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WHEN I WAS OLDER
Billie Eilish Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
Hmm

I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more
Like all we ever do is see how far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again

Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood

When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be

I'm watching movies back to back in black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
I'm goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah

When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea

Overall Meaning

Billie Eilish's song, "When I was older" is inspired by her deep love for the 2018 movie, "Roma", directed by Alfonso Cuarón. The movie depicts the life of a domestic worker and the political turmoil that Mexico experienced in the 1970s. The lyrics of the song reflect the emotions of the main character, Cleo portrayed by Yalitza Aparicio. In the song, Billie Eilish portrays herself as a sailor on an open sea, which symbolizes the freedom and adventure that Cleo craves. However, she is now underwater, and her skin is paler than it should ever be. The lines refer to the struggles that Cleo goes through as she is caught up in the political unrest of Mexico.


The next lines of the song, "I'm on my back again, dreaming of a time and place, where you and I remain the best of friends, even after all this ends, can we pretend?" talks about Cleo's desire for her former lover to stay with her, and their friendship to remain the same. The line "seeming more and more like all we ever do is see how far it bends before it breaks in half and then we bend it back again" alludes to Cleo's turbulent relationship with her lover, who is unsure about their future together.


Line by Line Meaning

When I was older
In times past, I had a different experience


I was a sailor on an open sea
At one point, I had a sense of adventure and freedom


But now I'm underwater
Currently, I feel like I'm struggling and suffocating


And my skin is paler than it should ever be
The current situation is affecting me physically and mentally


I'm on my back again
I am in a vulnerable position


Dreaming of a time and place
I am imagining a different scenario


Where you and I remain the best of friends
In this scenario, our relationship remains strong


Even after all this ends
Despite whatever happens


Can we pretend?
Is it possible to imagine this alternate reality?


It's seeming more and more
The current situation is feeling increasingly difficult


Like all we ever do is see how far it bends
It feels like we are constantly testing our limits


Before it breaks in half and then
Before we reach a point of no return


We bend it back again
We try to fix things and go back to the way they were


Guess I got caught in the middle of it
I feel stuck in the midst of a difficult situation


Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
I have experienced similar situations before


In my blood, in my blood
It feels like a part of me


Memories burn like a forest fire
Past events have had a powerful effect on me


Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
Even the most intense situations can eventually become mundane


In the flood
During extreme times


I'm watching movies back to back in black and white, I never
I am purposely distracting myself from reality by watching old movies


Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
I am finding solace in my own methods


I'm goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors
I am moving on from someone and ready for new experiences


Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
I feel incredibly alone and unsure if anyone else feels the same


You'd really like it in the limelight
I am questioning if someone would enjoy being in the spotlight


You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I believe someone would understand and empathize with those perceived as villains


I'm still a victim in my own right
Despite this, I feel like I am still suffering


But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
In my own perspective, I see myself as the one in the wrong


When I was older
Reflecting back on past experiences




Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Billie Eilish O'Connell, Finneas Baird O'Connell

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

LilyRockstar2012


on lovely (with Khalid)

Thought I found a wayThought I found a way out (found)But you never go away (never go away)So I guess I gotta stay nowOh, I hope some day I'll make it out of hereEven if it takes all night or a hundred yearsNeed a place to hide, but I can't find one nearWanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fearIsn't it lovely, all aloneHeart made of glass, my mind of stoneTear me to pieces, skin to boneHello, welcome homeWalkin' out of townLookin' for a better place (lookin' for a better place)Something's on my mind (mind)Always in my head spaceBut I know some day I'll make it out of hereEven if it takes all night or a hundred yearsNeed a place to hide, but I can't find one nearWanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fearIsn't it lovely, all aloneHeart made of glass, my mind of stoneTear me to pieces, skin to boneHello, welcome homeWhoa, yeahYeah, ahWhoa, whoaHello, welcome home

Thought I found a way
Thought I found a way out (found)
But you never go away (never go away)
So I guess I gotta stay now

Oh, I hope some day I'll make it out of here
Even if it takes all night or a hundred years
Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near
Wanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear

Isn't it lovely, all alone
Heart made of glass, my mind of stone
Tear me to pieces, skin to bone
Hello, welcome home

Walkin' out of town
Lookin' for a better place (lookin' for a better place)
Something's on my mind (mind)
Always in my head space

But I know some day I'll make it out of here
Even if it takes all night or a hundred years
Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near
Wanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear

Isn't it lovely, all alone
Heart made of glass, my mind of stone
Tear me to pieces, skin to bone
Hello, welcome home

Whoa, yeah
Yeah, ah
Whoa, whoa
Hello, welcome home
I LOVE THIS SONNGGGGGGGGGGGG

sdasdas


on Happier Than Ever

Hi lobbbbbbbbbbbbb

Billie Eilish fan


on Everything I Wanted

I love this song ❤️♥️

Sophie


on bad guy

Lov love It ❤️

Cléo


on bad guy

Eu amo música

yes


on Everything I Wanted

I had a dream

Hey


There, It is i, yes


I fink personallee that wee wee die rash is referncing the great Martin lufer kin with this

wonderful analogy right at]th]

eht the very start of the song. And what a beautfiful one it ws! so many instruments and pineapples. It rally did
]
open up my minds 12th eye and as I voice crack into puberty, let me sing you out after reading

a very
hearfelt review.

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna gangnam style

Welcome to the nut zone

Only nut inside of squirrells homes

Pressure cook my delicious chickem.

Mail your mum pieces of my love for her.

Nutty bottom nutella

Stitch my wound shut.

Three little words,

Uh oh stinky.


Thnak you yes it was me
Kind regards,
¬And all of my love for eeryone ever

Yes.

yes


on bad guy

I'm a bad-

Yo

it's ya boi

yes

What the funk does she mean here? there is no actual explanation she literally just ends it on 'Bad', bad whAT! bILLIE! ANSWER ME PLEASE I JUST WNAT TO KNOW THE DEEPER MEANINGS OF THIS SONG SO i CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR COMPLEX BRSIN. (that's brain crossed with prison ;))

Yours
and forever as such,
Yes

yes


on bad guy

Make your girlfriend mad tight

Yo this is actually mad disrespectful vro, my girlfriends front bottom is too tight and she had to get surgery to loosen it and I really don't appreciate this kind of disrespect in my young clean Christisan neighborehood. She feels really really seriously insecure about the whole thing and I would appreciate an email from willy eyelash herself

Yours Truly,
Yes.

yes


on bad guy

Ur mum gey

ehaam


on Bored

very nice

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