Use My Arse As a Cunt
Kunt and the Gang Lyrics

I wanted a record deal but I was too rude
I attempted to secure a record deal, but my impolite behaviour prevented me from achieving this.

I tried approaching companies but they did not approve
My attempts to contact record companies were unsuccessful, resulting in repeated rejections.

Until I met this one guy, a corrupt A&R man
Eventually, I encountered a morally bankrupt representative who worked in the artist and repertoire division of a record label.

He said "Kunt, I will sign you but you have to understand"
The aforementioned man told me he would offer me a contract, but there were certain stipulations I needed to agree with.

"I want to utilise your bum as someone I can put
"I would like to use your anus as an orifice to penetrate.

My fingers and my hands, my toes and then my foot
I want to penetrate you with my fingers, hands, toes, and even foot.

My penis and testes, my tongue and then my head"
I also desire to use my genitalia, tongue, and head to penetrate you anally.

I mulled it over carefully and this is what I said:
I thought thoroughly about the proposal before delivering my response.

CHORUS:
The chorus begins.

"Go on then, just this once
"Very well, give it a try just once.

Use my arsehole as a cunt
Penetrate my anus as if it were a vagina.

Use my arse, use my arse
Use my anus for your sexual pleasure.

Use my arsehole, use my arse
Make use of my anus as a sexual orifice.

Go on then, just this once
Once again, I permit you to attempt this just one time.

Use my arsehole as a cunt
Once again, please penetrate my anus as if it were a vagina.

Use my arse, use my arse
Utilise my anus for your sexual pleasure.

Use my arsehole, use my arse"
As previously stated, make use of my anal cavity as a sexual orifice.

I started feeling guilty as if I'd sold my soul
I began to experience emotions of shame and regret, as if I had made a deal with the devil.

I started feeling itchy around my bumhole
Unpleasant sensations of itchiness manifested around my anus.

I started feeling achy around my underneath
My perianal area was experiencing discomfort and pain.

I realised he'd used my bum without using a sheath
Upon reflection, I came to understand that the aforementioned individual had engaged in sexual activity with me without using a form of protection.

So I went to the doctors because my bum was sore
Due to the pain and discomfort I was feeling in my buttocks, I decided to seek medical attention.

I needed my bum sorting out 'cause I was due on tour
As I had upcoming shows to perform, it was imperative that my rectal issues were resolved swiftly.

The doctor took a look at it and said "It looks quite raw"
After examining my anus, the doctor informed me that it appeared to be experiencing significant irritation and redness.

"It looks itchy and flaky but I just can't be sure
"I can see that the area is fraught with itchiness and scaling, but I cannot conclusively diagnose the issue.

I need to use your bum myself if I'm to find a cure"
In order to properly evaluate my condition, the medical professional informed me that he would need to conduct a physical examination of my anus himself.

Come on, penetrate me
The doctor requested that I allow him to penetrate me anally.

Make me feel like a lady
The medical professional sought to penetrate me in a manner he believed would be pleasing, perhaps to cater to some form of fetish or kink.

But don't push it in too deep
While I allowed the doctor to proceed with the anal examination, I cautioned him not to push too far or too hard.

Or you might end up with shit around your brim
If the doctor was not careful, he may encounter faeces during the examination due to the irritation and damage inflicted upon my anus.