre in bed?
Asking a rhetorical question about being criticized in bed

Have you ever been told you've got a weird-shaped head?
Asking a rhetorical question about being mocked for one's appearance

Has your family ever forgotten you and driven away?
Asking a rhetorical question about being deserted by one's family

Once again, they forgot about J
Expressing a recurring feeling of being neglected

Were you ever called "homo" 'cause at school you took drama?
Asking a rhetorical question about being bullied for one's interests

Have you ever been told that you look like a llama?
Asking a rhetorical question about being mocked for one's appearance

Tears of a rapper
Introducing the theme of the song

(don't wanna make a rapper cry then watch what you say)
Warning others to avoid triggering a rapper's emotions

I'm crying tears of a rapper
Expressing the tears as a rapper's emotions

(I pouring out the bullets of my Icannon)
Metaphor: the tears are the bullets from his emotional artillery

Go play the tears of a rapper
Inviting others to listen to the song

(These are the tears of a rapper now)
Clarifying that the tears are part of the rap song

The diamond tears of a rapper
Metaphor: the tears are valuable and strong like diamonds

(These are the bullet proof 24 karat of tears, of a rapper)
Metaphor: the tears are as strong as a bullet-proof vest