Can I Be Honest
KJ-52 Lyrics

What if I spoke w/ complete honest-ness
What if I truly spoke with no lies or deception

What if told you that I've broken some promises
What if I told you that I have failed to keep some commitments

I dealt with pride ever since a little kid
I have struggled with excessive self-confidence since a young age

I've comprised and I've doubted like Thomas did
I have given in to compromise and doubt, similar to the story of doubting Thomas in the Bible

I can't hide though he sees the way I live
I cannot hide my true actions and character because God sees everything

Every single time I told every little fib
Every time I told a small lie

I can't deny cause he's already knowing this
I cannot pretend it didn't happen because God already knows about it

But to my wife I regret the time that I've missed
I feel remorseful for not spending enough time with my wife

I've been on the road when I really should've been home
I have prioritized work over spending time with my loved ones

Been on the phone and took calls I should've left alone
I have answered calls that were not important and should have been ignored

I shouldn't have done that see I want you to know
I know now that I made a mistake and I want to admit it

I should've been with you then out trying to get dough
I regret not being with my wife and chasing after money instead

I still got issues that's hard to let go
I still struggle with personal problems that are difficult to overcome

Still got some bitter situations with a few folks
I still have unresolved conflicts with some people in my life

Still got a temper that I work hard to control
I still have a tendency to get angry, but I am actively trying to manage it

I gotta remember your standard that's the goal
I need to keep in mind God's standard and strive to meet it

Can I be honest?
Can I speak truthfully without fear of judgment?

Can I be real?
Can I truly express myself without any falsehoods?

Would they still just to how I feel?
Would people accept me for being honest about my feelings?

But if I was honest?
But if I were truthful and open

If I was real?
If I expressed myself with complete sincerity

Would they even care about how I feel?
Would people even show concern for my emotions?

I've wanted to get back at those who tried to doubt me
I have desired revenge on those who did not believe in me

I've wanted to hit back every time they tried to clown me
I have had the urge to retaliate when made fun of

I've said some things about those that tried to down me
I have spoken negatively about those who have criticized me

I've been too hard on some people that's been around me
I have been excessively critical of some people in my life

I'm a workaholic addicted to the game
I am addicted to work and success

Plus sometimes I've been addicted to the fame
I have also become obsessed with receiving attention and recognition

I look deep inside things that I'm ashamed
I reflect on things that I am ashamed of

Still the little kid conflicted still in pain
I still feel like a conflicted child, experiencing pain and confusion

I'm so grateful when I think though how you found me
I feel immense gratitude for God's presence in my life

I used to be hateful of everything that's around me
I used to be full of hate toward everything and everyone

I'm so thankful of the way that you still surround me
I am grateful for God's continued presence and love in my life

So shameful yet you love me still confounds me
I feel embarrassed by my past mistakes, but God's love still amazes me

See I've put myself first
I have prioritized my own needs and desires over others

I've gone days sometimes without reading your word
I have neglected to read the Bible for days at a time

I've acted like a huge jerk
I have behaved in an unpleasant and rude manner

Yet you still love me that's the thing that I've learned
Despite my flaws, God's love for me remains constant

Sometimes I dumb down to sell a few records
At times, I have chosen to sacrifice artistic integrity to make more money

Didn't do it though just to get a little cheddar
I did not do it solely for financial gain

But looking back I could've made some of my songs better
In hindsight, I realize that I could have improved some of my music

Hindsight is 20/20 so I'm like whatever
Looking back, it is easy to see what could have been done differently, but I am not dwelling on it

But I regret some of my broken relationships
I feel remorse over some relationships that have ended or been damaged

No matter how hard I've tried to just make em fit
Despite my efforts, some relationships cannot be mended

And I don't blame myself and I'm not blaming them
I am not placing blame on myself or on others for these broken relationships

But too many up in my life have just came and went
I have had numerous people come into my life, but many have also left

I'm not perfect I serve a God who is
I recognize that I am not infallible, but I worship a perfect God

I serve a God who lives who says that I'm his kid
I have faith in a God who loves me and claims me as his child

When I shoot for the mark but I shoot and miss
When I try to meet certain standards but fall short

I serve a God who gives a new start and he forgives
I believe in a God who offers forgiveness and a fresh start

And takes every thing I ever did
God forgives all of my past mistakes and sins

Then he throws it in the sea of forgetfulness
God forgets and forgives my past wrongs

See I'm just being honest I hope your getting this
I am just speaking truthfully and I hope that you understand

'cause he's my promise the reason that I live
God is my promise and the reason for my existence