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Mr. Punch
by Future Bible Heroes

Everybody gets it sometime, sorry
Virus, fire, gryoscope, lear jet, lorry
Choking on a chicken bone lurking in lunch
And you're dead, dead, dead!
But not Mr. Punch

That Mr. Punch, he's a rum one, ain't he?
Strapping as his yapping little wife is dainty
Hit her with a big stick, give her what for
And she's dead, dead, dead
On the crimson floor
(Repeat)

In the real world, all effects are causal
Amble backstage, see the sticks and swozzle
Talk to the Professor of the tricks of his trade
Ask him for his flask, it's only lemonade...

But
Here comes a Crocodile, here comes Clootie
Hear the Beadle wheedle, and the ghost of Judy
Rattling her ribs in rodomontade
They're all dead, dead, dead
In the old arcade
(Repeat)

Contributed by Charlotte B. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
To comment on specific lyrics, highlight them
Comments from YouTube:

GitsonShiggles

The world seems to have forgotten this song.

MidnightWisps

I've read the comic as well, and I think it's well weird and freaky in places, I think it's how Mr Punch looks in the comic, but it suits the freakiness of the song perfectly =3

G P A Martin

Absolutely! "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" is my favourite track (3) on Abbey Road. There's a silver gavel in a glass box on my desk... just in case. If I took your comment seriously, as among the abysmal objections to happy things - raised by the "Politically Correct" (which, by the by, is a perjorative) - then I would be rather distraught.

chumon1992

Luv this songgg! <33

chumon1992

comic, multiple tv references, puppet show. All the above.

Tristram Draper

You also have to know the history of punch and judy

Darlingfairy

<3 ^.^

Silverriku

If you read the comic it juuuust might make sense.

chumon1992

it would make sense if you knew of Punch and Judy

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