I Do Not Want This
Nine Inch Nails Lyrics
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You know how this world can beat you down
I'm made of clay
I fear I'm the only one who thinks this way
I'm always falling down the same hill
Bamboo puncturing this skin
And nothing comes bleeding out of me just like a waterfall I'm
Drowning in
And if I could just reach you maybe I could leave this place
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
You don't know just how I feel
I stay inside my bed
I have lived so many lives all in my head
Don't tell me that you care
There really isn't anything, is there?
You would know, wouldn't you?
You extend your hand to those who suffer
To those who know what it really feels like
To those who've had a taste
Like that means something
And oh so sick I am
And maybe I don't have a choice
And maybe that is all I have
And maybe this is a cry for help
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
You don't know just how I feel
I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters
I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters
In "I Do Not Want This," Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails sings reflectively on a sense of detachment and desperation. He opens up about how the world can beat you down, and how what he is made of (clay) is not strong enough to resist it. He feels isolated in his struggles, acknowledging that he may be the only one who understands the depth of his pain. The imagery of falling down the same hill, with bamboo puncturing his skin, and nothing coming out is powerful because he is so used to the pain that he no longer feels or reacts to it. The line "just like a waterfall I'm drowning in," implies that he is overwhelmed and consumed by his thoughts.
He then shifts to acknowledging someone he cares for two feet below the surface of where he is struggling. Though the person is wavy and distorted from where he is, they represent hope, and if he can just reach them, he may be able to escape this place. However, whatever is happening to him, he does not want. "I do not want this" is a recurring phrase that captures his fear, desperation, and isolation. Reznor is struggling with the feeling of being lost and trapped in his own head, feeling that he has experience with so much in his life, he can no longer find anything that matters.
Line by Line Meaning
I'm losing ground
I'm struggling and falling behind
You know how this world can beat you down
You understand the challenges and difficulties of life
I'm made of clay
I'm fragile and easily shaped by external forces
I fear I'm the only one who thinks this way
I'm scared that my thoughts and feelings are unique and isolated
I'm always falling down the same hill
I keep repeating the same mistakes and facing the same obstacles
Bamboo puncturing this skin
I'm being hurt and wounded by something small and insignificant
And nothing comes bleeding out of me just like a waterfall I'm Drowning in
I'm overwhelmed with emotions but unable to express or release them
Two feet below the surface I can still make out your wavy face
Even when I'm struggling and drowning, I still remember you and your image gives me hope
And if I could just reach you maybe I could leave this place
If I could connect with you, I could find a way to escape my pain and suffering
I do not want this
I don't want to be in this state of pain and suffering
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't assume you know my thoughts and emotions
You don't know just how I feel
You cannot fully comprehend or relate to my experience
I stay inside my bed
I isolate myself and avoid the outside world
I have lived so many lives all in my head
I have a rich inner life and imagination, but struggle to manifest it in the real world
Don't tell me that you care
Don't offer empty expressions of empathy or compassion
There really isn't anything, is there?
Nothing you say or do can truly alleviate my suffering
You would know, wouldn't you?
You claim to have experienced similar pain, but I don't believe you
You extend your hand to those who suffer
You offer help and support to those in pain
To those who know what it really feels like
To those who have truly experienced intense emotional pain
Like that means something
Your gestures of support are well-intended but ultimately empty
And oh so sick I am
I'm extremely unwell and suffering deeply
And maybe I don't have a choice
Perhaps I'm stuck in this state and lack agency to change it
And maybe that is all I have
Perhaps this suffering is the only thing I truly possess or identify with
And maybe this is a cry for help
Perhaps this expression of pain is a desperate plea for assistance
I want to know everything
I thirst for knowledge and understanding
I want to be everywhere
I want to experience all of life's possibilities and opportunities
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I have intense sexual desires and am attracted to everyone
I want to do something that matters
I want to make a positive impact and leave a meaningful legacy
Lyrics © CONCORD MUSIC PUBLISHING LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Trent Reznor
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
SabrinaOnlineFan96
on Hurt
This is the most depressing song ever. I listened to this a lot back in November-December 2022.
SabrinaOnlineFan96
on Eraser
This song is so intense. It sounds like music from a horror movie. I love the Dissonance Tour version, but I don't like the Polite version, as it just sounds like one of those easy listening tracks. This song has gory vibes.
DrJKintobor
on Driver Down
I have a theory that this song is the instrumental for "Just Do It", the lost song from TDS that was scrapped for "promoting suicide".
DrJKintobor
on Heresy
I'm really resisting the urge to make a Warhammer 40k joke.
DrJKintobor
on Mr. Self Destruct
This song reminds me of Fleetway Super Sonic (if you don't know, the Fleetway Sonic Comics have Super Sonic as an evil split personality of Sonic)
Mohin Kann
on Closer
Moien
Antoinette Alvarez
on Something I Can Never Have
This song is sooo beautiful ♡
Antoinette Alvarez
on Sanctified
♡
Antoinette Alvarez
on Find My Way
OMG I ♡ THIS SONG